So glad you made it home without wine Jaz. I am so sorry for all you went through earlier. I how that you can get your anxiety figured out.
Drinking absolutely does not help anything. Way to go getting AV to shut up. :hug:

I agree with Suki. Tell your doctor which antiD's gave you bad side effects in the past. There are so many new ones and one of them may be right for you. You'll never know til you try. :) AntiD's saved my life and improved my quality of life. :)

I am thrilled you did not get the wine. Imagine how you would feel waking up tomorrow morning with that headache and guilt.
I am on a SSRI and finally stopped crying and panicking. I noticed the difference on the first day. I really did enjoy the crying for 11 days at some times since it was cathartic and it really gave me the desperation I needed to put down the drink.
When you were on the SSRI in the past did you drink on them?
Just a thought now that you are clean and sober it may have a different affect. But that is between you and your Doctor
I am so proud of you for messaging us from the ER. And so happy you are sober.
I was in the ER three separate times in 7 days. You know why? Because every time I left the ER I drank as soon as I "walked" out the door by myself. I do not like ER's I do not want to go back there any time soon. Take care of yourself. You did the work today and asked for help. Tomorrow will be 39.

I was so against psych meds my whole life.

I was SO BAD... I needed relief and peace back desperately. I was DESPERATE

My doctor started me on one, and with rest and self care the desperation got a bit better, but it really wasnt doing the trick.

She added another one and in about a month I felt not just hope but excitement at the prospect of having a life again.

Try anything, but dont ever think alcohol will help.

You'll have a few hours of drinking and then more misery.

Jaz, I'm glad to hear you didn't drink. I know there were too many times I was in the hospital and went straight out drinking. It only got worse and I only got sicker until I finally quit.

You've mentioned a lot of other factors, that I relate to as well -
What are willing to consider, starting with getting suggestions and calling places, for support up to and including rehab? Dual diagnosis is common and tough but it can be addressed. My main issue as it has evolved in sobriety is anxiety. My awesome psychiatrist, a current therapist, and AA as well as a pastoral counselor with my husband are ALL part of my recovery worldview, ie my life.

For me, nothing was off the table when I got sober - except that my parents were done paying for stuff and said no to the expensive treatment center my drs found for me. I had AA or "nothing" and I quit cold turkey.

I had to be DONE completely, never to drink again, and then figure out how to fight and win the internal arguments, the ability to convince others to enable me, the urges and anxiety and everything else.

You can do it, too. It's just about how much we want it - when we want to be sober more than we want to drink, each day, we make progress.

Well done, Jaz! I’m glad you stayed true to your welcoming advice to me- to keep posting for continued support to help you through the challenges.

Yay for Jaz! This makes me so happy to read.

That's great Jaz! And I drank while on various meds, over time, and looking back, they certainly weren't as effective as they would have been (and are now) give that practice.

Drinking does not help anxiety, it just makes it worse. So you have a drink, you feel a bit calmer, but it doesn't last long. So you need more alcohol, to get more calm, but that doesn't last long, so what do you do now? You must drink more wine, oh look that's one bottle done. Now I'm feeling quite drunk, I'll carry on....anxiety? what anxiety? I'm on top of the ******* world......pass out....

wake up at 5am, impending doom, panic, terror, heart racing, why did i drink? I'm back at day 0 again. Oh my god, i'm useless, I need a drink to calm me down, i'm in withdrawals again. Take me to the ER.

Still want that glass of wine to calm you down?

I'm really glad to read through the while thread Jaz - well done :)

D

I'm suffering from anxiety too. It's horrible, and I'm frightened of the damage I might have done to my heart from twenty years' drinking. I am struggling to leave the house right now, and when I do I find I get tightness in my chest, a fast pulse.

On Friday I actually phoned an ambulance because I thought I was having a heart attack, only to be told it was a panic attack by the ambulance crew.

May I ask what it was that caused you to go to hospital? Were you frightened that you were having heart problems?

Do you mind me asking what caused you to go to hospital? Was it withdrawal or concern about something else? It's a relief to know I am not the only one feeling like this.

Good luck to all of you in the future.

This post is EVERYTHING!!

Yes primativo nailed it.

The vicious neverending nightmare that alcohol creates.