Day 19, and feeling good today. I'm doing AA this time around, and I got a sponser last night. In the past, quitting without a program did not work for me.

Today I feel a peace, and I really feel like I can do this, I can make this program work for me, and I can be happy with a sober life. In just 19 days, the support system that I have in place has gone from nothing to something that i can really fely on, both from AA and from the fine folks here at SR. I know I need to work on myself, but I am ready to take that step.

Malcolms, I'm really pleased you have got yourself a sponsor and a solid support network.

19 days sober is great. :)

day 19 here
 

Hey everyone.........been reading and trying to educate my self here ........keeping to myself a bit.. here, and in general

then went back and read all of the class of jan 2010 thread, and it dawned on me........Duh! maybe I should hang and post here!!

I am trying to work the steps, (4th at present) I don't go to meetings, but will if I feel myself even remotely caving (which I don't at all) this will be weekend #3 (which I felt would be my hard times.....really haven't been thank God!)

Hub and I are going north to our fav lil get away for the week end (happy bout that) BUT>>>>>>>>Its also one of my fav drinking spots (augh) I knew I was going to quit drinking when I was up there for new years eve, so (like a true drunk.....I drank all the booze I had there)....or so I thought
and once again, like a true drunk......I'm now remembering I have a full bottle of my fav hard liquor stashed up there. I will ask him to "do something" with it!

My hub still drinks beer (has it in the house) and it has not been a temptation at all.........But I have not kept any hard liq around me! there is one small 4oz wine and 2 small bottles of Mikes hard lemonades in the fridge (of mine) if he doesn't drink them directly....I'll give them to my mom
so its not just the booze that's making me nervous...........I think its the old Fav issue.

last brief issue (well, that's not true, my "issues" have "issues" lol)
will be 3 weeks this sunday, and even though I haven't stood at the top of a mountain and screamed "I quit drinking!" .........My gosh, he HAS to know
and My husband has not said ONE word.
Okay, NO, I haven't told him repeatedly that I was going to quit (all though I have needed to...for sure) maybe he's just waiting to see how serious I am.

I read someones else thread ~if I'm allowed to reference them....(he was referring to his wife) and the glazed/glassy look in her eyes ! .....OMG...It was ME! ...It about made me cry!
mine always looked the same way (and I thought he didn't know??)

I also have read about the accountability thing (with telling others about quitting) the only one I had told previously was my daughter.....well, this week I told my SIL.........(in another state, but still a start)
I guess lil steps first ehh??

look forward to sharing and getting to know you all .........Jan 2010 is just our beginning!

Din

Hi Din, it's good to see you in this thread. Well done.

Am I reading this right, that you haven't actually told your husband you have quit drinking for good?

If that is the case and you are expecting him to deal with some hard liquor at your weekend place, I think you could be on shaky ground.

I´m pretty sure that he knows that you´re not drinking and knows how long you have been sober and now he´s just waiting. Holding his breath. He is problaly affraid to stress you. But wouldn´t it be a good idea to talk with him about it?

I would love to join this group! What an awesome support system to have! Congrats to all of you for being here! My last day was the 15th! The weekends are always the hardest for me, so the next couple days are going to be a challenge. Just keeping myself busy though. And you know what? I feel awesome! I'm excited what a new sober year can bring!

Today there was wine at the lunch table at my work. White and red and all you could drink. One of the apprentices was ready trained and we celebrated it. One hard hour for me. I drank a lot of water.

Wish you all a great sober weekend :c031:

Congratulations Alice .....and for choosing coffee over wine yesterday. It feels great to be sober!

But you did get through that hour, congratulations Wallingford.

Here's to a sober weekend for all of us!

:a122:

Yes, that is correct.....although, how can you go from a fifth a night to "nothing" and him not know?

But I think the catch phrase I just read (thank you very much btw) was the "for good" part........

He is the type of individual (and comes from the stock)....that if you have a problem, you just quit. ~ I should let him read my new book "under the influence".........but just like me.........ya can lead a horse to water, ya cant make him drink.

I will tell him on the way up.

Hi Alice and Welcome,

Good for you for stopping drinking! And, being aware that the weekend might be hard, is half the battle. Plan ahead to keep yourself busy doing other things.

Wallingford,

Be proud of yourself for getting through the lunch!

Din,

You're doing great! You don't need to stand on a mountaintop and shout, because people will see from your actions. I'm definitely in favor of getting rid of the alcohol in the house.

Hi Din,


He may have noticed but he may not be aware how important it is for you to just not take even one sip of a drink.....and he may end up persuading you to have a drink, without realising the consequences.

I think that is a wise decision to let him know. Enjoy your sober weekend. :)

That is such a great and important point, intention.

When I told my wife I was going to get help and start going to AA again, her first reaction was, "Good, that way you can learn to drink like a normal person again." It took me taking her to an appointmet with my psychiatrist for her to understand that I can NEVER drink again.

It's a dangerous situation because you do not want your SO being the trigger point that has you reaching for the alcohol again.

I'm still not sure if my wife understands it, but she does accept it.

Hi Racer,

I doubt she will ever understand having never experienced this powerful addiction but it is great that she has been supportive and you have recognised that you need to be sure that she knows, just one drink, could be fatal for you.

One of the many great things about AA is that we can share our feelings with people who understand. We can talk about the most insane things we have done or think about and people nod their heads because they know exactly what it is like.

good points well taken.
And NO, I for sure know he doesnt realize that "I cant have just a couple" like he can.

I'm sure the whole conversation with him is gonna wizz me off (because I will take it like he doesn't care) but that's just the argumentative drunk acting up in me.

I know he cares and loves me or he wouldn't have put up with a drunk for 28 years.


I will take my lap top with me :)

Hi Din,

You are doing well to recognise that you may not be comfortable with the fact that he doesn't fully emphasise or understand.

If you find your emotions overwhelming, taking the laptop is a great plan to keep in touch.

Have you learned the Serenity Prayer yet? That can help, particularly if you are stuck in the car with him and it all gets too much.

update
 

so, as I said I would.....I mustered up the chuz to bring it up.
I told him I was a lil disappointed that he hadnt said anything....his reply was "I dont know what you want me to say?"
hmmmmm
then he says, "no you're doin good" (not another word about it after that)
40 miles later (I decided to read more of my under the influence book)
I decide (that bottle of mist is still at the condo, I HAVE to get this out in the open)
so I bring it up again with.."I guess I would like a little support once in a while"....he gives my leg a lil grab (still says nothing)

I tell him....I dont want to just quit for a while.......I want to quit for GOOD
WOW....had his attention then! (apparently you were right.....the for good part needed to be said)

I proceeded IN TEARS to tell him.....It would never change (the way I drank)it would always be the same (and before he could go into the "just monitor yourself" gig) I informed him I couldnt drink like him....never could......NEVER would be able to.......wished I could, but I have unfortunately (yes I said that word) came to realize all this.
then I quickly realized my verbiage and changed it and told him NO, not Unfortunately......but more FORTUNATELY I have finally came to the realization. Proceeded with I didnt fully understand it all yet......but am learning.

WOW! what a weight lifted off me..........

I only hope and pray the open communication stays open and he tries to back and support me as much as he is capable of giving.

and yes..I told him he would have to deal with getting the booze far away from me,and making sure there would be none there the next tim we came up.

I am having a diet Ruby red grapefruit spritzer in front of our fireplace..and feel pretty solid!

thanks to each of you for the words and support

and Yes I know the serenity prayer, and say it often

Din

That's fantastic, Din. That's a huge step to take. Perhaps now he will understand a little more where you are coming from. Also by telling him you are giving up for good, you open him up to saying something if you go near the booze again.....which is not a bad thing.

What you do have to bear in mind, though, is although you would like support from him, he cannot do it for you. Only the Power greater than you (which is not him) can do it for you.

Enjoy your sober weekend and I am glad you are using the Serenity Prayer. :)

Day 20, I'm hanging in there. The only support I am using is SR.

I've been sick with a fever the past few days, I slept weird on my neck one night and it is killing me now... so in general right now I feel like crap.

At least it isn't from drinking.

trust me.........of all the things I dont know.......that isnt one of them.
probably for the first time in my life, I have decided I dont want to be "the driver" I know where my map heads........been there, done that...AINT DOIN IT TOMORROW

I'll let God drive, and just trust that the destination is meant to be for me :)