I have dealt with a fair bit of depression dear Jeff....very recently in fact.
The way you feel now feels like how I felt.
I got help fast. I needed it. And I am getting better and stronger (again) every day.

I think counsellors are gold.
Talking through this.....understanding what is going on.....it gave my my stability back. :hug: ❤️

If you suffer from underlying depression that isn’t alcohol related then being sober and working a sound recovery program in conjunction for treatment for depression from medical professionals is very efficacious in my experience.

I was 50 when I found myself still drinking every night after work. 25 years spent attending and not attending AA meetings. I wasn't one of Those People.....until I realized I AM one of Those People.


What do you do when you realize what a mess you made? You start to clean up that mess.


You start by learning not to drink every day. You learn to begin to live a sober life and you begin to heal. You find work, you continue to work on self with the help of a recovery program (Women for Sobriety, Men for Sobriety, LifeRing, SOS, AVRT, SMART, Refuge Recovery, AA, other programs). You face your creditors and begin to pay them back, you keep working, keep staying sober and life begins to open up.


I got sober at the age of 50 and I had made an absolute mess of my life. In the last 9 years, I have been able to pay back old debts, find and keep working, buy a home, and stay sober........

The bottom line is this: You can be and stay sober if you want it badly enough. We just need to want to be sober more than we want to die drunk (or from alcohol related accident).

I know you can stay stopped, too! I wish you well on your sober journey!

p.s. While I was getting sober, my best drinking buddy was in the hospital dying because alcohol was shutting her organs down. She died one month later.

Do you want to try a sober way of life or die a slow and painful alcoholic death?

Seems the only way out for me with the existential pain is through. Still in it in intense bursts as I had suppressed so much for so long. I also have been facing a self-inventory too which isn’t easy, but I suggest staying objective. Self-loathing is a default setting for many of us, and it is inaccurate and unfair.

You are a good man Jeff—trust us on that. Doing bad things doesn’t make a person bad, especially when you feel remorse so acutely.