There's a good thing about the new job then bud, just get it out of the way right off the bat. "Nah I don't drink thanks", then you aren't having to explain it 10 different times as the situations come up individually. I wouldn't even go the 'can't I'm driving tonight' route, just plain ol', 'no thanks, not my thing'. One and done, and dead issue at work from now on.

Evening all, just stopping by. Relaxing here having a donair watching the hockey game trying to relax. Wound up working much later than I had planned because the engineer had our payment certificate all screwed up, was basically the 2nd last thing I had to do here and was 'finished' Monday. Not impressed, this time of the year is supposed to be come in whenever, have coffee, BS with people who stop by to drop off gifts from our suppliers etc (usually wine, never been my thing), go somewhere nice for a long 'business' lunch and leave early. Ah well, its sorted now and all approved by the owner.

Things have been good on this end, house is coming together slowly, just enough changes for it to feel different. Got to be careful though, starting on the slippery slope here, with the clearer mind, and actually caring about things beyond 'good enough' have started getting too many ideas for the house. Now that I have decided I am not going to move I'm going to look at redoing some flooring and the countertops, replace the toilets with the 2 stage ones etc., so just putting the brakes on for awhile, get in the mode and act like it all has to get done by next week. That and my Visa keeps yelling 'No Mas' at me, he is very tired lately between the house and christmas.

Still waiting on more tests for our superintendent, its gone from a month at most, to up to 1 month - 1 year, now hearing 1 year to maybe even 10 years, but it will be terminal eventually. He is heavily sedated because when they bring him around he rips all the tubes out trying to leave, they've even had him in restraints at times. This is a man that literally never watched tv other than the news once in a blue moon because he could be doing something else, preferably drinking. It is some type of fungal infection, not cancer, but it acts very similar. Can't do much other than hope for better news, although I guess anything other than the initial diagnosis is better news.

On a brighter note, few hours at work tomorrow and then off for a few weeks, normally in the past it would just be how long I stayed sober on it until the bender started, but haven't even given it a thought. I almost feel guilty that it was more a chemical thing in my brain than alcoholism or some other label. Before I started the zoloft it was always just a matter of how many days I would go before the inevitable. This time I've had to count back a few times to even figure where I'm at, not even sure what my last day drinking was, but I started the meds 9 weeks ago now, so I'll just be using that if I need a reference. Long way to go and probably seems premature to everyone or wishful thinking, but it just does feel like I've finally 'turned a corner' or 'cloud has lifted' or 'got out of the rut' or whatever other cliche you may prefer. It's nice to care about things again, it's nice to genuinely laugh at stuff again. And I thank all of you guys for the empathy and the non-judging over the past year as I had more slips than I would have liked, but less than I would have had without this place.

The kittens are great, bonded perfectly and actually very well behaved, and both of them aren't greedy when it comes to food (pet peeve with cats for myself). Will get some more pictures up one of these days, we are getting all dressed up in Christmas clothes and getting our picture taken with Santa as our Christmas cards. Actually no, we're not, that's terrible.... I also finally got myself an aquarium starter kit, had the perfect spot for one that kind of appeared out of nowhere and made perfect sense while rearranging the house. Have always liked them and meant to do it, just never did. It's a hobby that requires patience, and I need both of those. Been a mission trying to come up with some stuff to keep the brain occupied, and I'm as green as they come so there is unlimited info I can look in to, freshwater, saltwater, it's endless.

Well that's my longest post ever, hope everyone is having a good night.

Thanks for the lovely post, Gonzo! You sound so good & more patient with yourself and recognizing the great things about you (and the things to watch out for). I had an aquarium for a few years -- it is a great hobby, and you're right, there's a lot you can learn and a lot of different ways to take it.

I also think it's really cool that it was only when you got off the drink, that you could get to understand your other issues & address them.

Hooray for you!:You_Rock_

Oh I have been naughty today :)
I don't drink, smoke, rarely buy clothes (I'm a strange breed of woman who hates clothes shopping!!) A treat for me is silence, to be alone with many books and a sauna. So I've booked 4 days/3 nights away at my favourite health spa for the end of Jan. I'm so excited. You may recall I last went in Feb alone at 2 months sober. It was a big test for me as used to drinking wine there but I managed it.

Now I feel a bit of an old hand and will embrace and enjoy it sober. Got 25% off as probably quiet in Jan and Mr RAL happy to look after junior RAL for 4 days so booked it this morning. So excited ,peace and silence.

Travelled for 5 hours today to see family,journey wasn't as bad as expected given the day and the weather.

Happy weekend everyone-am off to peruse the treatments brochure :)

Have fun on your break Ready.

Unfortunately we got the phone call we didn't want last night. Just when things seemed to be going in a better way our employee had some complications last evening, coded suddenly and they couldn't revive him. Not a great day, but it is probably for the best as the type of quality of life they were saying was maybe possible wasn't something he would have been okay with. Hug your loved ones.

Ready, enjoy your spa days.

Gonzo, I'm sorry to hear about your employee. I'm glad you're sober & fit to support your colleagues. Thanks for the reminder -- life is fragile.

I'm sorry for your loss Gonzo.

D

I'm so sorry for your sad news and loss Gonzo.

Very sorry to hear that Gonzo

It's been hectic at work the last few weeks and I've been really falling asleep on the couch almost every night. I've made a big effort this Christmas to meet friends,post cards, go to Christmas concerts etc and while it feels very good and positive it's also very tiring!!
Today I must do lots of shopping for gifts and get to a meeting this evening...I feel good and relaxed about not wanting everything to be perfect. That was an annual problem... the build-up and anticipation for a chestnuts roasting,carol singing, picture perfect Christmas. It's an illusion that drink fed right into! Now I have that festive feeling without the hangover!!!
Love to you all :)

Hi all.

Gonzo, sorry to hear about your coworker. But I enjoyed your long post! I'm glad the medicine is making you feel better and you think you could send me some of that home improvement motivation?!

Marria, glad to hear you are doing well.

RAL, take me with you!!! How much fun.

Courage, howdy! Hope you're doing well.

Taz, hiya.

My son's best friend's grandmother passed away on the 17th and today was the funeral. She was one of the sweetest women I had ever met and she was cute and had broken English and made up for it by being kind and loving and it was a very hard funeral. People alternated between sobbing and laughing. I feel bad for her daughter (my son's friend's mom) because she was fighting with her mom over the holidays and I lost my mom 2 years ago and to be totally honest, I never grieved. I worked and drank and I'm sure some of what in feeling is from that. Blech.

Going to a meeting soon, I need it. Not going to drink but I used to shut off the feelings with wine and I don't do that anymore.

Hi everybody!

Tam, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It seems like there's a lot of sadness going around. Glad you're going to go to a meeting.

Marria, you sound great! I like the phrase "festive feeling without the hangover."

I just came home -- went to see my friend who made the suicide attempt. She looks better and has been transferred to the "regular" psych ward -- not the emergency ward -- which is very slightly less restrictive, but also very crowded. Her thinking still strikes me as pretty delusional, but I guess that's par for the course. As I was getting ready to go she asked me to go pick up some stuff for her at Target. Now, walking through a strange neighborhood in the Bronx (I don't have a car), dealing with Target on the Saturday before Christmas, trying to find items on the fairly personal wish list of non-family member, and, just to mention it again, freaking TARGET? And running late on my own schedule... let's just say that I might have taken a bed in her ward if they'd offered it instead. As it was I bought a pack of cigarettes (just when I'd been ready to give them up), coffee, and a pint of ice cream, and I ate a cookie & logged on to SR like the minute I got home. I'm afraid I'll be indulging most of my less significant vices tonight!

What's Target?

a discount department store :)

D

Heaven on earth. Except at this time of year. Courage, you're a good person for doing that. I'm avoiding all retail outlets until after Christmas.

This is Target at Christmas:
http://blog.urbanbohemian.com/wp-con.../zombies01.png

And this --
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/...b_2191650b.jpg


OMG I'm having flashbacks, need to go meditate. Later, class!

LOL! I love it!

Hi all,
It's quiet in here -- I think that's a good thing as people are moving on with their lives. I'm leaving NYC for 2 weeks tomorrow a.m. -- I'm going to southern Arizona where I was last year in my very first days alcohol-free. I'm not sure about my internet access there, and if we dip down to Mexico I'll definitely be without a connection. Probably I'll be posting -- it's hard to tear me away from SR! -- but if not, don't worry.

Happy holidays, everyone! :)

Safe travels Courage, sorry to hear about your colleague Gonzo.

Shopping and drinks events are all done, apart from needing some table mats and crackers, Dads sent an email round saying he's spent a week researching best wine for the table and will be turning up with 12 bottles of it (for Xmas Day and Boxing Day) for one meal with 3 adults (incl me) and another with 6, hmm.....factor in what others will bring. There's no telling my dad tho unfortunately. We spoke back in October and he said he was going to give not drinking another go as he found himself buying far too much at once onto the basis that he didn't want to then have to leave the house to get some more drunk, I said I knew that feeling and it's a dangerous place to be, next thing he's turning up with 4 cases...

Fighting off what seems like multiple colds, was feeling better yesterday so went to the gym for an hour but may have overdone it, as feeling full of headache and gunge again :(

Hey Ho, (Ho Ho)