Kata-my ex worked so freakimg hard to lie, cover up, hide, blame and excuse....and of course, to drink. If he worked that hard at anything else in his life, well....he would actually be a responsible grown to human being!

How about a quack by proxy?

I was on a jury for a DUI trial and the bartender at the defendent's club testified he had consumed at least eight shots in about 90 minutes before driving away.

The defense attorney got some medical expert witness up there claiming that the defendant couldn't have been driving under the influence because he couldn't have metabolized it that fast. So okay, he DRANK it, but he wasn't DRUNK. Yet. Quack.

We found him guilty, and the judge actually came in to thank us, because this was his fifth DUI charge (which they can't tell you during the trial) and he had weaseled out of most of them. Her exact words, "Now I can put him in jail and get him off the road before he kills somebody."

Forourgirls, yup, mine has an incredible work ethic when it comes to his alcoholic carreer! If only that energy and those "efforts" were spent on working on himself. Oh well, he's happy to invest all that in digging a deeper hole. Personaly, I will dedicated my time and energy to something else. You know, building an exciting, happy and fulfilling life!

Oh sweet lord. It's great that this thread was resurrected this week. I'm not sure if there is a specific quack in this whole exchange, but it has an overall quacky feel to it.

Just hung up from a 30 minute phone call with STBXAH. He claims that his jobsite (a huge jobsite--a new high rise) let all trades go at noon because it's Good Friday. He says that when he was walking out to his pickup, he saw a couple of guys from another trade jump a guy from his trade. (Trades are like fraternities...it's pretty ridiculous the rivalries and fighting.) STBXAH interceded, basically got beat up, and one of the other tradesmen pulled a knife. The cops showed up, the other tradesmen ran off, and the cops cuffed STBXAH and tossed him in the paddy wagon. Eventually the cops let him go and told him he would get a ticket in the mail for disturbing the peace, or something like that. He went on and on and on, asking me a bunch of legal questions that I tried to stay very non-committal about because I HAVE NO DESIRE TO GET INVOLVED IN THIS CRAP. I told him to go home, take a shower, and then calm down so he can enjoy his night with DS if he's still up for it. And you know what he's REALLY upset about? What really bothers him is that this guy essentially beat him up. He's mad that he didn't win the fight.

Anyway, I'm proud of how I handled it. This kind of thing is just going to happen more and more often, so it's good that I know I can just keep out of this stuff. Unless he gets another DUI. Then I'm taking him to court to require alcohol monitoring when he has physical custody of DS. But otherwise, I'm staying far, far away from this crap.

Biggest quack ever from my ex: I'm a good guy.
Uh huh.

This is EXACTLY what my partner says. About everything. Honestly, I swear half of my life never really happened. On the plus side, I'm quite proud of my amazing imagination 😧

^ Becca-that's exactly how I feel/felt-like half of my life really didn't happen bc my imagination was so great and created all the falsehoods (bc he said they never happened!). Seems to be another out of the alcoholic playbook of "if I deny I did that, it never happened and I can accuse you of making it up and lying so I have no guilt".

my XAH was gone so much drinking that it was definitely his first job. He worked 9-5, but went down to the neighborhood joint after work and drank for another 6 hours each weeknight and started at 2 pm and went another 12 hours on the weekends.

I am so glad that I am not with him anymore.

Sue

After much complaining about my XABF's lack of contribution to the housework he offered to cook a special dinner one night. I was looking forward to it and bought all the ingredients. At about 6 he took the dog out for a quick walk around the block. Two hours later he had not returned. I knew where to find him, and sure enough he was sitting in a bar, with some new drinking buddies. Furious, I walked in, took the dog, and said I was going home. "I'll be home later, we're talking business" he said. The dinner didn't happen of course. When he eventually came home another few hours later he said that he had to go to bars and pubs because that's where he got all his building work, and work came first!

Ewww. QUAAAAAAACK QUACK QUACK QUACK. Yeah, I don't know how those non-alcoholics even start to get any work.:scorebad

Oh, I heard (and continue to hear) this ALL THE TIME. In fact, just this past Friday, when he called me to tell me about how he was almost ARRESTED for getting into a big fight at work, he actually said "I can't believe they were going to arrest me. I'm a stand-up citizen!"

Pro tip: if you have to walk around constantly crowing about what a "good" or "nice" guy you are, you probably aren't as "good" or "nice" as you think you are.

An evil little quacker jumped into my head the other day.

Me to XABF: Your hands shake in the morning and it scares me!
XABF: No they don't. (as he was shaking uncontrollably.)

:c041:

I am adding mine from my post earlier :P

Is there a reason why you treat our son like a dog? Said by STBXABF on 5/31/16
After calling for my son (in a loving way) to tell him I wanted a hug.

Even when he DOES have money, it is his.
I am ‘greedy’ for asking for money for rent, bills, food, and childcare.
Isn’t it ‘enough’ that he co-exists with me? Those are my feelings/reactions to what he argues when I ask for cash-ola to help with things

It is ‘my fault’ that he isn’t successful.
If I would have listened to him tell me 9 years ago that he didn’t want to be with me, then he would be a different person today.
Says the man who had no job and no vehicle WHEN I met him. Wait, I digress, he did have a 20 hr/week job making $12/hr and him mommy still paid his rent then. All his money was his then too. He didn’t give his mom any unless she strong-armed him. And when he lost his home that his mom was paying for, who did he live with them. He always treated me like **** and like he didn’t want to be with me even when he was living in my house. He would make fun of me with others in the house.

Three days ago my ex decided he needed to know if I've had sex with anyone since our divorce. So he could sleep. So he'd know. So he could move on. :omfg:

This is a quack because a) it came in the form of 65 text messages that were all over the map. In less than 9 hours. b) We've been divorced for 6+ YEARS. Since the beginning we do not spend time together. We do not chat. I correspond briefly about kids and that is all. Even that is once a month and often less. He lives hours and hours away. There is absolutely nothing that would lead him to think it isn't over. Nothing I could say or do at this point would effect the crazy in his head. c) he's actually sober now.

And had I chose to disclose information to him there is a 110% chance that it would be twisted and used against me in another onslaught of messages at some future point. And I did not. I responded a total of 4 times. Then I went to bed - which didn't deter him.

I was so heartbroken that he could not find sobriety to keep his family together and work towards all our dreams. In hindsight this was an absolute gift to me. He is not OK as a sober person.

Wow - what a great reminder that that 1 pesky little thing (active alcoholism) just might not be the fix-all to "our perfect soul mate style relationship (except for that 1 thing.)"

Tonight, in mediation, while explaining how angry he is that I filed a motion for sole custody or continued sobriety monitoring:

"I used to have a problem with alcohol but I took steps to take care of it."

Two weeks ago he was so hungover he was an hour and a half late to a meeting; a few weeks before that he was mugged while "extremely intoxicated," according to the police report.

A and I have been seeing each other again since being separated for 6 months (during which he was supposedly active in recovery. He relapsed last week, and since then I've been finding Gatorade bottles filled with mostly vodka hidden around the house. My A, who is visibly intoxicated but denying he has been drinking, assures me "if I would have known they were there, I would have drank them!"

Um.

I'm pretty sure you're drinking them, buddy.

Sooo....this one is a codie quack. I know them well....many codie quacks were in my brain's "how to get through life" handbook for a long, long time.

A friend of mine is dating an addict. She's in addict hell - her stories trigger me. *shudder*. I told her about books I read that helped me and she seemed interested so I ordered her The language of letting go and Codependent no more.

She read the first chapter of Codependent no More and called me to tell me -

"OMG thank you so much for the book! This is exactly how codependent my ABF is - I have to bring him lunch on the job site every day or he won't eat!"

Ahh, we codies - we read Codependent no More and decide the alcoholic is a codie.

Several months ago, I got a new car. My wife said, "Well, I can buy all the wine I want because I like wine, and you like you new car". Wow. Then she got a new car with more bells and whistles than mine, so I said, "You can give up the wine because that was your happiness because of my new car, but your car is nicer now." I know, I should have just dropped it.

Then, last week when she came home with 3 more bottles and I had this incredulous look, she said, Well, you went and played golf, so I can buy all the wine I want!". Again, wow. Yeah, I subbed and spent $5 on golf, and she brought home $40 in wine that was gone in 4 days.

Oh COD-I so remember those conversations. Ugh.