90 days! Yesterday, actually. I've just realized that my monthly quit date is more or less on par with my 'time of the month.' Talk about getting to know your feelings... "Everything is terrible. I hate everything. I hate myse... OH. OH RIGHT. OK then." So I spent yesterday in bed with a pillow over my head.

I had a very nice weekend though. I went barbecuing and swimming and I was the designated driver. I had a great time and wasn't very tempted to drink, which was pretty amazing.

I'm really proud to be at 90 days. A bit nervous, because now I'm past that arbitrary line that I made for myself. But I'll just need to be more vigilant now.

So happy for you fantail!!! Congratulations on 90 days!!! :nyu

And I recognise this feeling: "Everything is terrible. I hate everything. I hate myse... OH. OH RIGHT. OK then."
It's oh so much fun being female sometimes - NOT!!!

Just keep doing what you've been doing, it's working!

Love you lots,

Venus xx

rock on, fantail! 90 days is awesome. before you know it you will be in the triple digit club!

sorry no time to go through the other page, sorry for what I've missed. will be able to read more after this crazy workapalooza is done.

think it's day 83. that it, starbaby? :-)

take care, big hugs to all of you! wehav

Congratulations fantail :)

D

hi everyone!

congrats fantail! :You_Rock_
I was a wee bit nervous too, but felt better when I made a 90 day goal, part 2 (this 90 is about health recovery). It tricked my mind!

Good news - smoothies helps with the vitamins & nausea! I'm just tossing everything in the blender.

Bad news. Intense irrational madness. Last 2 days I am a train wreck of emotions. All over the place, no reason. I just want to cry, collapse in a heap, punch things, everything all at once, blame everyone. Terrible Twos!!!! And for no reason. I really wish I could just turn it off. I even woke up upset this morning (huh?)

I'm working from home to avoid talking to people. I'm avoiding email as well.

It's just weird & just came out of no where! This has happened 2 - 3 times in recovery.

I'm not sure what to do when intense irrational moods happen. HALT doesn't apply. There's nothing to accept, or change my viewpoint on...The intensity is outside of my ability to just try to laugh at myself, or reduce it. Intense. Irrational. Madness.

Hmmm...maybe exercise?

What do you do to get a grip when your emotions turn you into a walking time bomb?

My best friend reminds me of something whenever I feel this way Serene.

PAWS....

"Intense irrational madness" indeed. Out of nowhere, and BOOM it hits you...

It's going to be a while, so I guess we are just going to have to live with some strange ups and downs. It WILL end....

I think that being gentle and kind to yourself is the best way to go when this hits...
didn't you say something similar to me just a few days ago?

Love and hugs,

V xx

PS. And maybe some chocolate.... :)

hee hee!

I just noticed all the emoticons when I updated my post above to add one for fantail.
Wow, there are a couple of good ones that capture all my moods in one!

I had no idea we were so rich with emoticons :)
SR, you've thought of everything!!!!

:grouphug:

Thanks Venus

PAWS!!!!! so true! I was focusing so much on the brain fog that I forgot about the hyper emotions that can come up too! Maybe it's a sign that the vitamins are jumpstarting some brain rewiring :)

Thanks for the good cheer. I'm feeling a lot better already :)

Oh goodness.... well, see above post about pillow-over-the-head-syndrome for me. When I'm being smart about it, I get myself to yoga when I'm feeling nuts. But sometimes I just hide in my room and wait for it to blow over. Not very productive, or healthy, probably... but sometimes it feels good! Maybe you could try it more in moderation... like 2 hours of corny movie time?

Yay go fantail! My 90 will be on Saturday. I think I will steal your idea serene and have a 90 day plan to get healthier. I might excercise, i might eat fruits and vegetables. I might not eat so many cheeseburgers, who knows! :D

I LOVE cheeseburgers!!! Cheeseburgers for all.... we should celebrate. Lots of milestone days happening ♥

V xx

Awesome Easyrider! That's great news!

Hi to everyone - particularly folks who look like they've passed through in the past day or so - MV, 1step, Pamel, Easy, UpnUP, Fantail, WeHave, Venus, Fitness, Dee, & Like

Odelle, Starbaby, Bunny - Haven't heard from you for a bit. Hope you're doing well - we miss you!

Hi guys, just got back from my San Diego trip. First sober vacation but I made it through. I work for the Arizona location of the hotel I was staying at and have met the concierge before. She had a big bottle of champagne and chocolate covered strawberries waiting in the room for us which I promptly hid in a cuboard. Later that night I bought some sparkingly lemonade and I put those champagne glasses to good use. I had a virgin piña coolata by the pool which I haven't had since I was a kid. It was an amazing time and I was up early to hit the beach both days.

At one restaurant I ordered an ice tea at the waitress said "waiting to get started later then?". It was such a weird comment but made me realize how prevalent drinking is in our culture. I got a few raise eyebrows at other places too. It's like people expect me to drink and are surprised when I don't. Like, it was lunchtime... it shouldn't be so weird
to order an iced tea.

I think I'm starting to leave the stages of "drink, drink now, can I drink yet?" Into figuring out where I fit into this booze soaked culture.

My man was talking about visiting his aunt in San Fran this summer (a trip
I cant go on) and how she wants to drive to napa for wine tasting. I said "good thing I'm not going I couldn't handle that" and he said "well we wouldn't go if you were there" made me realize that while my alcoholism effected others in my life so does my sobriety. I hate being that burden everyone has to worry about but obviously it's for the best.

Ok rant over. Hope everyone else is doing well. -M.

Sorry I haven’t been online for a while; I was so excited about the pup only to be knocked down to zero after my husband pulled a Jekyll/Hyde personality shift. After years of him hounding me to get a German shepherd, I finally took action and his response was anything but positive. So, long story short, I backed out on the adoption and I am still reeling in anger and disappointment. I tend to withdraw when in such a bad state of mind; apparently this carries over to cyber communication/participation also.

Congratulations to all of the milestone achievers! Unfortunately, I have to reset my clock. While I didn’t crash and burn, I did drink wine 5 out of the last 9 days. So that puts me at day one today. What is crazy is that I had to convince myself to buy it. No cravings…I think I was drinking at my spouse…stupid I know. While I hate admitting the setback, I feel that I need to be honest with everyone here. Fortunately, I’m not having any WD symptoms or cravings, so I’m back on the wagon.

I also know that I need to find something to occupy my time with; I really need to get out of the house. So, if I’m still welcome in the February class, I would love to stay with you all.

As I was typing this, I received a phone call from a former colleague. The company she is with now is hiring an administrative assistant and she has built me up as the perfect candidate (bless her!), so I have a meet and greet scheduled for Monday. Wish me luck!

Sorry to hear all that Odelle but I'm glad you're back :)

D

Big hugs Odelle. Of course you stay with us here...we love you!! So sorry about the dog, and I'm glad you are not having physical withdrawal form those few days of wine. Hopefully the 'meet and greet' will go well; I think that job sounds perfect for you! ♥

So glad the trip went well Mel :) Virgin pina colatas (however you spell them) by the pool sound heavenly!!! :)
I hear you on how we are still affecting those in our lives with our alcoholism, but it seems so minor compared with the detrimental effects I had in my loved ones' lives before....maybe a few altered arrangements, but no pain and despair.

Dee is having an avatar crisis. :) Every day we see a new one.... like this one a lot Dee :)

Love and hello to everyone,

V xx

Sorry you slipped oddly but it's good you've came back! :0)

It's officially 90 days now that I've been sober! And I must say I'm feeling pretty awesome about that!

The last two days I've actually cooked, from scratch two home cooked meals! It might not sound much to some people but for me it's a big deal and I've got meals planned for the rest of the week too. It's a big change from surviving on cider, takeaways and fried egg sandwiches. If you're interested I made penne al'arriabata which was very nice and a red lentil curry...which needs some improvement lol. I'd be interested to see if anyone other budding chefs has any recipes I could try too.

The house is pretty clean and tidy. I'm finding whereas before I'd have to think and contemplate and stressing about stuff that needs doing I'm naturally doing it anyway and even enjoying it. I get a real sense I'm finally growing up, but I'm still only very young and just at the beginning. It's a little exciting and I'm getting more confident everyday.

Stay sober! ER

congratulations on 90 ER :)

D

Easy, congratulations!!!! 90 days. So good!!! :You_Rock_

And the cooking sounds awesome to me; I'm like you, never really made good food for myself before. Also enjoying looking after myself and doing basic tasks now. It's good, huh? :)

I would love recipes too. Starting with your al'arriabata please!!! :)

V xx

Hello dear friends. Still enjoying this lovely new life. 100 days for me tomorrow. I never would have thought it possible. It is late, but I wanted to catch up as I haven't been online much lately. More tomorrow. Just happy sober dreams tonight.
Much love~