Feel like I’m going to drink when I get out of here I’m in the ER. Was having late breakfast with hubby when I felt like I suddenly just needed to leave. Getting up and walking out led to chest pain, pounding heart, intense pressure in my head (Im assuming my bp shooting up), dizziness and shortness of breath. Total heart attack panic. I’m so sick of this. I’ve been to so many ers and doctors since quitting, I feel like a crazy person, it just doesn’t seem worth it anymore. And if this is all anxiety, I took a 10mg Librium this morning when I usually take 5. I can’t get this under control. I already told my husband we’re stopping for a bottle of wine when we leave here. Total tug of war between wanting it and not, wanting it is starting to win. |
When did you quit? What are you trying to achieve by buying that bottle of wine? What does your husband think about the prospect of you keeping on drinking for the next year/5 years/life? |
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I’m glad you’re in the ER getting checked out though. How is your bp? I hope they’re running the appropriate tests. Anxiety is difficult. What have you done aside from the Librium, to address that? You know drinking will not help. I hope you change your mind about stopping for wine on the way home. Posting here was a good idea!Keep doing that and let us know how you’re doing. |
Originally Posted by BackandScared
(Post 7308650)
When did you quit? What are you trying to achieve by buying that bottle of wine? What does your husband think about the prospect of you keeping on drinking for the next year/5 years/life? |
Originally Posted by gypsytears
(Post 7308652)
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I’m glad you’re in the ER getting checked out though. How is your bp? I hope they’re running the appropriate tests. Anxiety is difficult. What have you done aside from the Librium, to address that? You know drinking will not help. I hope you change your mind about stopping for wine on the way home. Posting here was a good idea!Keep doing that and let us know how you’re doing. |
Day 38 is still really early on -think how many years you drank for - can't expect everything to be repaired in a few weeks. What good will wine do? Back to day 1. Day 0 :( |
Congrats on 38 days, Jaz. Wine will make your symptoms worse when you inevitably have to stop drinking again. |
I want to have a couple of drinks, feel less panicky and also not feel so stupid about coming to the er yet again for apparently what is no reason other than anxiety. You wouldn't be on day 38, if your soul didn't want to be there. Listen to your soul. |
Originally Posted by JazV36
(Post 7308661)
BP was fine once I got here 129/75. I just had a therapy session this morning and was in a great mood all morning and then it flipped just like that. My therapist gave me a bunch of info on psychiatrists because my gp wants me to see one but I am terrified of being put on an SSRI. Still going to try to make an appt and at least see what they have to say. Somethings got to give. |
Don't forget why you decided you needed to quit in the first place. From your first post to SR:
Originally Posted by JazV36
(Post 6373621)
I'm worried that I might be doing some damage to my heart with my 2 bottles of wine a day habit, so I want to stop. The problem is I've been drinking starting in the morning to ease the palpitations, only to have them come back full force in the middle of the night. My anxiety issues are the reason I've become such a heavy drinker. |
Take it from me, a former anxiety queen that was diagnosed with cptsd and a full blown anxiety and panic disorder - drinking will at best delay the agony, and will then turn on you and create even more anxiety. The cycle will never end. Tell the doctor while youre there what youre experiencing. Maybe he can recommend something. It took two low dose anti d's but Im 1000x better. There are other ways. |
38 days is fantastic!! So now you have to deal with anxiety. I really hope you have not bought that stupid bottle of wine. If you are 38 days sober you know that you are lying to yourself to drink. You know the reasons you are giving to drink are just your addiction talking you into drinking. Right now you want to drink and you are trying to rationalise it. But if you are sober, you know your anxiety was worse drinking. Drinking does not calm anybody's anxiety for long and makes it much worse once you got yourself a drinking problem. I have found honesty a very good tool. Addiction comes with many levels of dishonesty and lying. I have promised myself not to lie. If I drink, I will do it because I am an addict and I give up. Because I want the drink more than the fighting, more than feeling my feelings. I will not give myself excuses. It has kept me very sober for over 4 months. I suffer from anxiety too. I have ended up in ER too feeling like a fool. Drinking never improved the problem. However, it kept me further away from hospitals to hide my drinking problem and the terror of social services getting involved to protect my kids. I reread my last sentence and I want to die of shame. Above everything else, I don't want to get back there. Good luck |
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
(Post 7308719)
Don't forget why you decided you needed to quit in the first place. From your first post to SR: Alcohol wasn't working then. Won't work today--long term--if you decide to drink. Stay sober and address your anxiety from that stance. |
Just because you want to drink, doesn't make it a good idea. Just because you want to drink, doesn't mean you have to drink. I have struggled with anxiety and drinking used to make it much, much worse. Drinking won't help anything. I think you know that, deep down inside. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, but you'll feel worse if you drink. Please take care of yourself. |
When you said you had librium I assumed you were in the early withdrawal phase - can I ask why you have them? Librium and diazepam are fine for me in withdrawal but if taken when sober I become insanely anxious. It's called a paradoxical side effect, just a thought. |
Thanks everyone for the replies, especially the one digging up my first post. I am home now wineless. But oh boy did I want to but all of you are right. It would only make things worse in the long run. Thanks for being there when I need you :ring |
That's great! You won. |
Originally Posted by daisy1
(Post 7308735)
When you said you had librium I assumed you were in the early withdrawal phase - can I ask why you have them? Librium and diazepam are fine for me in withdrawal but if taken when sober I become insanely anxious. It's called a paradoxical side effect, just a thought. |
edit |
They have come out with new anti-depressants that have way fewer side effects. If the doctor suggests taking them, let him/her know which ones you tried before and how long ago that was. Anti-depressants literally saved my life and others here have said the same thing. Congrats on 38 days and also for not giving in and buying the wine. :) |
So glad you made it home without wine Jaz. I am so sorry for all you went through earlier. I how that you can get your anxiety figured out. Drinking absolutely does not help anything. Way to go getting AV to shut up. :hug: |
I agree with Suki. Tell your doctor which antiD's gave you bad side effects in the past. There are so many new ones and one of them may be right for you. You'll never know til you try. :) AntiD's saved my life and improved my quality of life. :) |
I am thrilled you did not get the wine. Imagine how you would feel waking up tomorrow morning with that headache and guilt. I am on a SSRI and finally stopped crying and panicking. I noticed the difference on the first day. I really did enjoy the crying for 11 days at some times since it was cathartic and it really gave me the desperation I needed to put down the drink. When you were on the SSRI in the past did you drink on them? Just a thought now that you are clean and sober it may have a different affect. But that is between you and your Doctor I am so proud of you for messaging us from the ER. And so happy you are sober. I was in the ER three separate times in 7 days. You know why? Because every time I left the ER I drank as soon as I "walked" out the door by myself. I do not like ER's I do not want to go back there any time soon. Take care of yourself. You did the work today and asked for help. Tomorrow will be 39. |
I was so against psych meds my whole life. I was SO BAD... I needed relief and peace back desperately. I was DESPERATE My doctor started me on one, and with rest and self care the desperation got a bit better, but it really wasnt doing the trick. She added another one and in about a month I felt not just hope but excitement at the prospect of having a life again. Try anything, but dont ever think alcohol will help. You'll have a few hours of drinking and then more misery. |
Jaz, I'm glad to hear you didn't drink. I know there were too many times I was in the hospital and went straight out drinking. It only got worse and I only got sicker until I finally quit. You've mentioned a lot of other factors, that I relate to as well - What are willing to consider, starting with getting suggestions and calling places, for support up to and including rehab? Dual diagnosis is common and tough but it can be addressed. My main issue as it has evolved in sobriety is anxiety. My awesome psychiatrist, a current therapist, and AA as well as a pastoral counselor with my husband are ALL part of my recovery worldview, ie my life. For me, nothing was off the table when I got sober - except that my parents were done paying for stuff and said no to the expensive treatment center my drs found for me. I had AA or "nothing" and I quit cold turkey. I had to be DONE completely, never to drink again, and then figure out how to fight and win the internal arguments, the ability to convince others to enable me, the urges and anxiety and everything else. You can do it, too. It's just about how much we want it - when we want to be sober more than we want to drink, each day, we make progress. |
Well done, Jaz! I’m glad you stayed true to your welcoming advice to me- to keep posting for continued support to help you through the challenges. |
Originally Posted by faith823
(Post 7308768)
When you were on the SSRI in the past did you drink on them? Just a thought now that you are clean and sober it may have a different affect. But that is between you and your Doctor |
Yay for Jaz! This makes me so happy to read. |
That's great Jaz! And I drank while on various meds, over time, and looking back, they certainly weren't as effective as they would have been (and are now) give that practice. |
Drinking does not help anxiety, it just makes it worse. So you have a drink, you feel a bit calmer, but it doesn't last long. So you need more alcohol, to get more calm, but that doesn't last long, so what do you do now? You must drink more wine, oh look that's one bottle done. Now I'm feeling quite drunk, I'll carry on....anxiety? what anxiety? I'm on top of the ******* world......pass out.... wake up at 5am, impending doom, panic, terror, heart racing, why did i drink? I'm back at day 0 again. Oh my god, i'm useless, I need a drink to calm me down, i'm in withdrawals again. Take me to the ER. Still want that glass of wine to calm you down? |
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