Rose......Welcome!
You might begin by reading in our extensive library of excellent articles on alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones. We have collected over 100 articles....enough for you to read and digest one every single day....
Here is a convenient link...….(they are also in the stickies at the top of the main page).
Knowledge is power.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
You might also like ate classic book that is recommended, frequently, around here....
"Co-dependent No More".
Face to face meetings in alanon will help you, also....
You are right....using words as weapons and continue to doing things that hurt the family and loved ones is not part of a healthy home....especially with children in the home. If that is happening...damage is already being done.....