Originally Posted by
Katie09 
I know I need to go and I am going to go, but I am having some misgivings about the place I picked. Their shrink is a big proponent of 12 step programs, and I am not (I have told this place I am anti-AA and they are aware of this). I had to be up front with them to establish appropriate expectations. They say they are not 12 step necessarily yet have four AA meetings a week on the schedule. They say I can do other groups if I don't want to do those groups, yet the schedule doesn't say that. They told me they aren't going to throw me in a room with a pot of coffee, 30 people and a big book, but I have this nagging feeling about the whole thing. The people with whom I've consulted have told me I have to deal with a bit of AA, but this other program I found that looked good to me (no AA and the guy was very nice on the phone and did not diss the place where I am going, while the place I am going to did diss this guy's place and I don't like that) and I'm wondering if I am doing the right thing. If I get there and it turns out to be one very expensive AA meeting, I am NOT going to be a very happy camper. I've been to those places and I may as well save my money.
At any rate, I'd welcome input from anyone who cares to share. I have a lot to accomplish today if I am to leave tomorrow. Am I making the right choice even if AA is involved? This place says I am but I think they'd all say that. I just don't know. Thanks.
I apologize if I misinterpreted this post, but this came from a thread titled "Second guessing my choice of rehab facility". I thought matters were clearly defined in your words above, Katie. Now, you claim knowing nothing about it including 12 step recovery. I find that confusing if not denial. You had a choice between the two and the place that included 12 step was chosen. I guess only you know why it was chosen and as to why you act surprised and deceived.
Now I would like to talk about enabling. Enabling will never help anyone. It will only help keep someone in their illness. It may even help lead them straight to their grave. Others can perceive it as nasty, I perceive it as quite the opposite. Sometimes it takes some recovery time to be able to interpret between enabling and real life experience. I know all about deceit and denial. The two combined with alcoholism are deadly. Not being able to recognize things for what they truly are, I chalk up to inexperience or ignorance.
Now, I know that people tend to not like the word ignorance. I know I didn't until I grew to understand the meaning of it. It isn't meant to be insulting. It simply means not knowing any better or having the experience to being informed, being unaware. You can't know what you don't know. There comes a time when we have to quit blaming everyone else, or in the case, every treatment center that you've encountered as being at fault and take a good look to see how you have contributed or haven't. There in may lie the problem or the solution. It is truly up to you, Katie. You hold the key. You always have, but it appears you keep sabotaging your efforts, which is very common. Try to break away from that.
My intentions are to help only, not hound or give you a hard time. As always, I wish you nothing but the best and success. At the rate you are going, I recognize the behavior of alcoholism that will keep you in your disease. Yes, my wish is to break through the denial and get you into a place of a new way of thinking. That is the only way you can get past this. History will continue to repeat itself if you keep making the same efforts. Time to break out of your comfort zone and try, try, again. However, you have to find some willingness. Problems seemed to arise the moment you arrived to treatment. Tolerance, patience and an open mind work wonders in situations where you feel uncomfortable in your environment. Good luck.