MarieLouise......the following book is a very thorough explanation of the biology behind the alcoholic's brain. What actually happens within the brain...what we frequently refer to as the "alcoholic voice". The one that talks to them, 24/7.....
this particular book goes into more depth than the usual, brief articles that summarize such material.
Perhaps, this will help to answer your questions about some of the alcoholic behaviors.....
It is "The Addicted Brain"....by, Michael Kuhar....You can get it o n amazon,at a cheaper rate if you get a used one.
You can, also read the reviews of the book, on there.......
You can also read about the effects of alcoholism on the loved ones....here, in our own library of excellent articles....there are more than one hundred...enough for you to read and digest one every single day....lol.......
Here is the link to our library....(also contained in the stickies at the top of the threads),,,,
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
***I believe that the more k knowledge that you have...the less you may torture yourself with questions of blame and guilt...for both you and him......
You need to put your soul to rest...because you have a human being to raise, now.....regardless o how it came about....so you will need to put the past behind you......
You will need your serenity and peace in order to be the best mother that you can be and the best Captain of your own ship......