Originally Posted by Kittyboo

It's hard, it's really hard...we all most definitely understand that.

My XA contacted me a couple of weeks ago. I waited almost a year for that moment. The previous year was one of the most difficult of my life. I did nothing but work on myself and get past so much of the pain.
In this call he apologized for the pain he caused me. And though I want so much to be able to put it all behind me and be friends, I absolutely cannot forget about the way he treated me.
He is still with his girlfriend (the one he went back to after I moved to be close to him)

When I realized that I still have hope that he has changed and there is that part of me that loves him, I also realized that I cannot have him in my life. It brings way too much pain. Pain that I don't need.
With him in my life I would not be allowing myself to really move on.

I too did not want for him to think that I didn't care about him. It's just the opposite. But at the same time, it doesn't matter what he thinks. I know the reasons why I cannot have him in my life, I know that it is not healthy for me. And one of traits of making healthy choices is when you make them because you know it is what is best for you.
And you make that choice in a responsible way, in a respectful way.
How she chooses to react to your choice is completely all her. It has nothing to do with you. We all want to be highly respected and thought well of. What I have found that matters is not what other people think of you, it's what you think of yourself. Your reasons for maintaining contact with her sound completely ego driven. Not trying to be harsh there, just an observation.

Give yourself some breathing space. And for a moment don't ask how she is going to feel if you go no contact, ask how you are going to feel if you stay in contact.