Rock concert tomorrow, sober and nervous
 

Freaking out a bit as it's my 1st ever rock concert sober, going with partner and Stepkids.. Its actually more like a mini festival, 5 bands, all night and outside..
Not sure how comfortable I will be or if I will even enjoy it, I'm sure I will see lots of people I know as well as this isn't a regular event in our town so I'm sure lots of people will go..
Last concert I went to was Guns n Roses and I was very very drunk..

My recovery has to be non conditional, red.

Back in the day I went to a lot of festivals and got very drunk - they're not really my scene now but I've been to several in recovery and stayed stone cold sober.

It took me a while to relax and let my hair down sober but I go for the music and the catch up with people now, not to get wasted.

If nothing else you're going there with your step kids - not sure how old they are but I'm assuming they need a responsible adult - you can be that :)

Of course, bottom line is if this is too much too soon and you think you might break down and drink, not going needs to be one of your options.

D

Don't go. That's ALWAYS an option - and looking back to think it might have been OK is always a better choice than regret that you drank.

I was two years sober before I attended a live concert. At that point I was confident about staying sober. I also realized that one of the reasons I went to concerts, particularly hard rock and metal shows was the drinking. Sober, it didn't hold the same draw. And I didn't have patience for the crowds and drunken behavior.

This is what I'm worried about, that I won't enjoy it because all I was really going for is the booze.. And the same thing re drunk people..

My partner said he will only have a drink or two as he knows I'm going sober and that I can handle but can't trust that he will follow that. We do have his youngest sons 9th bday party the next day so hopefully he will stick to it..

Dee my 2 Stepkids that are coming along are 16 and 20 year old boys so they don't need a responsible adult but I'm not really worried about drinking as I'm driving.

I don't want to be that boring person, I'm socially very very shy without booze...and not much of a pretender..

If nothing else you're going there with your step kids - not sure how old they are but I'm assuming they need a responsible adult - you can be that

I pray this is enough to keep you sober. I would have declined, straight away.

I'm pretty shy too and not very outgoing - but I still have a good time listening to bands, checking out the market stalls (if they have any) and meeting old friends.

Meeting new people I try and turn the conversation on them.
Most folks love talking about themselves

I'll be honest - this time may not be a blast - you may feel a little forlorn and left out (which is why not going is still one of your options...your group can get an uber or a cab) )

but, if you go, keep in mind this is not the best sobriety, or you, is going to get sober.

Work in progress. It gets better,

I didn't know the kids were that old - but tbh 16 yos probably still need a little adult guidance and supervision at festivals...in any case it's never a good look when the young'uns have to carry an old'un to the car but I did that more than once with young people I was with.

Utterly inconceivable selfish behaviour to me now - I changed and grew - you can too :)

D

I would have also declined also. I used to LOVE going to concerts. Obviously for the reason to have an “acceptable excuse” to drink as much as I wanted without getting judged. Sober me hates crowds and drunk people. I’ve chosen to stay away from those events. Not because i would be afraid I would drink but just because it doesn’t sound fun to me anymore. Some people love going to concerts sober. I’m not one of them and I’m perfectly fine with that.

I'm sure I can do it sober, just have to stay focused and harness my inner sober crazy..

I always try to peak into the future of different scenarios. Let's just say for a minute you are responsible for these kids and you end up wasted........? now what?

Stay sober.

Thanks.. I've been drunk many times in front of them as has their dad but time to set a better example..

I'm sure you can. And that itself can be a danger. Be prepared for your AV to tell you, "See, you made it through a concert sober. You obviously aren't an alcoholic, so now you can drink."

Or some variation of that theme...

Hey Red! I went to three concerts last year and managed to stay sober....especially once I saw the alcohol prices.....yikes! I had more fun than expected + was able to remember everything....it can be done! Have fun!!! :headbang:

Five months into sobriety I went to a four-day music camping festival. It solidified for me that 1) It was always about the music, 2) I don't need substances to have energy, in fact, I had a lot more energy and stamina without them, 3) Most people are not paying attention and could care less whether I was drinking, getting high, or not, 4) My exit plan was to find space or leave if necessary. I did move away from some annoyingly high/drunk crowds, but in general I noticed that lots of people were NOT getting drunk or high, 5) Low and behold, lots of venues have a sober table where they are there to talk, create support, provide solidarity, and maybe give you some candy.

If it's too soon it's too soon and you're not confident you can deal, then don't go. If you're really not into music don't go to a show. I will never give up live music, and I love going to shows clear and energized.

I went to Bruce Springsteen newly sober and Black Sabbath.

I had phone numbers for an emergency, but didn't need them.

I agree that, what I used to think ... I'm just like everyone else here, arrived with half a skin full and proceed to get more wasted was not the case at all.

Sober, I could see that so many people were there for the music and the social occasion, they weren't there to get roaring drunk.

And the few drunks were just a glowing example of why I was sober. I saw myself in them and it wasn't cool at all 😳

Harness your inner sober crazy Red and have a good time. I'd go if I were you.

Just steer clear of the morons, and enjoy the concert. The two older kids would be interesting to talk to, because they are younger. :)

You sound strong in your resolve Red. But as previous poster said, be aware of the smarts of the AV. It's conned me a few times.

You'll love it when you wake following day and you can remember everything. Creating a new history.

Have a great time Red.

Creating a new history. I love that statement.

I never denied myself anything fun from day 1.

Things were tough in the beginning. It hurt to not drink.

But, because I was not drunk I was more aware. I looked around and saw that less people were drinking than I thought.

I saw folks drinking these gigantic beers and I thought...that would make me pee 4 times. I would lose my great spot up front and then I would get sleepy when it was time to go home.

Drinking at concerts was the old me. The new me enjoys everything clean. I realized that concerts give me a natural high. Most people don't drink and they love concerts.

It is partially because of the natural high they get.

Thanks.

Good on you D122y. :)

Yes, HeadEast we are making history. :tyou

I go to a lot of concerts, probably 15 or so a year. My wife and I are trying to see all of our favorite artists while they are still able to perform. (I just missed out on seeing Tom Petty before he died, which bums me out).

The best part of going to rock concerts now is that I am sober. And the next day I actually remember the setlist.

It's unbelievable how much more enjoyable it is to experience the music sober, instead of being so wasted you don't remember.

So true Zebra. So true.

I dont go to many concerts but I have been to hundreds of NBA games. Every single game I would be drinking/drunk. Often times I would black out mid game. Sometimes I would have to check my phone in the morning to see who won.

After deciding to stop drinking I gave it a few weeks before I went to a game. The first game sober, I went with family rather than friends. I told myself before the game, it was ok if I did not have fun, but under no circumstances could I drink.

Sitting there without a beer was strange and unfamiliar. I did enjoy the game but I also really wanted a beer. After 2 or 3 games I got into the habit of not drinking. Now, I love going to games sober. They are by far more fun now than they ever were when I was drinking.

I feel much better hearing from other people that it will be ok if I don't enjoy it.. I think I will just go with the thought of having a new experience sober..
I only have 1 regret in my life and that is not seeing Carlos Santana live when I had the chance.
2011 we had tickets, sober at the time, my partner at the time wanted to protect his sobriety so fiercely that he forewent going to see an idol, Raul Rekow, now Raul has passed away and I know I won't get the chance to see Santana as not so many people come to NZ.
So I don't want to do this, I want to find a way to do this sober and enjoy at the same time..

Red, I realised early on in my road to recovery that life goes on - with or without me. It was extremely difficult for me in the beginning (think it was too much too soon) to go to social events.

At first it was like seeing how long you can hold your hand over a burning candle - but it did get easier. Now, I partake in every single event organised by my friends or husband and I can honestly say that I'm okay with it. As long as I have enough soda water , I actually have as much fun as the drinkers.

The bottom line is , you are the only one who can honestly say if you are up to it or not. If you have even the slightest doubt - don't go.

When in doubt, stay out. Lots of love XXXXX

2nd band down 3 to go, music is awesome but I'm suffering tbh, nearly had a drink a few times but I didn't cave.. My FIL gave us a ride in his new convertible so I don't have an excuse not to drink. Let's see how the rest of the night goes..

You have the best excuse ever not to drink Red - not only is it the only way forward, but you know first hand how deadly this stuff can be and how fragile life is.

Hate to be blunt like that, but you know what the right thing to do is - a little short term irritation is nothing.

You can do this. Don't 'see' how the rest of the night goes - nothing good can come of being passive right now Red - make damn sure you make decisions that keep you sober.

D

I'm all good now, it's passed, 3rd band down and I'm feeling way more comfortable, everyone else is drunk so I don't feel so awkward lol

I have seen the following bands sober:
Lynrd Skynrd
The Eels
Morrissey
Shaun Ryder
Jethro Tull
Teenage Fanclub

I love going to gigs sober now.

I'm glad you made it though red.

Be alert the rest of the long weekend too - our inner addict doesn't like being thwarted.

D