Life after Alcohol
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
We learn to live sober (we had already lost many friends and there will be time to learn to be a friend soon enough!), then we begin to learn what we like and don't like and we get hobbies and activities and we learn to be a friend and we will have friends, just give time time!
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I turned 32 in rehab... 
That was a very, very low point for me. I'd been fired from a really good job. Embarrassed myself in front of friends and other people in my social circle. Terrified my parents. Got dumped by my boyfriend. It was a mess. After that I moved in with my mother.
I put one foot in front of the other. I got a part time job at a grocery store, and spent the rest of my time building up freelance clients in my regular line of work. Went to AA, posted here, got my head together, worked really, really hard.
I have 11 months and I'm now working at a new, really good and exciting job that will take my career to the next level. The boyfriend wants me back but I'm smart enough not to take him back. My parents and I are in a really good place as I won their trust and respect back through my actions over the last year. My friends are impressed and supportive.
It hasn't been easy and it still isn't easy. But it's light years better than it was. Getting sober and learning how to deal with my discomfort and unhappiness through action instead of escapism have made such a difference in my life. I'm glad you're starting on this path!!
That was a very, very low point for me. I'd been fired from a really good job. Embarrassed myself in front of friends and other people in my social circle. Terrified my parents. Got dumped by my boyfriend. It was a mess. After that I moved in with my mother. I put one foot in front of the other. I got a part time job at a grocery store, and spent the rest of my time building up freelance clients in my regular line of work. Went to AA, posted here, got my head together, worked really, really hard.
I have 11 months and I'm now working at a new, really good and exciting job that will take my career to the next level. The boyfriend wants me back but I'm smart enough not to take him back. My parents and I are in a really good place as I won their trust and respect back through my actions over the last year. My friends are impressed and supportive.
It hasn't been easy and it still isn't easy. But it's light years better than it was. Getting sober and learning how to deal with my discomfort and unhappiness through action instead of escapism have made such a difference in my life. I'm glad you're starting on this path!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 7
Thanks for all the awesome replies.
I realize I have much to do in terms of rectifying my situation. It will take time, but I hope to regain the trust and admiration of my family. Furthermore, I want to continue going to AA (I love the people there) and posting on this forum (I apologize if I post too much!)
I've found my drinking stemmed from a lethal combination of loneliness, social anxiety, and depression. However, loneliness seems to the biggest trigger. I've met some great people in AA, but I'm also looking for other people with whom to spend time. Most of my old friends live elsewhere now and are married, so it's more difficult to see them.
The daytime is so difficult (I'm returning to clinical rotations in 2 weeks so hopefully that will help), knowing most people are at work. Fortunately I haven't had any urge to drink, and I suppose that's one thing going right for me. I just wish I had friends and sober activities for the day. Let me know if anyone has any suggestions.
Aaron
I realize I have much to do in terms of rectifying my situation. It will take time, but I hope to regain the trust and admiration of my family. Furthermore, I want to continue going to AA (I love the people there) and posting on this forum (I apologize if I post too much!)
I've found my drinking stemmed from a lethal combination of loneliness, social anxiety, and depression. However, loneliness seems to the biggest trigger. I've met some great people in AA, but I'm also looking for other people with whom to spend time. Most of my old friends live elsewhere now and are married, so it's more difficult to see them.
The daytime is so difficult (I'm returning to clinical rotations in 2 weeks so hopefully that will help), knowing most people are at work. Fortunately I haven't had any urge to drink, and I suppose that's one thing going right for me. I just wish I had friends and sober activities for the day. Let me know if anyone has any suggestions.
Aaron
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 216
One day at a time! It's overwhelming to think about the future and what needs to be done and what a year should look like. Just try to get through today sober, that should always be the goal.
At 27, you have your whole life ahead of you to live. Many addicts are much older than you are and would only wish to have their youth back and gotten sober sooner. Look on the brighter side. The addiction could easily consume you till you are at old age with a couple failed marriages and children who refuse to see you.
At 27, you have your whole life ahead of you to live. Many addicts are much older than you are and would only wish to have their youth back and gotten sober sooner. Look on the brighter side. The addiction could easily consume you till you are at old age with a couple failed marriages and children who refuse to see you.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
When I was freelancing I joined a coworking space that I could go to during the day, instead of working at home alone. It was a really nice way to get some social time. I chose one that was specifically very community-minded. You might want to look into one if you have studying you could do there, or even a side project to work on?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
Aaron237 yes, I spent a lot of time with alcohol so with it gone there's lots of time to think negative thoughts. That lead me back to drinking.
You need to replace the time you drank with another activities. AA and SR but also other things. Exercise or walks will become a habit if you force yourself to do them for around 30 days. School? Perhaps a hobby?
You need to replace the time you drank with another activities. AA and SR but also other things. Exercise or walks will become a habit if you force yourself to do them for around 30 days. School? Perhaps a hobby?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi Aaron. Just wondering. Have you got a sponsor and started doing recovery work on your one, outside the meetings? For me, that's when I got the most relief.
I second the idea of volunteering. Even if just for friends or family, helping them out a little. Plus, joining different group activities, especially active ones that might help you lose those pounds that are bugging you. Not that the weight is such and issue - it tends to work itself out like most problems as we recover and change our perspective and our habits. Or, maybe some casual work somewhere.
Not that yiu have very long till you're back to studying anyway. I reckon you can get through this .
I second the idea of volunteering. Even if just for friends or family, helping them out a little. Plus, joining different group activities, especially active ones that might help you lose those pounds that are bugging you. Not that the weight is such and issue - it tends to work itself out like most problems as we recover and change our perspective and our habits. Or, maybe some casual work somewhere.
Not that yiu have very long till you're back to studying anyway. I reckon you can get through this .
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,374
Originally Posted by Aaron237 
I have successfully detoxed off of alcohol and benzodiazepines. However, I most certainly was using these substances to escape from reality. Upon becoming sober I now need to deal with reality, and perhaps I now realize why so many addicts relapse, as one becomes acutely aware of how much damage addiction has done to his/her life.
I'm 27, single, 50-100 lbs overweight, and live with my parents. I had a normal BMI prior to my alcohol abuse. I see a psychiatrist every two weeks, and I'm currently on an SSRI for depression / anxiety. What hurts the most is I've alienated so many people due to my drinking that I have no friends really. Many of them are off married/engaged with careers and families, etc.
I perseverate on the latter thoughts, whether they be true or not, all day long. In the past I would go to the liquor store or pop a xanax, but this is not an option anymore: it can't be. AA helps a lot, and I'm grateful for its existence. However, I've found that I still have a lot of free time, which leads to continued ruminations and depressive thoughts.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation subsequent to getting off of alcohol?
I'm 27, single, 50-100 lbs overweight, and live with my parents. I had a normal BMI prior to my alcohol abuse. I see a psychiatrist every two weeks, and I'm currently on an SSRI for depression / anxiety. What hurts the most is I've alienated so many people due to my drinking that I have no friends really. Many of them are off married/engaged with careers and families, etc.
I perseverate on the latter thoughts, whether they be true or not, all day long. In the past I would go to the liquor store or pop a xanax, but this is not an option anymore: it can't be. AA helps a lot, and I'm grateful for its existence. However, I've found that I still have a lot of free time, which leads to continued ruminations and depressive thoughts.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation subsequent to getting off of alcohol?
Throughout that time span I didn't hold jobs for too long. I saw a psychiatrist every week for depression. Relationships were hurt due to my drinking and instability. Was on anti-depressants. Went back to school but it never lasted too long. Life seemed hopeless!
But one thing I had going for me is I continued to give AA meetings a try during this time span even while going through all this crap! And I got on my knees and prayed every morning asking God for help that one day I would get sober and also to bring the right woman into my life!
I'm now 53 yrs old. I've been sober for 24 years. I got married to a wonderful woman towards the end of my drinking and was a big contributor in me deciding to quit drinking for good or else I would lose that marriage!
My advice is continue with the AA meetings! Staying sober has got to be the most important thing in your life! Do steps 1-8 prior to actually making amends, especially steps 4 and 5 (inventory and sharing that with your sponsor)!
Then you will be ready to make the amends with some sobriety and a good foundation under your belt!
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