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I woke up crying again....all I wanted to do was come here. Thank you Tammy. For some reason this has tripped me up like nothing before in the past 99 days. Mother's day yesterday was so so hard; I spent the afternoon with my dad. I said the serenity prayer over and over just to get me out of the door, and I must admit I wasn't my best. I still can't smile. Can't find me. Having that client sack me so meanly last week has shaken me. It's the first time in my life I lost a job when it WASN'T my fault. Sigh. Is this the stuff I never learned to deal with because I never grew up? Probably. So I'm here for the "unconditional support, caring, listening, and feedback" that Serene spoke of. Sorry to be sooky, but I can't seem to shake it right now. Glad the meeting was good for you Tammy ♥ Love to everyone, V xx |
Im so sorry your feeling down Venus, we're all here for you 100%, like you've been here for us all over the last few months. That client sounds like a nasty piece of work, you deserve better. 1su x |
I've lost jobs through clients going weird before - it's natural to think about whether you did anything wrong, but sometimes clients just turn, Venus. It's one of those out of our control things. Putting a positive spin on it this gives you more time to track down new clients (ior do whatever the heck else you want :)) I'm sorry that yesterday was rough for you too - I think it's natural to be sad tho, and certainly not sooky. If you feel it's impacting you significantly tho, do you have a Dr or a therapist you can talk to? D |
Thank you 1stepup and Dee. ♥ I think it may be time to make a doctor's appointment, and have a little chat.... but for now there is a wonderful counselling line that I have used many times in the past. I will call them in a few minutes after I grab a coffee. Thank you. V xx |
(((((Venus))))))) Sorry you are feeling so bad. Moms day is a toughie. I lost my mom years ago when was 13. It does get easier sweetie. And when you feel a little better you can find a better client. Super good thoughts coming your way! |
mmmmm. coffee! Happy to hear that you got to spend the day with your dad. I know that it meant a lot to him to have you there. Did I hear you say '99 days'?!?!??!?! CONGRATS VENUS!!!!!!! Tomorrow is going to be a new day, and you'll be starting the new week fresh with triple digits! BTW, I've noticed a funny correlation with my own 'day' milestones - they seem to come with a new challenge. Each one is uniquely tough, and it's by learning to move through them that I grow the most in recovery. It's always darkest before the dawn. Really glad to hear that you're reaching out for counseling. It's an amazing tool. Another big hug (((((((((((((VENUS))))))))))))))))))) we heart you! You have such a big, warm, & wonderful heart that brings so much joy to the lives that you touch. ps - would a movie or a walk help to take the edge off? "my big fat greek wedding" and "legally blonde" are my personal "go to" movies when I'm going through a rough patch with matters of the heart. |
((((((((((((((Venus))))))))))))))) I couldn't send just one :) |
wehav and serene ♥♥♥ Going to take your advice Serene and indulge myself with some videos. Thank you :) It's weird, a few people have mentioned that it gets hairy around the benchmark days...today I will chill, and tomorrow it's back to work with a much better attitude!! V xx |
When you go on holiday you will drink. LIES, LIES! But convincing lies. That's been stuck in my head all weekend. Still haven't done the gardening and it's getting out of control... |
Actually, it doesn't say will, need, want or can drink...it says you will have to drink. Weird or what? I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, and it certainly can't make me! |
(((((( Venus ))))))))))))) Getting fired does crazy things to your head. Don't beat yourself up about that. In my case, I knew it was coming and it still threw me for a loop... in your case it was out of left field! If you were dating a man and he dumped you out of the blue while things were going great, you would expect to have some emotional fall out from that. It makes sense to have the same coming out of this situation. ER - When are you going on vacation? I guess what I'm asking is, is this something that's about to be a real concern, or are you stressing out way in advance? If it's the first then a strategy is probably necessary... if it's the second then it might be best to just shut the thought process down when it begins... |
Well... took Ambien the last few nights, so I didn't tonight (don't want to get hooked). Up late but I feel like I might fall asleep within the hour... that's about four hours earlier than last week pre-Ambien. So maybe if I use it really deliberately for a couple days by taking it really early I can push my schedule back. I am going to ask my counselor about it on Wednesday. To be honest, I don't really care if I become emotionally dependent on sleep aids... the obsession and isolation of insomnia is such a huge freaking part of my life (and has been since I was a child) that I'd gladly take a daily pill for the rest of my life if it would go away. But I'm really afraid of doing anything that negatively impacts the same parts of my brain that I damaged with alcohol. |
Venus, I am so sorry you are having such a bad time. I am finally back in a good enough place to thank you for all the support you have so freely given to me. You will get that back in kind, and something better is going to come your way. Every time a door shut for me a new one opened-it made the space for new opportunities. Keep your eyes open, and know that you are a very special person! |
Fantail - I'm not even going on holiday! lol It's the addictive voice messing with me. I'm not stressing really it's more of a mild annoyance. It's a little voice whispering, niggling, hatching a plan. It's an inner conflict and a test of wills. I just want it to die, but I'm not going to give in. |
Hi guys, hope your all ok. Had a good productive day today, sorted a course out for next week, then did some gardening in afternoon. Went to my home group meeting tonight and really got a lot out of it, a great first share and a few newcomers in the room, I shared and for the first time didn't feel nervous. The meetings are definitely helping my confidence- guess its all about practice! |
It's an inner conflict and a test of wills. There is no conflict. You know whats best - there is no compromise. The battles over. That voice is like a lone heckler at a stand up show. Ignore it. There is no test of wills either. It has no will - you have all the will :) D |
100 days. So grateful to be here with you guys, my lovely Feb class buddies...you have all been very kind to me! Pamel and fantail, thank you! Love you heaps! Venus xx |
100 days! That's absolutely fantastic Venus! Well done you, you're such a great presence here in our class, I truly am happy for your achievement. 1su x:bbk: :You_Rock_ |
congrats Venus :) D |
woohooooo venus! congrats on 100 days! now THAT is bound to help you feel better. :-) |
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