The irrational delusion never ceases to amaze me. You know which one I'm talking about...
"Even though self-intoxication has caused me considerable trouble in the past, even though I cannot predict how much I will drink before I start, and even though any more drinking might cause considerable trouble in the future, I must nevertheless continue intoxicating myself."
I recall when you first came here, ETA, and I recall your first post. You might want to go back and re-read it:
Originally Posted by
ETA 
Yesterday the man of my dreams told me that if I can't control my drinking I will lose him... I have to stop.
Let me ask you this: why can't you simply consider yourself a
normal person who never drinks?
There is much ado about needing to accept that you're "an alcoholic" (not normal) in recovery circles, and that if you're "an alcoholic," you can't ever drink again, but otherwise you can. That is ********. The fact is, it doesn't matter if you're "an alcoholic" or not. If drinking has caused you intolerable losses, and may cause you intolerable losses if you drink again (in your case, losing the man of your dreams, for starters), wouldn't it be a good idea to never drink?