Originally Posted by
Aaron237 
I have successfully detoxed off of alcohol and benzodiazepines. However, I most certainly was using these substances to escape from reality. Upon becoming sober I now need to deal with reality, and perhaps I now realize why so many addicts relapse, as one becomes acutely aware of how much damage addiction has done to his/her life.
I'm 27, single, 50-100 lbs overweight, and live with my parents. I had a normal BMI prior to my alcohol abuse. I see a psychiatrist every two weeks, and I'm currently on an SSRI for depression / anxiety. What hurts the most is I've alienated so many people due to my drinking that I have no friends really. Many of them are off married/engaged with careers and families, etc.
I perseverate on the latter thoughts, whether they be true or not, all day long. In the past I would go to the liquor store or pop a xanax, but this is not an option anymore: it can't be. AA helps a lot, and I'm grateful for its existence. However, I've found that I still have a lot of free time, which leads to continued ruminations and depressive thoughts.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation subsequent to getting off of alcohol?
Yes I've been in an a similar situation! I joined AA when I was 18 yrs old. But I would relapse all the time all through my twenties until I finally sobered up for good at 29 yrs old!
Throughout that time span I didn't hold jobs for too long. I saw a psychiatrist every week for depression. Relationships were hurt due to my drinking and instability. Was on anti-depressants. Went back to school but it never lasted too long. Life seemed hopeless!
But one thing I had going for me is I continued to give AA meetings a try during this time span even while going through all this crap!
And I got on my knees and prayed every morning asking God for help that one day I would get sober and also to bring the right woman into my life!
I'm now 53 yrs old. I've been sober for 24 years. I got married to a wonderful woman towards the end of my drinking and was a big contributor in me deciding to quit drinking for good or else I would lose that marriage!
My advice is continue with the AA meetings! Staying sober has got to be the most important thing in your life! Do steps 1-8 prior to actually making amends, especially steps 4 and 5 (inventory and sharing that with your sponsor)!
Then you will be ready to make the amends with some sobriety and a good foundation under your belt!