Welcome ditchingthewine, and welcome back Nerida.
It's really hard in the beginning, but it really will get easier, guys.
I found it helped me to simplify things to basics.
I had a little prayer/mantra that went something like this
I must not drink if I want change.
I can deal with cravings - there's a great list here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
and I can deal with stress and strong emotions, because I know they pass.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html
I know I have support here at SR 24/7, and lots of real life places to find support too.
Things will get better, so long as I commit to change and do not drink.
I can drink...or I can be the person I know I am and I want to be - but not both.
D