pkkp....I agree with what Maudcat has just said....
So, I will underline it a bit.....
first of all...I am giving you a direct link to our extensive library of excellent articles on alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones....(contained in the "stickies" at the top of this forum). There are enough for you to read one every single day. There is sooo much for you to learn.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
I suggest that you get to an alanon meeting as soon as possible. This will help you enormously to sort yourself out and give you the support that you are so badly needing.....
I hope that you will keep reading and keep posting....there is a lot of help here for those who want it....