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Another agonizing day Lying in bed this morning. Paralyzed. Thinking about all of the great things in life I’m blessed with and how their importance is dwarfed by that four inch space between my ears. That constant churning. The obsessing. The focus on all that is bad and all that will be bad. It is all negative, it is all self defeating. What I wouldn’t give for someone to put their arms around me and tell me that it will be ok. I spent so much of my time pushing good women out of my life and those actions have come home to roost. What we put into the universe, we get back. Period. |
30 minutes later I’m 30 minutes through a great AA speaker Bob D and his 1hr share on Surrender (watching on YouTube) and I’m ready to at least get out of bed and pretend to be a human. Love to all of you. |
It WILL all be okay. It really will. I think it just takes some time and effort on your part. Getting out of bed is a great start. Try to stay in the moment and be mindful of your thoughts. Remember the thoughts don't control you. |
We all have a past good, bad and in-between, before, during and after our addictions. When we get into recovery, begin learning about addiction and its affects on our minds and body, then begin applying many healthy, affective recovery tools, knowledge, guideline to our everyday life, we begin the healing process. We begin to live a healthier, honest way of life sober, and the process of cleaning up the wreckage of the past and those we may have harmed along the way. Things in your own life will be restored as you continue on this sober journey in life moving forward. It wont happen magically over night, but it will begin to change for the better. Just remember, it took a many days of drinking and all that was tied to it to get you were you are today. So, in time, living a sober way of life, you will begin to see the hope so many of us are experiencing today in our own lives. Hope for a healthier, happier way of life with repaired relationships, jobs, and so much more this life offers to us as gifts we never take for granted which are also called blessings. Continue to learn and move further away from alcohol, poison that has cause so much distruction, like it has in so many lives. SR is filled with many caring and understanding folks and we are here for you with every sober day you achieve. :) |
Stay sober! :) It will get better. :hug: |
Getting out of bed and pretending to be human is good. I listen to AA speaker tapes on YouTube when I’m driving sometimes. I’ll search for the one you mentioned unless you have a link? Glad you’re feeling a bit better. |
Played adult today. Paid bills, went to work, ate some good meals, planned my day tomorrow, met a nice person on the boards. But man is my craving strong. I was 65 days sober and had very little cravings, next thing you know I was drunk and in jail, now the cravings are strong again. Day 5. |
Awesome job on five days. I’m glad you’re up and about. Have you tried a face to face AA meeting? I use to get a lot of hugs in AA. Met a lot of kind people. They do fun stuff too like camping, bowling, and meditation retreats. Couldn’t hurt. |
Originally Posted by newhope01
(Post 7281542)
Awesome job on five days. I’m glad you’re up and about. Have you tried a face to face AA meeting? I use to get a lot of hugs in AA. Met a lot of kind people. They do fun stuff too like camping, bowling, and meditation retreats. Couldn’t hurt. |
sounds like a way better day BABM :) D |
The Greek tragedian Aeschylus wrote, “He who learns must suffer, and, even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.” |
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
(Post 7281539)
Played adult today. Paid bills, went to work, ate some good meals, planned my day tomorrow, met a nice person on the boards. But man is my craving strong. I was 65 days sober and had very little cravings, next thing you know I was drunk and in jail, now the cravings are strong again. Day 5. If I was nearby I would wrap my arms around you! That will come when you feel good about yourself again...No woman is going to come thru the "darkness".... |
I feel you. Good job on day 5 bro. |
Originally Posted by gypsytears
(Post 7281447)
Getting out of bed and pretending to be human is good. I listen to AA speaker tapes on YouTube when I’m driving sometimes. I’ll search for the one you mentioned unless you have a link? Glad you’re feeling a bit better. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BLUVtuWJPRk |
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
(Post 7281705)
I find him kind of annoying, but he has a great message. I hope you enjoy. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BLUVtuWJPRk |
Originally Posted by gypsytears
(Post 7281716)
Thanks :). I listened to an old curmudgeon that was pretty entertaining. I think his name was Clancy. I’ll give this one a listen when I get a chance. I hope you continue on the upswing and have a good weekend. Thanks Gypsy. Have a good weekend too. I was saying today I wish someone would just throw their arms around me and I know exactly who will do that. So I’m driving two hours to surprise my three kids at their games tomorrow then take them shopping and to church. I have them next week anyway, but they are just so good for my soul and mom is cool whenever her schedule permits ❤️. |
Good to have you back & positive BABM enjoy your weekend with your kids 😊 |
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
(Post 7281564)
I do 3 meetings per week religiously. I love AA meetings most days. Sometimes we have to take small chunks of time, 15 min, 30 min, sheesh one even, like when I hold my breath and have to make myself start again. Glad you are sharing- one thing at a time today. I know that early on, tho it was weird and hard to "accept," some days if I "just" stayed sober - a shower or eating or laundry were only bonus things, added to the single most important victory. |
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
(Post 7281741)
So I’m driving two hours to surprise my three kids at their games tomorrow then take them shopping and to church. I have them next week anyway, but they are just so good for my soul and mom is cool whenever her schedule permits ❤️. |
How are you today Better Man? |
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