Notices

Feel like I’m going to drink when I get out of here

Old 11-12-2019, 09:11 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 104
Feel like I’m going to drink when I get out of here

I’m in the ER. Was having late breakfast with hubby when I felt like I suddenly just needed to leave. Getting up and walking out led to chest pain, pounding heart, intense pressure in my head (Im assuming my bp shooting up), dizziness and shortness of breath. Total heart attack panic. I’m so sick of this. I’ve been to so many ers and doctors since quitting, I feel like a crazy person, it just doesn’t seem worth it anymore. And if this is all anxiety, I took a 10mg Librium this morning when I usually take 5. I can’t get this under control. I already told my husband we’re stopping for a bottle of wine when we leave here. Total tug of war between wanting it and not, wanting it is starting to win.
JazV36 is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 09:16 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
When did you quit?
What are you trying to achieve by buying that bottle of wine? What does your husband think about the prospect of you keeping on drinking for the next year/5 years/life?
BackandScared is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 09:18 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
not a greeter
 
gypsytears's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,926
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I’m glad you’re in the ER getting checked out though. How is your bp? I hope they’re running the appropriate tests. Anxiety is difficult. What have you done aside from the Librium, to address that? You know drinking will not help. I hope you change your mind about stopping for wine on the way home. Posting here was a good idea!Keep doing that and let us know how you’re doing.
gypsytears is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 09:29 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by BackandScared View Post
When did you quit?
What are you trying to achieve by buying that bottle of wine? What does your husband think about the prospect of you keeping on drinking for the next year/5 years/life?
Today is day 38. I want to have a couple of drinks, feel less panicky and also not feel so stupid about coming to the er yet again for apparently what is no reason other than anxiety. My husband didn’t want to bring me here but he did because I insisted. He’d do the same thing if I insisted on the wine.
JazV36 is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 09:32 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by gypsytears View Post
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I’m glad you’re in the ER getting checked out though. How is your bp? I hope they’re running the appropriate tests. Anxiety is difficult. What have you done aside from the Librium, to address that? You know drinking will not help. I hope you change your mind about stopping for wine on the way home. Posting here was a good idea!Keep doing that and let us know how you’re doing.
BP was fine once I got here 129/75. I just had a therapy session this morning and was in a great mood all morning and then it flipped just like that. My therapist gave me a bunch of info on psychiatrists because my gp wants me to see one but I am terrified of being put on an SSRI. Still going to try to make an appt and at least see what they have to say. Somethings got to give.
JazV36 is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 09:37 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Guest
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Day 38 is still really early on -think how many years you drank for - can't expect everything to be repaired in a few weeks.

What good will wine do? Back to day 1. Day 0
ReadyAtLast is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 09:44 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,642
Congrats on 38 days, Jaz. Wine will make your symptoms worse when you inevitably have to stop drinking again.
ThatWasTheOldMe is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 09:50 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
nez
Member
 
nez's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
I want to have a couple of drinks, feel less panicky and also not feel so stupid about coming to the er yet again for apparently what is no reason other than anxiety.
In my experience of returning to drink with just a couple, after the initial "relief?", I always felt more panicky and stupider than I did before consuming them because I knew "here I go again" to a place my soul didn't want to be.

You wouldn't be on day 38, if your soul didn't want to be there. Listen to your soul.
nez is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 10:42 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
not a greeter
 
gypsytears's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,926
Originally Posted by JazV36 View Post


BP was fine once I got here 129/75. I just had a therapy session this morning and was in a great mood all morning and then it flipped just like that. My therapist gave me a bunch of info on psychiatrists because my gp wants me to see one but I am terrified of being put on an SSRI. Still going to try to make an appt and at least see what they have to say. Somethings got to give.
That’s a good idea. Why are you terrified of medication? I don’t know much about SSRI’s but if it helps, I’d consider it. I’m guessing being on them is better than drinking. Congrats on your sober time. I hope you’ve calmed down and changed your mind about stopping for wine on the way home.
gypsytears is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 10:48 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,961
Don't forget why you decided you needed to quit in the first place. From your first post to SR:

Originally Posted by JazV36 View Post
I'm worried that I might be doing some damage to my heart with my 2 bottles of wine a day habit, so I want to stop. The problem is I've been drinking starting in the morning to ease the palpitations, only to have them come back full force in the middle of the night. My anxiety issues are the reason I've become such a heavy drinker.
Alcohol wasn't working then. Won't work today--long term--if you decide to drink. Stay sober and address your anxiety from that stance.
doggonecarl is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 10:51 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
ShiftHappens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 533
Take it from me, a former anxiety queen that was diagnosed with cptsd and a full blown anxiety and panic disorder - drinking will at best delay the agony, and will then turn on you and create even more anxiety.

The cycle will never end.

Tell the doctor while youre there what youre experiencing. Maybe he can recommend something.

It took two low dose anti d's but Im 1000x better.

There are other ways.
ShiftHappens is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 10:53 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
38 days is fantastic!! So now you have to deal with anxiety.

I really hope you have not bought that stupid bottle of wine. If you are 38 days sober you know that you are lying to yourself to drink. You know the reasons you are giving to drink are just your addiction talking you into drinking. Right now you want to drink and you are trying to rationalise it.

But if you are sober, you know your anxiety was worse drinking. Drinking does not calm anybody's anxiety for long and makes it much worse once you got yourself a drinking problem.

I have found honesty a very good tool. Addiction comes with many levels of dishonesty and lying. I have promised myself not to lie. If I drink, I will do it because I am an addict and I give up. Because I want the drink more than the fighting, more than feeling my feelings. I will not give myself excuses. It has kept me very sober for over 4 months.

I suffer from anxiety too. I have ended up in ER too feeling like a fool. Drinking never improved the problem. However, it kept me further away from hospitals to hide my drinking problem and the terror of social services getting involved to protect my kids. I reread my last sentence and I want to die of shame. Above everything else, I don't want to get back there.

Good luck
BackandScared is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 10:56 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
Don't forget why you decided you needed to quit in the first place. From your first post to SR:



Alcohol wasn't working then. Won't work today--long term--if you decide to drink. Stay sober and address your anxiety from that stance.
Reread this!
BackandScared is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:03 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Just because you want to drink, doesn't make it a good idea.
Just because you want to drink, doesn't mean you have to drink.

I have struggled with anxiety and drinking used to make it much, much worse.

Drinking won't help anything.

I think you know that, deep down inside.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, but you'll feel worse if you drink.

Please take care of yourself.
CupofJoe is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:10 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
When you said you had librium I assumed you were in the early withdrawal phase - can I ask why you have them? Librium and diazepam are fine for me in withdrawal but if taken when sober I become insanely anxious. It's called a paradoxical side effect, just a thought.
daisy1 is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:17 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 104
Thanks everyone for the replies, especially the one digging up my first post. I am home now wineless. But oh boy did I want to but all of you are right. It would only make things worse in the long run. Thanks for being there when I need you
JazV36 is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:19 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
That's great! You won.
BackandScared is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:21 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by daisy1 View Post
When you said you had librium I assumed you were in the early withdrawal phase - can I ask why you have them? Librium and diazepam are fine for me in withdrawal but if taken when sober I become insanely anxious. It's called a paradoxical side effect, just a thought.
I was originally given Librium for withdrawal, yes. But after coming off of them after the withdrawal phase and the anxiety ramping up I visited my gp and he recommended that I go back on them for the time being. He also recommended me seeing a psychiatrist for further therapy. I have currently called every practice in my area and have potential luck with two, just have to wait to hear back from them. The reason I am terrified off SSRIs as someone asked is I’ve tried several kinds years ago and had terrible reactions to them. So not too keen on trying them again.
JazV36 is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:32 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
harriet11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 769
edit
harriet11 is offline  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:33 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
RIP Sweet Suki
 
suki44883's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,726
They have come out with new anti-depressants that have way fewer side effects. If the doctor suggests taking them, let him/her know which ones you tried before and how long ago that was. Anti-depressants literally saved my life and others here have said the same thing.

Congrats on 38 days and also for not giving in and buying the wine.
suki44883 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:12 PM.