I tend to think of alcohol as both the symptom and the cause - it's that powerful. I chased the drunk to escape from the feelings of self-unworthiness, avoidance, shame etc - but then the booze creates this sick, brutal cycle where it creates and magnifies those very negative feelings that it temporarily salves. Once we are deep in the drinking life, the issues, complexes, problems that drove us there are not things that we can deal with. Booze makes just performing the basic life obligations difficult.

I realized, at the end of my drinking days, that only in sobriety could I really start to deal with the obstacles, complexes and feelings about myself that needed fixing. Quit first. Do it without making an excuse that you aren't totally fixed. Drop the booze for good and then, finally, you can start healing.

I have had plenty of counseling, enough to know that there were childhood issues - loss of my sister, and primary caregivers, absentee father, divorce, etc. I drank initially to overcome my attachment disorder, shyness and anxiety - but it became a regular habit. Once established, the shame from it, as well as relationship problems and codependency became toxic. By then I wasn't drinking that much, but it didn't matter because I couldn't stop, and once you're in the addiction, other disorders or problems cannot be resolved.

Many of us used alcohol to numb ourselves from other issues but eventually it takes over and nothing else gets resolved until you can quit.

Many paths lead in.
One path leads out.
I focused on how to stay on that path out until I got out.

Best of luck on your journey! :ring

For me it’s because I don’t value myself, it’s like a self harm for me. Also another reason is bordem and loneliness but I cant change that environment until I’v been sober for a while but you have to try regardless. If your an alcoholic and you hate drinking but do it anyway then you better believe it’s because of mental issues or the environment that your living in and if you don’t sort those issues out you’ll be forever drinking because your pissing in the wind

This was more or less my story. It was fun, started to change into a coping mechanism, drank far too much, it caused problems, tried to moderate and that didn't work (cycled a few times here), finally worked out that permanent sobriety was the only solution.

The 1st time I drank alcohol I drank to excess.
Every time after that I drank to get drunk. Not the taste, I hated the taste at 1st but forced myself to get used to it, not to relax, just to get drunk.
I have no idea why I just wanted more and more.
My childhood wasn't story book but wasn't horrible either.
I have no mental issues other than some anxiety.

Seems I was born with a taste for alcohols effects.

I drank because of the classic HALT 'syndrome' - hunger, anger, loneliness and tiredness cycle. Never any enjoyment. I was trying to replace all of these. Initially it was through food but it moved on to alcohol. Never in company, always on my own.

Sorry I can not be more constructive.