I gotcha, I gotcha! ^^

For mine it was:

I don't have a problem, I've never gotten a DUI.

I have to drink when I go to company functions, or else I get hassled by the guys.

And yes I got the same, I have never missed work because of drinking and many of the others posted here.

Just got through this thread, it's great! I'll add a couple of mine to bump this back up for some laughs. :)

Me: (sees the empty fifth of rum in the recycle bin) You drank THE WHOLE THING already?? You just bought that on your way home from work yesterday!
AP: No, I drank a quarter of it, then realized that it was making me sick and dumped the rest down the sink.
Me: Uh...okay. :rolleyes:

Then the time AP made a big show out of taking an almost full bottle of pills out to the trash and dumping them in. "See, I'm doing this for you!" And then I go to give the kids their melatonin for the night and the brand new bottle I just bought was suspiciously almost empty. :tired:

I think my exs biggest quacks were the following: "I'm sorry, I'll never do that again" and "I'm never drinking again". I think I heard those two things more than "I love you" in my marriage. Which now I think was a quack as well. Quack!

To add some more from my ex: "just because he (family member of his) has two DUIs and still drinks, doesn't mean he's an alcoholic", "wait, that bottle was from a long time ago....that's not recent", "I didn't fall because I was drunk-I'm not drunk damnit-it's an old football injury-you know that, my knee gives out", and my favorite of all time "I don't have a drinking problem, you are the problem bc you have a problem with my drinking". Oh joy-am I glad to be out of that mess. Denial was the family mantra.

OMG, I have heard both of those exact statements more than once too!

There is also another good thread. Think it's entitled "What normies wouldn't know".

I think I posted there about our bingo game that we had growing up.

We had a suspended ceiling in the basement. There were 3 of us. We all picked a ceiling tile. The one that won was either the most beer cans that fell out of that ceiling tile, or the one that hit the jackpot and found the empty bottle of scotch.

I recalled another today: as we were leaving my sisters wedding my then husband gushes to older friends of mine, "I'm a lucky guy-she keeps me sane" or something like that-I don't have my journal in front of me right now. Cut to a couple hours later after he "went to get a hamburger" at 11pm at night that took over an hour-he tells me how much I "fu**ing suck" as I'm curled up with my 5 year old bc I wouldn't make out with him as he slobbered all over me and tried to touch me while I was holding our daughter. Next morning was even better: told me he was sleepwalking and that's why I woke up to him pushing our baby girls crib around the room while she was whaling and he was mumbling something about finding his keys and cigarettes. He wasn't drunk, damnit! Uh huh. Sleepwalking. Yep.

I'm relatively out of QUACKERS since going NC a couple months ago, but this was from a friend around that time and popped into my head today.

In early January, I met a buddy for dinner and a beer. Well, I had a beer, he had several over the course of an hour dinner. He let me know he had "a few" before dinner also. I didn't realize how much he drank - we see eachother sporadically, but his mom is fighting cancer and was when my dad was too, so we had a lot to talk about regarding the hospital life.

I had been open in the past with said friend about XABF's drinking and the problems in our relationship because of it. During dinner, an the drunker he got, he started letting me know that he was getting very concerned with his own drinking. It was causing problems for him at home, and with work, and he was worried he was developing anger issues, and feeling like he wanted to drink all the time. I didn't say much during that conversation - except that "if you are feeling like it's becoming a problem, why not stop for a while and see what happens?"

I drove him home that night and poured him into his moms apartment.

The next morning he called me to apologize saying.....

"I didn't mean ANYTHING I said last night, I'm not worried about my drinking, it doesn't cause me problems, I was just really really drunk and rambling on."

Me - "got it, take care man"

:tapedshut

^ sounds like my ex. Sheesh.

FOG - It's so sad - I used to find the quackers thread so hilarious, now it just breaks ma heart.

Maybe one day when I'm further away from the memories of alcoholism in my life, I can laugh about it again....but today, and with the last 5 years of education regarding addiction, and realizing that I chose to surround myself with sick people - because I was so sick...I feel like I took the red pill in the Matrix, and I wish I would have taken the blue one :)

I was told a couple of weeks ago, after a family lunch event "They were all drinking great wine but I didn´t because gentlemen don´t drink in the daytime."
Me: "I´ve seen you drink many times during the day"
Him: "That´s different, that´s only because you are there, your presence is always cause for celebration so then I make an exception."
Yeah, right!
And the "gentleman" mask was charming in the beginning but proved to be a complete quack.

Wow, that one should come with a bucket and a shovel. Classic!

Firebolt-yes, if it wasn't so sad, it would be funny.

Me too. Recently I was reading some articles on alcoholic psychosis and it was really disturbing. There is a great possibility that my ex truly believed in some of the things he said to me, because after all, he was so detached from reality and life itself. His quacks were something like a comic relief in the tragedy of alcoholism.

Got a good quack last night.

We got a couple of inches of snow last night, but it came down pretty quickly, right during rush hour. The roads weren't horrible, but they weren't great. I was scheduled to drive about 40 miles to pick up my daughters, and STBXAH (who is not their father) called me to complain about me having to drive down to get them. I offered to bring DS to his place for the evening so DS wouldn't have to make the potentially iffy drive (side note: by the time I actually left the roads were totally clear and fine). He wouldn't give me an answer on that, and he asked me if I would text him when we got home. I told him I would be happy to do that, and that I would text him when I made it to the meeting place, too, if it would make him feel better.

STBXAH responded "I don't need you to make me feel better about myself! I haven't felt good about myself in five years!"

Huh? Since when were we talking about making him feel better ABOUT HIMSELF? We were talking about making him feel better about me being out on the road with DS. But everything is about STBXAH, so of course he interpreted it as me trying to make him feel better about himself. I could tell during the course of the phone call that he had been drinking, although he wasn't totally blotto. He made a big production of telling me that he actually worked all day (unusual, since it rained all day before it turned to snow during rush hour--typically they get sent home when it's raining because he works in a dangerous construction trade), which in the past was a sign that he was trying to cover up the fact that he'd been sitting in a bar all day. It might still be a sign of that, but you know what? I don't care anymore.

Wisconsin, if your STBXAH is anything like my XABF, then he might very well have been working all day. As the fucktard doesn't work in an office environment (or at all at the moment) he call his favorite bar the Office. Yes, you read that right. The Office, as in "what am I doing right now? Well I'm at the Office"

I mean when you look at it that way, it makes sense to call it his office, he's an A, so drinking really is his job description.

That was my exs job as well. He excelled at it.

So that's how my bedroom became his home office!

One thing is for sure, we can never say that they aren't hardworkers...