Hello and welcome back!! I have felt many of the exact same things in the past when I was attempting to moderate alcohol, it never worked, and I always ended up back to drinking way more than I should have.
You can bounce back from this though, and it sounds like you have the beginnings of a good plan. I am posting a few other threads you might find useful. I'm not sure if you have been part of the monthly classes in the past, but they are really helpful. Also, the 24 hour thread is a great place to check in each day, and meet an incredible group of supportive people.
Looking forward to seeing you on SR!
December Class 2017
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ad-pt-1-a.html
Link about Recovery Plans
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
24 Hour Thread
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-321-a.html (24 Hour Recovery Connection Part 321)
What is a Recovery Plan
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
Holiday Survival Guide
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ers-2-0-a.html (Thanksgiving and Xmas Survival Guide vers 2.0)