Originally Posted by
lillamy 
Grieving the love we did have, at one point. Grieving the life he has wasted. Grieving when I see that he's doing the same thing he did when we were married
I know this man. I know the hurt, sad, little boy inside him. My heart aches for him. My heart aches because I couldn't help him. My heart aches because he couldn't help himself. My heart aches because he tried, and he had people who surrounded him, AA-friends and a good sponsor who became a good friend, for a while. And it wasn't enough.
.
This is where I am at now.... only 5 months after he left.
Maybe I should have put it on hold and got on with my life....now I feel paralysed by all the regrets and although I don't love him anymore, I do worry so so much where it will all end for him.
I think he has further to go before he hits the bottom and I'm afraid of that and how it will effect me and the boys....
DAMN THIS DISEASE TO HELL
M.