Originally Posted by
sunday9 
I can relate to so much in this thread. After many years together my ABF recently left me. Kaya what your A said is kinda what my A tried to tell me. I couldn’t hear it thru my anger and pain. That I stole his peace the drinking temporarily gave him. My anger was pushing him away. I get it now. I would prepare for the worst before he opened the first of 20 beers. He was a nice guy until about the 10th beer. I was just exhausted from dealing with this almost daily. I knew it would be a long insane night that he and the beer controlled. But that was going to happen anyway. My anger made it worse or gave him reason to blame me. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Daily lied to and let down. So anger was maybe all I had. My anger was full of love for him and hope for us if that makes sense. I was always there for him. kept him out of trouble. Put up with his shenanigans. My friends never understood why I didn’t kick him out. Because I knew how empty my life would without him. He found a way out. I think he is happy and sober now with true love gf and all he ever wanted…. just not with me. And I can’t stop crying either.
Sunday... I am so sorry you are going through this. I am at the point in my journey where I know that I tried my best. I don't believe him when he says that me being angry made it worse. I also don't believe he is sober or happy or with the love of his life. I think he is and will always be "happy" on the outside while hiding a dark secret on the inside. I am sure his ex wife before me would have said the same thing about me when him and I first met... she would have thought oh hes happy... and we were until we weren't. Once he couldn't hide the level of drinking from me anymore the roller coaster began and that was over 6 years ago. I don't put much weight into him or his thoughts or what he says anymore. Good or bad... his feelings and thoughts change with the wind and it has nothing to do with being in love with someone new.. it has to do with the level of drinking he is doing. That is the only contender and until he has real sobriety anything he says does not matter...Trust me your exAB is not happy and in love... Active alcoholics don't have relationships.. they take prisioners.... And if your exAB was drinking 20 beers a day it is impossible he just "got sober" and fell in love. Anyone consuming that amount of alcohol is running fast from some internal messy emotions... it takes a long time to become a loving partner...