Originally Posted by
HappyGoLucky1 
Although I agree that I'm not quite there yet I find your words of wisdom very easy to relate too. I realise that when I've spent all my money and start feeling down about myself I'm able to find the motivation for temporary abstinence and moderation, the problem is when I pull myself back out of the hole I lose that willpower and the self destructive cycle starts again. I have been through just a few of these cycles and need to learn to stick to a plan when times are good, I guess that's the hardest part for me at the moment.
This is the sick psycho carousel ride I was trapped on too. Hardly ever drink but when I do/did it was usually to get drunk. I like to party 'alot'. It is so much fun!! Until I peak at the buzzed point. Then it's pathetic and awful. I never knew I could have just as much fun and craziness without the poison. I'm still me! I am still a rocker. I still cuss. I still make mistakes. I just don't put that poison in my body anymore. God the hangovers. F&*# that.
My cycle.. Do real good at work and home. Reward self with getting plowed. Make dumb decision. Be hungover. Usually for few days.
REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT!!
Didn't reach the drink everyday... Thank God because addiction is progressive and eventually it gets worse.
I tried Moderation Management. It works great until it doesn't. lol We are chasing the dragon my friend. Keep chasing, you'll eventually get worn out.
Try the real you out for a while without getting fuked up. It's worth it. Doesn't happen overnight. I still have massive urges. I get so angry when they come on strong. It's hard. Not going to lie. But it's worth it.