keithj

Ha! Not since taking the steps and having a spiritual awakening.

Nah, that's not entirely true. I can get still get my head up my arse on occasion. But I sort of self-right quickly at times like that. I sort of know what to do. And you will develop that also if you go all the way and do the deal. Life still happens, and not always the way I want, but I know how to live it today.

I'm guilty of not really remembering all that well the beginning of sobriety. My brain was kind of shut down for a while. Turned out to be a good thing for me.

I'm loathe to give advice, but, knowing what I know now, I would without further hesitation call one of those people in AA who seems to have a solution. Not one of the cool folks that talks a good game and spouts off simplistic slogans. But one those ones that talks about taking the steps as a means to a spiritual awakening. Don't care what your spiritual leanings are at the moment. It doesn't matter. If you don't know one of those folks yet, then call anybody. It doesn't matter what you talk about. Even better if you talk about them instead of yourself.

I've seen a lot of people get drunk feeling exactly the way you describe. I've seen a lot of people stay sober and on the path of recovery by picking up that phone.