Thank you. I don’t even know anymore. :( I really think my mental instability is the cause of all of this. In fact, I know it. If anyone disagrees, no reason to tell me, because I won’t believe you and instead disagree. Agree to disagree. I’ve just gotten a new prescription for 120mg prozac, 10mg Ritalin, and .25 xanax. Apparently, I have depression, OCD, anxiety, and ADHD. While no one has ever named all 4 things to me, I am in no way surprised and I’ve known it all along.

It feels great to get what I think is a logical diagnosis. I actually have a twin sister. I’ve been able to witness my behavior throughout life alongside her. I can see all the times I’ve struggled that a healthy person would not have, that she hasn’t. She is stability personified.

Anyway, I’ve been in a medical, controlled environment for the past week, but I am now home. So I’m considering this my day one, since it is my day one alone. Anyway. That’s the update.

Glad to hear you are getting some help and a diagnosis Sohard. I am assuming the docs who prescribed the Xanax are aware of your addiction issues? Benzo's are basically alcohol in a pill form for us, so please be careful.

Also wondering if you have any plans for therapy in addition to the meds? I have been diagnosed with Anxiety and OCD myself, and the meds really don't fix the problem - they just take the symptoms down a notch or two. I hope you can get some help to get after the root of the problems themselves - because it's definitely possible. Please be careful. .gotta be honest that the mix of meds you are on sounds scary.

Ritalin and Xanax both have potential for addiction and the Prozac dose you are on is very high, but the primary job of the psychiatrist is to keep people safe, and sometimes these high doses are necessary. My eldest was on high doses of prozac and seroquel for awhile and is no longer on them. They will dose high when they are concerned about self harm or harm to others but over time the dosing can change.

Ongoing counseling esp with high dosing of meds is a given, so keep your appointments and keep md well informed of your substance abuse, that has to be taken into account and weighed against medicating you to keep you safe.

Take care of yourself sohard, and be sure to reach out to people for support.

just sending good wishes on your first day home, Sohard.

I believe this ability to Re-cognize your own behavior and your desire to do it is very useful. It has been for me. In the courtroom of your own mind, if there’s no one to stand witness to yourself, there’s not much useful information for you to make judgement upon your own behavior. Keep standing witness to yourself. You know the difference between right and wrong. Remember the four months of temporary abstinence.

Day 4
 

Day 4 and feeling strong, thank god. I move Tuesday. That is a strong motivation. I want a fresh start in a city I love, and it will all have been for nothing if I start drinking. So, I won’t.

Glad to see you, sohard. Happy to hear you're feeling strong too!

Congrats on Day4 Sohard and good luck for a safe move. Don't let up on your recovery work after you move, our addiction travels well unfortunately.

Iam looking for that wizard too

Not far to look. The wizard is you.

Sohard, I agree sobriety is a great start in a new city. Good job on day 4.

How was your Day 5, SoHard? Please know that we are thinking of you and wishing you all the best! Keep coming back here for support, inspiration and encouragement. I have been doing just that for the past 9-10 days and happy to report that it has helped me in many ways to get to Day 9 sober and loving every minute of it. Find what works for you and remember that you are not alone. Good luck with moving on Tuesday! :grouphug:

Hi Sohard (at your new home as of yesterday),

What you wrote above five days ago (and I highlighted in blue) can be interpreted as a pledge of permanent abstinence. I hope that is how you meant it. I know moving can be a big chore, but you are upgrading your life. Enjoy your new home and new job as a common teetotaler.

GT

Sohard,

I've been wondering how you're doing.

Check in when you can & I hope you're well.