Welcome, Sue. We do understand how hard this is, but you can do it.

You will definitely be healthy again SimplySue. Welcome to SR. I drank myself nearly to death over the course of 30 years and now, 2 years sober I haven't yet found a physical or intellectual pursuit that I am incapable of. I had ability in me that I simply never knew about. It is great you joined us. Only we can understand what you are going through.

Welcome Sue. This is the best place to get support that I have ever found, and it works. I will mention a couple of things that really helped me.

Join one of the monthly classes - you will be part of a smaller, more supportive group, all of whom started the same month:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html

If you can, read Alcohol Explained, by William Porter. It really clears up a lot of the mysteries around alcohol, and why it is so difficult to quit, even when we want to.

It's not so hard to quit if we just use some of the tools and really want it. But that part is key.

Welcome Sue, we can do this!! I have found I really have to keep busy to keep me focused and to help ignore the AV. Some days have definitely been more challenging then others. The people here are amazing.

Booze hurts everyone differently. Some folks get in huge domestic trouble before their body/mind get zapped, others make it to a fairly older age either by luck or because they were a very disciplined addict. Those folks end up with health issues. That was me and maybe you.

Either way, quitting hurts like nothing we have ever experienced. The addiction morphs and can be fierce or subtle but sneakily fierce. I experienced all variations thus far and am dealing with new and otherwise unique craves these days.

For me to say I have this thing under control is not really a lie, it is more of a crave morph. The addiction is trying to get me to have a snort.

So even after decades of clean living, it will be there. At least for me. Maybe some folks are different. Maybe after a year, 5 years, 15 years etc. some folks are super done and don't crave. Good good good for them.

That is not me.

But, I hate booze. It is poison. My body may be a temple of delicious cheese burger sliders, but booze doesn't enter.

Thanks.

Hi everybody and thank you for the warm welcome and messages of support and encouragement. I’ve spent a lovely quiet weekend visiting my mum with my children. I’m feeling very positive about what’s ahead. The crushing anxiety from last week has already lifted.
I will post separately about my scan.
I’m going to check in here regularly and keep sharing with you all.
Thank you all for being here.

Welcome Sue!! I too was a functional alcoholic until well….I seized out and almost died. I had managed 3-4 weeks of sobriety before that so my mind decided that I wasn’t an alcoholic since I could go awhile without it.
‘Most helpful for me….NEVER having alcohol in the house. Too tempting to just have one swig, then 5-6 more etc. I drank secretly or with my spouse who didn’t want to accept losing his drinking buddy. Sadly, we are getting a divorce because he doesn’t want to “change his lifestyle”. (But that’s a whole different post!)
AA helped a LOT. I found that everything clever I thought only I did—.sneaking, hiding drinks, lying etc. was very common. I wasn’t alone nor was I that clever!
Then this wonderful group here at Sober Recovery has been amazing. They have helped me stay sober and since my spouse is an alcoholic, I’ve received lots of invaluable information and support from the other side here—-friends and families of alcoholics. I’m what is called a “double winner”, which isn’t as fancy as it sounds. :)
I ended up with several health problems, most of which have resolved since I finally got sober 8 years ago.
let us know how your scan goes and WELCOME!

I'm glad you're with us @SimplySue!:grouphug: