mentallyxeh...I understand where you are coming from, especially on the parenting front. I also have a 1 year old, and before I left, my XAH was constantly on my butt about how I always "got my way" with regards to parenting her. He was irked that I didn't give in and give up breastfeeding for his sake; he hated that I chose to cosleep with her; he disliked that I never let her cry it out...basically, he wanted me to put my child second, and his sexual/emotional needs first. It was definitely a control issue on his part, so when I read your post, I get all ansy.
As for feeling justified in calling you names, that's the talk of an abuser. Every abuser feels justified in dishing it out to his/her victim. Please remember that you do not in any way deserve this kind of abuse!
As for the guilt you feel, I think it's entirely normal, but let me put it into perspective for you: you have asked your H to leave because of his psychological abuse...in this regard and in many others, you two are incompatible. Here's a quote from a post in the classic reading section, from Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus:
"The greatest gift we can give someone is the opportunity to find love. If we are unable to get what we need in a relationship, then we can never give another what he/she needs. We will feel too resentful. Only by leaving him/her will he/she be free to find the love he/she needs."
I really really love this passage, as it helped me tremendously in letting go of my guilt regarding leaving my X.
Here's the link to that post
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-go-guilt.html