I don’t enjoy it so why do I keep doing it!
 

I asked that to myself many times. It's just the nature of this crappy addiction we all unfortunately share. Maybe today is a good time to stop? I'm on day 9 here so just getting going myself.

I wish I could answer your question, but only you can do that.
You'll have to look inside yourself and do some soul searching and self assessment.
I had no idea why I drank at the end either. Alcohol was killing me, yet I drank.
It took a power greater than myself to finally make me stop.

I hope you find an answer to your question. Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful. I found without help I couldn't stop.
I wish the best for you.

I think you do it because you're an alcoholic. And, you CAN stop. It's not easy, but you can do it. :)

Don't know why you do it but you CAN stop.

What do you mean when you say you "tried" AA?

That you went to a couple of meetings?

Or you got a sponsor and worked the steps.

Do you WANT to quit? That's the bottom line.

The only way I was able to quit, so far, was to understand my addiction.

I really think my addiction is not special. I believe it is the same for everyone, minus things like clinical depression etc.

My addiction is caused by the brain damage from years of drinking.

My brain didn't produce enough dopemine to make me happy.

When I was trying to quit, I was into grappling. The dopamine, adrenaline, endorphins etc I created from the grappling got me through the first 2 plus years.

During this time I learned how people get addicted to grappling.

I correctly related grappling to drinking and learned what I was feeling.

All of my frustrations were medicated when I was grappling/drinking.

Even when I wasn't drinking, I knew eventually I would be and things would feel better. When I would sober up I knew soon enough I would drink again.

Now I don't grapple anymore but I get the same dopemine from exercise. Sometimes I go light, sometimes I go heavy. My body can only stand about 10 hours a week of exercise before I start to not recover fast enough.

I also do other things to create dopamine. These things include: good food, music, shows, reading sr, being a nice person petting my doggy etc etc.

Understanding my /our addiction was key for me getting this far.

I craved daily until about 6 months this ago. Now I don't crave, but i still obsess about silly stuff. That is getting better too.

Basically, i have unlearned drinking with the caveat of i know why.

Hope this helps you get through the first few years. After that, I don't know because I haven't been there.

Thanks.

Its called alcoholism. For a few years when actively drinking I would wake up and throw up while brushing my teeth because I knew when I was done, I would be choking down a drink. Its a sad existence. I have not mastered sobriety, but I am sober now and that's what matters. I wish you the best.

Dammit Stable! Maybe at least just aim to beat last year's fine effort of five months (as I recall) and take it from there. Simple time away from booze is probably the biggest factor in getting off the merry-go-round, I have come to believe. How you achieve that time is the tricky bit of course but AA or SMART should help you along the way.

That AA contact needs to never be called again. Telling an alcoholic to F off is against everything AA stands for.

how can an alcoholic like you stop and stay stopped?
just like the rest of us.
in a variety of different ways, most of which involve a lot of actions after actually not lifting that bottle to your mouth.
what do you mean by “alcoholic like me”?

It's a craving of habit. We spend so many years doing the same thing, it forms pathways in the brain that condition us to want to keep doing it. It's nothing more than that. Be easy on yourself, those pathways won't vanish overnight, but over time they will grow weaker and fade.

I think it can be easy to stay stuck in the "fight". We believe that recovery will be difficult and that we will have to suffer for months or years before we get better. In the past I was so focused on the fight to come that I missed the moments of peace. I felt some sense that I had not earned it yet.

I had bad cravings yesterday, but today I do not. I will rest in this moment of silence and take this time to heal and understand. In times of darkness we often times cannot see past that darkness. Only in the light can we see that we were blinded by our own ignorance and in fact, everything will be okay in the end.

I couldn't work out why I couldn't stop drinking - but my life was all about drinking - drinking with friends,drinking at home, drinking to celebrate, drinking to commiserate, drinking cos I was bored or sick or angry.

I put a monumental effort into drinking as much as I wanted.

I finally worked out I had to put at least the same amount of effort into not drinking.

Try and write down what you're doing to not drink.

If you're still drinking, whatever you put down doesn't appear to be enough, Stable.

You've been spinning your wheels for a lot of months now.
Its been pretty painful to watch man - it must be all the more painful to live it.

What else can you do? what can you add to help you get sober and stay that way?

D

I also drank and didn't enjoy it. :( But I didn't think I could face my life without alcohol's numbing effect. :( I finally got to the moment when I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and then, with great effort, I was able to stay sober.

It took a lot of deliberate effort to just not drink at first. I was very aware that I was 'not drinking'. After a few months sober, I still wasn't 'feeling it'. I was advised to start practicing gratitude every day. It was hard at first cause I was so depressed, but it got easier to be grateful and easier to remain sober. :)

I was a chronic relapser and I finally got serious and now I am over 10 yrs sober. :) If I can do it, so can you! :hug:

I hope you returned the favor. I have never been to AA, but I always recommend to others to do what works. There are idiots everywhere. Have you thought of going back and finding someone you click with?

Here's a good article about the benefits of being grateful. :)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6682692

I used to practically beg myself not to stop at the liquor store on the way home from work. I would say to myself "please can we just not this tonight." I always stopped and got a pint. There was something in my mind, not even a craving, but I felt like I had to. It was just what I did.

Then something in my mind switched and I realized I did not have to drink. If I wanted to I could escape. So I did.