Katie09

I know I need to go and I am going to go, but I am having some misgivings about the place I picked. Their shrink is a big proponent of 12 step programs, and I am not (I have told this place I am anti-AA and they are aware of this). I had to be up front with them to establish appropriate expectations. They say they are not 12 step necessarily yet have four AA meetings a week on the schedule. They say I can do other groups if I don't want to do those groups, yet the schedule doesn't say that. They told me they aren't going to throw me in a room with a pot of coffee, 30 people and a big book, but I have this nagging feeling about the whole thing. The people with whom I've consulted have told me I have to deal with a bit of AA, but this other program I found that looked good to me (no AA and the guy was very nice on the phone and did not diss the place where I am going, while the place I am going to did diss this guy's place and I don't like that) and I'm wondering if I am doing the right thing. If I get there and it turns out to be one very expensive AA meeting, I am NOT going to be a very happy camper. I've been to those places and I may as well save my money.

At any rate, I'd welcome input from anyone who cares to share. I have a lot to accomplish today if I am to leave tomorrow. Am I making the right choice even if AA is involved? This place says I am but I think they'd all say that. I just don't know. Thanks.

least

Just go and get the help you need, no matter how it's presented. I'd think being able to have your animals with you would be a huge attraction. Just go Katie. Stop waffling and just go. Take what you need and leave the rest. Just go get help.

Dee74

um...it's late in the day to realise now this was a 12 step place Katie.
I'm stepping out - I can't add anymore than what others have shared before.

Your entire future is your yr hands.
Read that sentence a few times.

Good luck.
D

Aysha

All I can say katie is I hope you quit draggin your heels here.
Like said. You take what you need and leave the rest.
If anyhting..Get somewhere to get safe from the drink and yourself.
To detox and get a clear head.
I dont have much else to say as I am walking out the door now to go to my treatment place.
I know I have tp get somewhere that I cant pick that phone up and call any drug dealers.
I myself could care less what they are talking about at the moment.
I need to be somewhere I cant call the shots. Because if it were up to me. I wouldnt go and I would still be here renting my van and getting high.
I hope you get it together soon.
I will be thinking of you.

Jomey

Katie, I haven't been around much, but I have skimmed through some of your other threads and I am with Dee and Least...I am mind-boggled how you are still debating.

If you are for real, go get help, any kind, anywhere. I almost didn't post this, because I thought, I am probably just feeding into someone's bid for attention, but then, I think about how completely lost and near death my active alcoholic brother is, and I thought, I'll give it a try, for him.

It's your life.

zxcirce

go go go go go go go.

or don't.

your hesitation is doing a good job of keeping you drunk. your hesitation knows exactly what it's doing. your hesitation is your disease.

make a choice and follow through.

getr345

It's amazing how much alcoholics & addicts overcomplicate things.

It's actually very simple.

Stop drinking. Right now.

Get professional help. Right now.

tellus

Because AA works with so many people, it's highly unlikely you're going to find a rehab program that doesn't advocate the 12-step approach. I have to echo what everyone else has said... just go.

This is your future you're waffling about. You can afford to be choosy once when you're sober. You'll be in my thoughts, sweetie.

Liberty47

What's the name of the facility? I'm a serial rehabber...

Katie09

Hi all and thanks much. I posted this then fell back asleep and had the MOST surreal dreams. He is leaving tomorrow, no matter what, and I am going with him, no matter what. I've decided that. I woke up hearing voices and I still can't figure out if it was someone's radio or in my head. The only other time I heard voices was the night after I put my dog to sleep.

He's still sleeping and I hate to wake him, but we need to get several things done today. It's just such a long drive and I'm afraid to be on the road for all those hours in the middle of the desert. No, no, not waffling, but I have this agoraphobic issue too. To this end, we'll bring wine along, just in case. I'll do my damnest to try to hold it together as I don't want to roll in there under the influence, or they'll make me go to detox and I don't want that.

Ok, better go wake him up and thanks all for reinforcing what must be done.

SeaHorse

Why dont you find a facility, that will let you have pets, computers, men,and allow drinking!? Also they will have no aa meetings or schedule to follow! You can just do what ya want!

You might as well just save your money and stay home!

I see no willingness on your part at all....just endless excuses.

Keep doing the same thing and you will get the same thing. Drunken downward spiral to the bitter end...maybe before death gets you..you will get the gift of desperation, and get a moment of clarity and realize you do not have the ability to make good decisions while you are in the grip of alcohol.

I am stepping away from the thread now. I think at this point there is no more to say to you.

James13

Just get to the rehab center.

doorknob

Katie, what is the reason that you chose this place over the other facility?

I understand the concern about having 12-Step theology forced on you. I would find it very upsetting as well. However, it looked to me like it wasn't the forte of their program. They said they would provide alternatives, hold your ground and insist upon it. It's your money.

Just curious, what was the facility you decided against and what did the other program director have to say about it?

mamabin

Katie, PLEASE, just go!

shaun00

A couple of pals would say to.."when are you gonna stop talking about not drinking and try not drinking"......

I guess ..thats the bottom line........i look foward to your posts after you have come home from treatment and i wish you well........

trucker

TTOSBT

I have these cards that I pick from everyday to state a focus. They are called angel cards. So this morning the card I picked read "patience". I thought uh-oh. I hate having to practice patience. Your thread is ones of those lessons for me.

I just can not believe you are still waffling on this. A 12 step program is not going to get you drunk, but your own thinking certainly has and will continue to if you don't stop!
For gawd sakes, get some help already. I am truly afraid for your life. For me recovery has involved honesty, open mindedness and willingness. I just am not seeing a lot of that in you right now. I pray that changes.

Taking wine with you on a DRIVE?
I truly do wish you the best. Good luck.

Gypsy Feet

I also look forward to you going to rehab. Please go

Katie09

Firstly, I put the money down and it's non-refundable. Secondly, I can have my pets and own space. The other program director said he had heard of this facility (where I am going to) and nothing more, while the rehab I am going to called the other facility a sham. I don't like people dissing other programs, believe it or not - especially when my life is at stake. So...my friend and I came up with the idea that I go to this rehab and if not appropriate, I go to the other rehab. Simple as that. We've been busy all day. I have all things squared away for the pets and the house. Now I have to get things squared away for me. I seem to be last in the equation, but so apropos for a person who self-destructs.

At any rate, called the rehab and they will meet me at whatever time I get there. It's a LONG drive. Went to the grocery store, bought stuff for sandwiches and the like.

To those who would fault me for having wine "just in case," you're not an asthmatic smoker (who uses both Singulair and a steroid inhaler just to breathe and wine is the one sure-fire cure), agoraphobic driving across a desert with no medical care around. I am sure most of you cannot relate.

At any rate, thanks so much to those of you who support me. Katie. :ghug2

mle-sober

Ha Ha Ha!!


Katie, If you think the game you're running is going to work in a rehab, you are so wrong.

If you feel so contemptuous of AA that you aren't willing to let aspects of it save your life, then .... well, I guess I'm just sorry for you.

Good luck. Have fun.

AlkalikeH

Asthmatic smoker self-medicating with wine? what a combo!

Do yourself an enormous help and just go to rehab Katie, sounds like booze is not the only issue.

I did went postal on one of your threads last week. That was not good at all.

So, for your own sake and the people who care: "less talk, more rock", got it?

All the best.