Nuudawn

Your post stopped me in my tracks friend. I haven't known where you been at it seems..as I am struggling with my own self absorption in my new again..sobriety.

I only had to go back as far as your last thread. There it was.

You had a year under your belt...the year I yearn for. And it was only yesterday I wondered if my "one year" yearning might land me in hot water when that time rolls around.

All I know is I learned something from my last relapse. I have been primarily a "SR" supported sober person (although I did have counselling last year as well). I know that prior to my relapse last fall I was isolating...I was lonely...I wasn't getting everything I needed from SR..or my readings...and I left myself wide open for relapse both to drinking and a return to a toxic relationship.

I have been toying with a return to AA for awhile now (the thoughts were shocking to me actually)...but I know something was missing from my recovery plan..

People. People I could see, touch and hear. I went to my second meeting last night and was surprised when a woman I had known for a very long time sat down right beside me. I didn't know she was in AA. We had a lovely conversation in the parking lot after in the evening summer breeze.

When I talked to my sister (who has been regularly attending AA for past 4 or so months)..she said...for a lot of people...the parking lot is their favourite part.

I don't know what was missing in your recovery...well, life really..that was missing. All I know is I know that when something is missing...when something isn't working..I have to readjust my sails in new directions. That for me is what I learned from relapse.

We learn and we learn and we learn...

Right here with you Silentrun.

I just read your post again...I REALLY hope I didn't misinterpret it. Did you drink last night??? It doesn't seem so from other responses. Apologies if I got this all wrong.