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My virtual arms are around you and it will be ok. Ok? |
I hope your visit to see your kids lifted your spirits. Thanks again for the link. I listened to it yesterday. |
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
(Post 7281331)
Lying in bed this morning. Paralyzed. Thinking about all of the great things in life I’m blessed with and how their importance is dwarfed by that four inch space between my ears. That constant churning. The obsessing. The focus on all that is bad and all that will be bad. It is all negative, it is all self defeating. What I wouldn’t give for someone to put their arms around me and tell me that it will be ok. I spent so much of my time pushing good women out of my life and those actions have come home to roost. What we put into the universe, we get back. Period. Great that you are going to meetings. I found that the more I learned about my addiction, the more tools I created to fight the fight. Whether it was communicating with another addict, reading or watching movies or YouTube stories about addiction...I changed my obsession of drinking to learning about why I felt the NEED to drink. It WILL get easier and easier. The key is to be prepared for the cravings and temptations that are in front of you. Every time I moved past a craving, or I went to a function where everyone around me was drinking...the stronger I became. The further away from your last drink, the easier sobriety becomes. Good luck and don't give up! Life is so much better without being chained to an addiction. CT |
August, Gypsy, Entropy and Creative One, Thank you all for your care and thoughts, your hugs and encouragement. Yesterday went just incredibly well. My twins and I had the kind of day we always have...awesome. Watched their soccer and basketball games, had lunch at MY favorite place (hey, I was the one paying lol), got Halloween costumes, got some school clothes, played at the park and just had a great day. They were SO excited to see me because I surprised them. My oldest is still a little distant for a few reasons and didn’t spend much time with us but she wanted to shop for bras so mom was best prepared for that anyway, haha. After I dropped them off I went and had dinner with a great friend and we mainly discussed our children, spirituality and my struggles with addiction. I went for 20 hours yesterday. Then today I went for 16 being so unbelievably active. I didn’t go to my meeting tonight because I was exhausted but I touched base with some folks from my home group and told them to expect me Tuesday. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety lately while I’m ramping back up on my lexapro which is to be expected. I have a lot of support in my life but I’m still in my head A BUNCH. I tried to listening to some recovery audio books on my long drives but it was draining me so I settled for the new David Spade book which really lifted my spirits. So nice to log in and see everyone checking in and n me. I’m trying to convince myself I deserve it. Best wishes to all. |
Really glad it went well. Be safe and keep going sober in this new week. |
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
(Post 7283175)
I’m trying to convince myself I deserve it. do it every time your in front of the mirror. make it a point to get in front of a mirror a few times a day. |
It sounds like you had a really fantastic day with your kids. That’s the best medicine in the world. Yes, better that your oldest went bra shopping with her mom. I remember having to go buy my son an athletic supporter for little league. Oh the hilarity that ensued. She’ll come around in time I’m sure. Dinner sounds like a positive too. Of course you’re deserving of these things and much more. Much easier to achieve when we’re sober :). |
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