trailmix

Hi Wildhorses, what a terrible and tough situation to be in.

He is an addict and he wants to use drugs. He wants to use drugs more than anything it would seem, that's kind of how addiction works.

In my opinion your focus is on the wrong person here. He is a grown man and can look after himself. Your child is not and your new child will not be. That should be your focus, you and them.

So the question then becomes, what is good for them and for you? I doubt that living with an addict will be your answer.

I'm not suggesting you need to leave him for all time or anything, you know your situation and you will decide what you want to do in the long run but for now, what is your best course of action? A separation perhaps? Perhaps he needs to leave the household until he has been sober for X amount of time - say 6 months minimum and be seeking some kind of treatment, be that Al-Anon or an inpatient or outpatient therapy.

No need to make decisions about divorce right now. Take your time, make a plan of action for now, protect your children and yourself. Some time away from this drama will help you clear your head and make clearer decisions.

You might find these previous posts helpful to read (from the stickies section at the top of the Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum):

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)

Also these articles are really good too:

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/A..._Lies_Rel.html