Originally Posted by
Poppet35 
That sounds truly crazy. I see your point. Ride it out to get through this. She keeps telling me I'm not fighting for the relationship and that I don't care it's over and am i really going to just let her walk awy but then when I do try and fight for it and explain myself and listen and try and understand her point of view it makes no difference. I sit wondering what the point of all the conversations are if it's over and nothing I do or can say will change it. I don't get why she wants to go over stuff.
It's true: it makes no difference.
Based upon her ACTIONS, what she wants - what she REALLY wants - is to just keep dancing. To just continue on with things exactly as they are. Does it make sense? No. But you know what? She is an addict. Addiction is not a logical condition.
Your option here is to accept that she does not want things to get better. There is no magic formula. Once you accept that, a world of other options opens up to you. Most of them will not include her, but many of them are destined to be wonderful. What you have now? Is destined to stay exactly the same.
Sometimes we want that, because it is familiar or because we secretly think we're the worst person in the world and don't deserve better. We call it hope, but it is the exact opposite. It's giving up and settling for no better than what you have.