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-   -   Hen House Talk Part 59 (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/357210-hen-house-talk-part-59-a.html)

chicory 01-22-2015 04:35 PM

Dreamscape, me too. I was the kid who got out of bed at night to see if the stove was too hot, or left on. If the door was locked. If parents were alive, and had not killed each other. I know anxiety. I still fight against it.
I read a great book.. called "Worry".. if you can get it, read it. its great, a pleasant read, by a doctor of psychology and he shares patient stories. It helped me to overcome anxiety at a very tough time. you can do this, Joe. believe it.

dreamscape 01-22-2015 05:08 PM

Thanks A , I'll look for it for sure!

Well one of my boundaries is to limit my time around people who are destructive.
I think I'm just going to go with my gut instinct.

I'm also going to try and practice boundaries around what i research on the Internet.
I tend to be destructive towards myself by researching current events around the world, they aren't exactly uplifting… But for some reason I have a keen interest, and that interest (often) puts me right to the gutter......It's very much like an addiction.

I guess I tell myself that I don't want to walk around like an ostrich with his head in the hole, I'd like to keep updated on the World around me, but it takes it's toll
I guess I need to find balance…:abcg:

Impurrfect 01-22-2015 05:22 PM

Welcome jynx!! I have used the double-sided tape to keep one of the old boys from scratching at a chair, and it worked, but I'd worry about taking the finish or paint off the woodwork? I didn't think about tin foil, either, but cats do hate it unless it's squished into a ball they can bat around:)

Jay - I'm sorry you had a rough day, but I do think you needed to get that out. I can imagine it feels pretty yukky afterwards, but you've been holding this in for so long. I'm really glad A showed up and I do hope she has some pull there. Lot's of love, sweetie.

Joe - So glad to see you and congrats on 9 months!! Yep, boundaries are a biggie. Working on them isn't easy but definitely worth it and better than the alternative!!

LeeLee - Hope you get a warm sweater and have a good time catching up with friends and clients.

I'm pretty achy today, bones just feel old and worn out:( Never heard back from aunt M, but she'll call eventually. Work was good, really slow as we only had patients doing PT. PA is seeing some patients tomorrow.

I'm going to take a hot bath, lay down and read a book. See if I can't find a spot of comfort.

Love to all!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

40Thieves 01-22-2015 05:57 PM

Jay, I guess you gave him the "emotional context" he was looking for, eh? You did nothing to feel bad about. He asked for it, he pushed for it, so you gave it to him! Your A therapist is smart, knows you and cares about you. That is something to hang your hat on. Trust her advice and do what it takes to get out of there and back seeing her regularly. ****{Hugs}}}

Hey Lenina, I just finished reading Nickeled and Dimed (after having it on my list since you first mentioned it, which was a long time ago!) I loved it. And even though I thought I knew a lot on the subject, she gave me some food for thought in my current managerial role. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes, while reading it, I thought I heard your voice telling the story. You didn't write it, did you? :wink:

Hugs to all~40

chicory 01-22-2015 05:58 PM

Joe,
My son said something very wise, the other day. We watch news, lots of it, but I get overloaded, like you. It gets me down.

I told son this, and he made me think by saying that we only see a little tiny bit of things happening. politics dictate what we hear.

for centuries, things have been happening. wars, killings, etc. It is proven that we live in the most peaceful times ever! Less killings. More compassion. Its just that the negative is the only thing that hits the news.

its hard to believe, but I think he is right. so, we have the job of doing our part to further improve things... be good , take care of ourselves, teach our children compassion, and do more acts of kindness, beginning with ourselves.

so do some good breathing, some good exercise, and live this life that is yours, to the fullest. don't let others negatives take your joy away. build something good with the beautiful life that is yours.

hugs,
chicrunonatthemouth..lol

chicory 01-22-2015 05:59 PM

((((40)))))good to see you friend!

dreamscape 01-22-2015 06:58 PM

Thanks so much Chic!

I fully agree with what you said about the news, New stations sensationalize everything to attract viewers so that they can sell commercial time.

New stations also have political agendas, for example CNN is very liberal and Fox seems ultra right-wing

I don't mean to sound cynical...lol..... but sorting out myth from truth is exhausting :a227:

chicory 01-22-2015 07:08 PM

yep,and I have decided that it's near impossible.


I give up, and am going to avoid the news.. if something really important happens, we will know about it, without Fox or Cnn.

I hope you can stop worrying. I worry less when i dont watch tv.

hugs.

amy55 01-22-2015 11:44 PM

Hi,

Joe, I don't watch the news. I get my news here. I remember watching the news all the time, I stopped, and I don't miss it. Especially with the politics.


Amy, you work so hard it makes me tired even hearing about your day. Hope Aunt M is doing ok. Will look for updates.

Hi 40.

(((((Jay)))))) Thinking of you. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Also I like "A" also, you seem to have a good rapport with her.
Chicory, I am going to try all different ways to try to keep my cat from climbing the walls. Put tin foil on one, duct tape on another, double sided on another. Will let you know the results. I also have a problem with my cats with the screened in porch area that I have. They don't like for me to shut the door. Ok, so I have a wood stove, when it gets too hot in here I let them out and leave the door opened. I know easy solution, get a cat door. Will work on that this spring. I still think that one will keep scratching at the frame, the other one keeps jumping up to window of screen door, just looking in at me.

I love cats, that are so funny, and they all have unique personalities.

I do hate laptops though. Just lost half my post.

I do have insomnia, so I'm still up, going to try to hit the sack soon.

Still have my Christmas tree up, and thinking of leaving it up and decorating it for other holidays. I ordered some wooden hearts and metal heart, so going to spray paint them red for Valentines Day. Also got some cute little teddy bears with red ribbons on their neck.

Will try to keep myself busy tomorrow.

Have a good day, or night, wherever you are

jynx

venuscat 01-22-2015 11:49 PM

I love the tree idea jynx...Valentines trees, Easter trees, thanksgiving trees....you could start a new trend. Heck, you could start a new business. That's pretty cool I think. :)

amy55 01-22-2015 11:55 PM

With the Christmas tree, call it lack of storage, call it, that the cats do like it, or that I am just too lazy to take it down. But I got my crafts, and I love to paint and be creative, so this is what I am going to do. I can do red, white and blue for Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day, so that's like 6 months that I don't really have to change it.

jynx

venuscat 01-22-2015 11:57 PM

I REALLY think you have something here jynx....go for it.
And take pictures...and YouTube it....who knows...you could be the next sensation. :)

amy55 01-23-2015 12:11 AM

A little more about me. I wasn't really allowed to enjoy X-Mas. It was the worst holiday for me. When I left my ex they bought a Christmas tree for their basement. I sat there each and every night looking at that tree. They never took it down. 5 years later it is still there, and decorated for each season. Mine will be in my living room. I don't go to my basement that much.

I also wasn't allowed to put up pictures or decorations on the walls. Took care of that also. (lol) I regularly go to garage sales and find things to put on my walls. Now I just need to find some more wall space. Will post pics when I do the tree.

jynx

venuscat 01-23-2015 12:23 AM

I don't quite understand the part about the tree in the basement.
But it sounds like you have had a rough time love.
I'm glad that you can be you now, and decorate freely. :hug:

Lenina 01-23-2015 03:03 AM

((((peeps))))). I don't have much time but wanted to let ((((jay)))) know its OK. I used to fly into fits of rage and go sorta blind. Once it passed, I always felt embarrassed and ashamed. I had reasons to be irate, and so do you. It's nothing to be ashamed of and that hurt and rage needs to come out in a safe space. I'm so proud of you. And so happy your dear A showed up. Shes very kind and I think protective of you. So, please, rage. Get it all out, so you can think straight and get some space from it, to be more objective.

((((((40T))))) So good to see you! We miss you! I love Barbarq Erenreich! she has a new book out, I can't recall the title but as soon as I can, I'll get it. I really liked "Bait and Switched" too. Excellent. I'm doing a little more political work in town. I have narrowed my focus on homelessness and hungry people. "Reagan's Refugees" we call them out here in Cali. after he closed nearly all of the mental hospitals! It's just so very wrong, the huge disparity.

(((joe))) I don't watch much cable news, it's not really news, it's political agenda pushing. I watch our local news and the BBC when I'm traveling. I do read the Economist and a few other publications.

I've got a music video channel on now and David Grohl in his "Learn to Fly" just cracks me up. I love that guy.

I need to pop out before the snow gets worse and get my stuff. I have a dinner meeting downstairs later.

Please forgive me for not adressing everyone. I plead jet lag brain splat. BBL

Much much love!

LeninaB

chicory 01-23-2015 03:21 AM

Jynx , I think thats a neat idea. I love a tree in the house.. it brings the outdoors in:)
glad you have your crafting,,, it is satisfying to create something.
hope the cats cooperate with you! and I am glad that you are free to express yourself in anyway that you wish, that's how it should be. I am sorry for what you had to endure, but glad you don't have to anymore.

Leelee, you are so good to take up the cause of those outcast and forgotten on the streets. how can this happen, I wonder and just can't believe it, really. but we do what we can. I have a friend in Wis. who takes bagged lunches to people.. a group of them started this and it has ballooned. the need is great, the workers few...

hope that you are feeling well, Lenina beena. we love you!

hugs to all.
chic

lauren 01-23-2015 04:20 AM

Lee..having to climatize (sp) must have its side effects with your health
at times as well. We very often make decisions based on snow levels
and are on to weather related needs as well. Supplies firstly..
I can only guess at times how safe we feel at times here in my neck
of the woods..your story of having to call before going to the convenience store
and taking other precautions .. it just seems so wrong. I know you are aware
and wise..just need to say..stay safe.~

Jay..no words of wisdom..just know you are cared about.

Jynx..I think you are a fun person..lots of creativity. Being who you are by
expression and art tells all. hugs.

Lenina 01-23-2015 06:20 AM

((((Lauren)))). Yes, hopping climates isn't so good for the body. I'm getting a stuffy nose now and I'm wondering if it's the heater or the fans or the whatever? It will pass, I hope. It's gray and dismal here, got my supplies and don't have to leave the hotel at all until tomorrow.

(((((Chicory))))) I feel very, very blessed that people look out for one another. I am touched by their concern and care. And very grateful. I think crime is always up when so many dont have jobs, or hope and no possibility in sight. Sometimes a little kindness goes a long way. I do get scared sometimes but I have little choice but to plunge on. LOL

I just had my basic self defense review and I did very well! I shocked myself even! Living in a big city my whole life might keep me edgy, keep my wits honed. I think it says something about the crime level in the area I stay. I know this is coming to an end, I should be out of this in maybe 18 months...so.....fingers crossed.

I got the Ok from work to take off for the surgery. my boss said not to worry and take what I needed. We reviewed my records, I only have one absence in the last 18 months and that was the vertigo I had. .scary stuff. hasn't reoccurred. I just want everything in order before so I don't stew and fret.

I'm seeing the weather reports for the next few days, looks like some serious snow coming to the northeast.

Love from Lenina

PS. I think my country would be well served to have the high schoolers do some community services. I think if they learned young we could change things. Sheesh, my generation joined the Peace Corp! I worry we are all losing touch with the real world.

Fandy 01-23-2015 07:48 AM

Yakkie, I hope today is better for you, other than that i can offer no wisdom because i have none, but you got it out. the way some people treat children upsets me a lot.

Amy, you might try some orange scented spray around the doors. Cats are supposed to hate citrus? i once wrapped an entire chair in aluminum foil but the one cat destroyed it (RIP Wylie Coyote).

Lenina 01-23-2015 08:05 AM

Fandy, that was one street fighting kind of feline to take out a chair wrapped in tin foil!

Yes, how people can do violence to a child is beyond me.

Love from Lenina

dreamscape 01-23-2015 01:24 PM

Try to buy some insurance today for a trailer I bought for my company that I just started, the fellow I bought the trailer from didn't know the proper procedure for the province I live in and it's a bit of a mess right now.
Insurance company is going to phone me when it's all straightened out.

And some other stuff happened yada yada yada… Now I'm at home waiting for the insurance company to call, snuggling my cat :)

Impurrfect 01-23-2015 04:45 PM

LeeLee - YAY on getting the time off for the surgery! I truly hope that makes you feel a lot better. Love how you are helping out the people who are struggling so much, often through no fault of their own.

Jynx - Love the tree idea! The last man I sat with, that had alzheimers, kept telling us it was time to get the Christmas tree out - it was August. His granddaughter and I were going to get a small tree, decorate it for Halloween, then Thanksgiving, but he got worse, forgot about the tree and died in Sept. I still think it's a great idea!

Joe - My dad listens to news nonstop. When I used to travel with him, to help him drive, it depressed me. I took my mp3 along and listened to music. I agree with Chic - we don't often hear about the good stuff nearly enough.

40 - So good to see you!!!

Love to Jay, Venus, Lauren, Norty, Fandy and everyone!

I wasn't aching, nearly as bad, today, did a lot of walking and enjoyed getting to wear jeans and a t-shirt to work:)

Rainy and nasty hear, but sunshine coming some time tomorrow. Going to TN, so will miss dog training with M:( I've got to counteract the chunk of money they will be taking out of my check for insurance, but it will work out.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

JustAYak 01-23-2015 04:55 PM

I don't really have much to say right now other than confirm that yes, I am glad A was there. One reason I like her is cause she is confident with me, perhaps cautious too, but not nervous like every other therapist I meet in this place. I can tell when I meet them if they are unsure of themselves around me and it puts me off. If they're not confident then I'm not either. Just like a dog...they pick up on things in the way we walk or talk that we otherwise don't notice. It is like that with the people I meet sometimes...but A has never been like that. She knows me and even when enraged, like yesterday, she does not fear me (although it's not like there really ever is a reason to fear me, I'm no hulk). She was calm and collected, I give her credit, because if she wasn't I wouldn't have calmed down myself. She can be what I need her to be whether it is a quiet comfort or a call-me-on-my-crap presence and she usually knows what is warranted for the situation. It is hard, I think, even for her as a professional who sees this kind of stuff everyday, to actively see the pain it causes. She was not without a few words for me yesterday that I will never forget.

I am feeling pretty sad today...and the voices are still rolling... perhaps not as much, it is hard to tell amidst everything else on my mind. I was reassigned to a new female psychologist and she's alright. Less annoying.

Oh, I had to go see the director of the ward too who told me that was the first time in months a psychologist had to use their panic button...Do I feel accomplished or what, lol. "No more outbursts" he says. I replied with something unsavory to him that he did not dignify with a response. No skin off my back (the darkest of all dark humor)...Laugh with me, I am trying not to be sad.

venuscat 01-23-2015 05:01 PM

We are with you Jay. ((((hugs))) ♥♥

venuscat 01-23-2015 05:02 PM

Have a safe trip Ames. :hug:

amy55 01-23-2015 05:03 PM

I'm having a really bad day here. Lost my firefox on my computer. Lost Internet Explorer for while also. Really surprised it worked now. Just so happy to be back on here, even though I don't know how I did it. May be time for a new computer. It takes me over 10 minutes to even get a connection. Firefox is still not working. It says "Your firefox profile cannot be loaded. It may be missing or inaccessible." Having a really bad day, and don't know anything about computers. I know my fan doesn't work on the computer and I can't get in the back of the laptop to fix that. The screw is stripped. I now use a cooling pad, but even with that, the computer just shuts down a lot. I can't watch any videos on here now, it overheats and shuts off.

Anyway, enough complaints from me today. I am smarted then that darn computer, I got back on here !!!!!

Now can someone tell me how to change a light bulb without going on the internet to figure out how to change a light bulb. What happened to those light bulbs that would just screw in and screw out.

I'm just so frustrated today. Still don't know how to fix this computer, or if I should even bother. I got it in 2009 refurbished. Is it going to cost me $200 or more to fix it and for it to still be as slow as it was?

Perhaps should have put all of that in the whiner section.

What I am grateful for today, is that I did get back on, don't know how, but if I go M.I.A., it's because I don't know what I am doing !!!!!!

Ok, cat situation, going to try the orange smell stuff first, (thanks Fandy). I did read that cats don't like that smell, if that doesn't work will try the tin foil, want to hold off on the tape for awhile, since it may take off the finish. But I'll do that also, this is war.

Live in Pa. Thanks Lenina for letting me know that snow is on it's way. I actually did put the news on today to check on that, and I don't watch the news, but computer was broken.

Ok, now to try to figure out how to use internet explorer.

Love always,
jynx

venuscat 01-23-2015 05:07 PM

jynx ~ you may need to reinstall Firefox. Uninstall and reinstall.
If IE is working, you can ask the internet how to do this if you are not certain. :hug:

JustAYak 01-23-2015 05:10 PM

Perhaps if you uninstall and reinstall firefox you might be able to get it running again. Although it sounds like your computer is reaching the point of old age. Mine is a 2010 and it's "up there" in computer years. Windows Laptops (if that's what you're using) are only really good for 3-5 years now. Macs are more 5-6 probably (I have a mac--aka my child that I hope never breaks because I will never be able to replace it with another one).

Well ((Vee)) - You beat me to it.

amy55 01-23-2015 05:13 PM

Hey Jay,

Was posting the same time you were. I know what you talk about when you talk about like animal instincts. We all have them. You know who you are a good fit with and when you are not. Glad "A" was there for you, and also happy that you got reassigned to someone that may be a better fit for you.

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
jynx

amy55 01-23-2015 05:17 PM

I did actually try to uninstall then reinstall. It didn't work, tried to restore it back to some earlier point. Said I had an anti virus thing running that was stopping the restoration. Stopped all of those, same thing. Anti virus this is running. Making me crazy because I am learning more about computers, or not learning anything about computers except that I finally got back on here.

I think I have everything disabled, and I don't think that is really good, but don't know. Just needed to feel like I had a connection to the world again.


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