Originally Posted by
2getheryetalone 
So true and I suppose it's worded weird. I said it to him I would not want to have another child if he drinks because that's what I'm truly thinking, not using it as a threat so that he knows where I stand. I know enough that threats don't work. I appreciate the feedback! I don't expect him to quit drinking. I was curious if anyone just stuck it out with an alcoholic and how it ended up.
Well my Mother stuck it out for 20 plus years with 3 children. He was still drinking when she left. Alcoholics don't get sober for other people, they get sober when they are ready to (for themselves) and not a moment before. You have zero control over this. You didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's)
Having an alcoholic parent is a really dysfunctional thing for a child. It affects them long after they have left home (in a nutshell - you can search Adult children of alcoholics for more info on that).
If you read around the forum you will find many threads where the poster has children. There are very (very) few stories where the sober partner has stayed with an active alcoholic partner and it turned out well (in fact I can't think of any). A couple where they stayed after the alcoholic sought treatment and was successful. You can't have a real, deep, relationship with an active alcoholic. There are many stories here of the damage it is doing to the children.
If you see a post from someone whose story you want to view from the beginning of them posting:
- Click on the person's username, above where their avatar is or would be
- Choose - View public profile
- Once there click on the Statistics tab to choose either Find all posts by or Find all threads started by.
A quicker shortcut is you can just view all posts by clicking on their name and choosing that from the drop down.
You might find this posters story relatable:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-problems.html (Marriage Problems vs Addiction Problems)