there must be another way, im sorry for your troubles, i feel so angry and sad i want to go and fight someone, we cant do that, your mum is in heaven now, i do have faith, and shes asleep, in peace, she is x

Good Morning all.

Found this on Wikipedia:

"Dust in the Wind" was one of Kansas' first acoustic tracks; its slow melancholy melody and philosophical lyrics differ from their other hits such as "Carry On Wayward Son" and "Point of Know Return". A meditation on mortality and the inevitability of death, the lyrical theme bears a striking resemblance to the well-known biblical passage Genesis 3:19 ("...for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."), as well as to the famous opening lines of the Japanese war epic The Tale of the Heike ("...the mighty fall at last, and they are as dust before the wind."), but the actual inspiration was from a book of Native American poetry, which includes the line "for all we are is dust in the wind."[2] Also, the 1973 song "Karn Evil 9 (3rd Impression)" by Emerson, Lake & Palmer has repeated 'dust' and 'wind' themes, and uses exactly the same phrase "dust in the wind".

I take this song not as depressing at all. I take it as an acceptance of my mortality. As a tool to help me with my humility. I believe humility is key to accepting a Higher Power; something I need to survive... and thrive.

I use to think I was always the smartest person in the room too cow. I started to come out of it in college. I REALLY came out of it during my 23 year stint designing hardware, software and managing other folks who did at Bell Laboratories here in NJ. I found there are a LOT of people who are a LOT smarter than me. I gravitated towards some of the smarter ones and many of them towards me.

I learned a lot from all of them. Not enough to save me from the torture I put myself and family through the last few years but I accept I'm just dust now better than before. I've started recontacting my old friends and am finding we're pretty much picking up (no pun intended) right where we left off. They had nothing to do with my getting sidetracked in life so::c006:

Robby, coincidentally (maybe?) I just saw "your movie" a few days ago when it came on broadcast TV. One of my favorites from waaaay back. Yep, gotta watch out for those creatures from the id; scary suckers!

Oops almost forgot. I don't think I've shamelessly plugged "my thread" here yet so here goes:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...where-god.html

What?! C'mon..Coke drinkers rulez while Pepsi (insert nice word here) drools... and besides, Pepsi is totally sweetened for girlz always anyways, yeah? lol. Now we can have hot topic of useless gender wars!! Awesome. :)

I'm not sure free will is difficult in itself to own and practice in our lives. I do think more often than not individuals sign onto herd mentality and eschew their inherited rights to empowerment, and herein lies a serious challenge to later exercise their free choice muscles, if you will. Responsibility comes hand-in-hand along with all the options of implementing free choices. Life teaches us we can't have everything we want when we want it, although we can attempt to bypass these limits by changing out the game rules to suit our own purposes. Addicted persons are adept at such tactics as moving the goal posts to suit our own heady glorified purposes. Intoxication is a ready playground for such games, goes without saying. Alcohol and drugs are abused for effect, and nothing but effect. With enough abuse, escape into that intoxicated world becomes certain, and now fantasy can come play too and from here the rule playbook goes out the window. When we live in our heads we run the show for better or worse its on us thereafter. This always brings epic failure eventually since the world is much too big to fit into any ones own headspace...

I think happiness and sadness exists philosophically and not just within the chemical soup of our hardwired brains. I'm agnostic in my appreciation of the spirit limits of human individuals.

Besides all that whatever above, you is totally awesome Cow.

Wow; I missed so much by going to sleep "early" last night - been battling a few viruses going around "these parts"; totally draining.

Lots of emotions, opinions, beliefs, and expressions of experiences to absorb here. Cow and Friends of Cow are deep thinkers, highly perceptive and very brainiacky. I am in awe of al of you.

Managing and resolving our respective "realities" is a complex process; our addictions only further complicate those realities. I am thankful we have each other to help us work through the processes.

Good luck with the viruses SoberLeigh. My daughter just got over one. I'm too old and toughened to be bothered by them much anymore although I guess that'll change someday, lol.

Thanks, dSober. Whenever it gets to my lungs, I am tipped over the edge and become fatigued so easily.

Have a strong and beautiful day.

I missed a lot too, SL, but that's just as well, because my contributions to inquiries about god & meaning are generally nil or obnoxious. I can't do the spiritual or even much on the mental plane these days but I'm very interested in how people live.

Cow, do you eat breakfast? What? I have breakfast phases: I did 1/4 of a hard roll toasted with peanut butter for a while, then hummus and 1/4 pita, now 2 TBS of plain yogurt with some Kashi cereal. I won't tell you the intoxicating substances I used to enable me to stomach anything at all, as that will just trigger everyone.

I'm also interested in how people dress. Most people in Manhattan dress like schlubs. Some dress very well indeed. Some dress very very expensively, but very badly. I'd like people to wear uniforms more than they do.

Two more things: I have a disgusting, oozing, highly contagious, and painful eye infection. I look like Quasimodo on a bad day and feel like a highly sensitive leper. Also, I don't drink soda because the fizzies overwhelm me, but I used to be an RC person. Does that make me Switzerland in the gender/soda wars, or a hermaphrodite?

Just sent you a PM regarding NYC courage.

:c014:

I am a casual dresser (but not slobby) but I do dress-up a bit for things like a nice restaurant, church, or the theatre. I am kind of a Chico's girl and like a little bit of funk and, sometimes, glitz, but always in a casual way. Although I did muster "formality" for my children's weddings, I usually feel out of place while attending black- tie events; I guess it is my aversion to "plastic".

P.S. Is White Rock soda still around? Drank it a lot as a kid but haven't seen it since then.

I'm with you SL; I hate wearing ties and really prefer sandals or sneakers on my hooves (that was for Cow :rotate:).

Really? Raw steak? I'm intrigued. What cut, how much, and just plain like tearing at it with your teeth, or how?

I want different uniforms so I can tell from a distance what to expect from someone. The problem in the city is that you actually come in contact, close physical proximity, with many, many people every day. Some way to sort people would be helpful for those of us with limited mental capacity. However, each individual's sorting rule would be different, requiring different uniforms for the eye of each beholder. So unless this universe is all my mental construct (which given the way things are going would indicate I'm more screwed up than I think I am), 'tis not to be.

Yes, I'm not into spiritual navel gazing either so we're on the same page there. Still though, back to talking about recovery from drinking requires choices be made, and these made choices require real time exercise of our free will, otherwise just robotic Borg thing happens and recovery is shelved.

Spiritual awareness is not required for successful lifelong abstinence. Present awareness of our addiction imposed limitations and responsibilities though is a requirement for empowering a sustained recovery from such limitations. Nothing changes if nothing changes...

Its better if we have a conversation re: addiction realities then if we get all philosophic about free will in spiritualism. I'm not selling anything here, and I realize the (relative) depth of your anhedonia as best I can, Cow. I think people can choose to go into stealth mode and smoke 'n mirror themselves into a toleration of miserable comfort as long as the addiction is kept fed, no?

I dress in black. Always. It is just easier that way.

RC used to be a special treat for us. Loved the way it tasted. We were Shasta people. :)

Hope your eye feels better soon!
:)

I wear an abundance of black also, Olive, but sometimes I like to funk the ebony up a bit with some turquoise jewelry or bright chunky/slouchy sweater of some sort.

OK olive, SL, which one of you is really Johnny Cash?

:c029:

We'll never tell, will we Olive?!