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10 Hilarious Reasons to be Grateful for Your Sobriety


Sober Recovery Expert Author

illustration of woman laughing

We can all agree that the road to sobriety has its ups and downs. It can be overwhelming, emotional and hard to deal with at times. While the seriousness of addiction is never a joke, there are some things I think back on and can’t help but laugh. The memories keep me ever so grateful that I no longer have to deal with these scenarios today.

Here are 10 unconventional reasons why being sober is not only great, but also hilariously cathartic.

1. A Two-Way Convo

I can now sit through an entire conversation without passing out. In fact, I don’t even close my eyes anymore. Instead, I can actually listen when someone is talking to me.

2. No More Untagging

Those embarrassing photos that are plastered all over Facebook are now memories that I legitimately remember and can laugh about, rather than regret. I am entirely grateful to have a good time at an event and actually remember what I was doing there.

3. Clean Hands, Clean Face

Washing permanent marker off of my face is no longer a weekend ritual. Getting drunk and passing out had many disadvantages, but this was a particularly annoying one.

Writer Cassandra Huerta lists the top ten reasons she's grateful for her sobriety—like not waking up in the bushes behind McDonald's anymore.

4. Right Where I Belong

Every night I fall asleep in my own bed. I don’t wake up on someone else’s couch or in the bushes behind McDonald's. I wake up in my very own bed and the joy I feel about that is irreplaceable.

5. Hello, Officer

I now possess the ability to drive in front of police cars and walk by police officers without sweating bullets and hiding my stash. In fact, when I get pulled over, I’m the one with the questions. It’s just such a relief to know I’m no longer breaking the law.

6. A Guiltless Trip

I can successfully go into a restaurant, use the bathroom in under five minutes and not worry about other people walking in and hearing what I used to do in there. I am now legitimately using the bathroom for its true purpose.

7. Eye on the Clock

I don’t have to sit in a restaurant or parking lot for long periods of time, not ordering or purchasing something. Waiting outside of a building for someone to bring me my next fix was not only unsafe, it was extremely time-consuming.

8. Curfew-Free

I used to attend family gatherings or dinners only to have to leave within a certain time frame or I wouldn’t be able to meet up with my drug dealer. It’s good to finally be able to spend as long as I want somewhere with no time constrictions.

9. Once Upawn A Time

I no longer have to unwillingly take an item into a pawn shop anymore. In fact, I never go there anymore, but if I did, it’s nice to know that it would be for a substantial reason and the money would be going towards something beneficial. Pawning your items for unpaid bills is fine; pawning your items for drugs is bad.

10. Built to Last

Last, but certainly not least, the interior of my car is all in one piece. For instance, I don’t have ripped seats or carpets for hiding drug stashes, and the dashboard is all connected where it’s supposed to be. It’s a wonderful feeling to be driving around and not worrying about hiding my drugs.

While addiction is not in any way a joke, shedding a humorous light on things can help bring a sense of relief to the stress that getting sober can bring. The recovery process can be a long and winding road but in the end, it’s the best and healthiest decision that you can make. We can all certainly relate to one or more things on this list so it’s nice to be able to look ahead and know that we no longer have to live in the madness.

If you or someone you know is seeking help from addiction, please visit our directory of treatment centers or call 800-772-8219 to start the path to recovery today.

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