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Another agonizing day

Old 10-04-2019, 09:13 AM
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Another agonizing day

Lying in bed this morning. Paralyzed. Thinking about all of the great things in life I’m blessed with and how their importance is dwarfed by that four inch space between my ears. That constant churning. The obsessing. The focus on all that is bad and all that will be bad. It is all negative, it is all self defeating. What I wouldn’t give for someone to put their arms around me and tell me that it will be ok. I spent so much of my time pushing good women out of my life and those actions have come home to roost. What we put into the universe, we get back. Period.
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Old 10-04-2019, 09:53 AM
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30 minutes later I’m 30 minutes through a great AA speaker Bob D and his 1hr share on Surrender (watching on YouTube) and I’m ready to at least get out of bed and pretend to be a human.

Love to all of you.
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Old 10-04-2019, 09:59 AM
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It WILL all be okay. It really will. I think it just takes some time and effort on your part. Getting out of bed is a great start. Try to stay in the moment and be mindful of your thoughts. Remember the thoughts don't control you.
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Old 10-04-2019, 11:17 AM
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We all have a past good, bad and in-between,
before, during and after our addictions. When
we get into recovery, begin learning about addiction
and its affects on our minds and body, then begin
applying many healthy, affective recovery tools,
knowledge, guideline to our everyday life, we begin
the healing process.

We begin to live a healthier, honest way of life sober,
and the process of cleaning up the wreckage of the
past and those we may have harmed along the way.

Things in your own life will be restored as you continue
on this sober journey in life moving forward. It wont
happen magically over night, but it will begin to change
for the better. Just remember, it took a many days of
drinking and all that was tied to it to get you were you
are today.

So, in time, living a sober way of life, you will begin
to see the hope so many of us are experiencing today
in our own lives. Hope for a healthier, happier way
of life with repaired relationships, jobs, and so much
more this life offers to us as gifts we never take for
granted which are also called blessings.

Continue to learn and move further away from alcohol,
poison that has cause so much distruction, like it has in
so many lives.

SR is filled with many caring and understanding folks
and we are here for you with every sober day you
achieve.
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Old 10-04-2019, 12:52 PM
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Stay sober! It will get better.
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Old 10-04-2019, 01:18 PM
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Getting out of bed and pretending to be human is good. I listen to AA speaker tapes on YouTube when I’m driving sometimes. I’ll search for the one you mentioned unless you have a link? Glad you’re feeling a bit better.
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Old 10-04-2019, 03:34 PM
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Played adult today. Paid bills, went to work, ate some good meals, planned my day tomorrow, met a nice person on the boards. But man is my craving strong. I was 65 days sober and had very little cravings, next thing you know I was drunk and in jail, now the cravings are strong again. Day 5.
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Old 10-04-2019, 03:42 PM
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Awesome job on five days. I’m glad you’re up and about. Have you tried a face to face AA meeting? I use to get a lot of hugs in AA. Met a lot of kind people. They do fun stuff too like camping, bowling, and meditation retreats. Couldn’t hurt.
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Old 10-04-2019, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by newhope01 View Post
Awesome job on five days. I’m glad you’re up and about. Have you tried a face to face AA meeting? I use to get a lot of hugs in AA. Met a lot of kind people. They do fun stuff too like camping, bowling, and meditation retreats. Couldn’t hurt.
I do 3 meetings per week religiously. I love AA meetings most days.
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Old 10-04-2019, 04:50 PM
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sounds like a way better day BABM

D
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Old 10-04-2019, 04:58 PM
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The Greek tragedian Aeschylus wrote, “He who learns must suffer, and, even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.”
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Old 10-04-2019, 05:33 PM
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Originally Posted by BeABetterMan View Post
Played adult today. Paid bills, went to work, ate some good meals, planned my day tomorrow, met a nice person on the boards. But man is my craving strong. I was 65 days sober and had very little cravings, next thing you know I was drunk and in jail, now the cravings are strong again. Day 5.
Wow this was a turnaround in a number of hours...it always amazes me how alcohol brings me to a deep dark depression and how quick I am ablet to snap out of it...Alcohol is like a smoke screen...hiding us behind it....Your in there...and you showed that today....Thank God.

If I was nearby I would wrap my arms around you! That will come when you feel good about yourself again...No woman is going to come thru the "darkness"....
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Old 10-04-2019, 05:37 PM
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I feel you. Good job on day 5 bro.
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Old 10-04-2019, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted by gypsytears View Post
Getting out of bed and pretending to be human is good. I listen to AA speaker tapes on YouTube when I’m driving sometimes. I’ll search for the one you mentioned unless you have a link? Glad you’re feeling a bit better.
I find him kind of annoying, but he has a great message. I hope you enjoy.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BLUVtuWJPRk
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Old 10-04-2019, 08:43 PM
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Originally Posted by BeABetterMan View Post


I find him kind of annoying, but he has a great message. I hope you enjoy.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BLUVtuWJPRk
Thanks . I listened to an old curmudgeon that was pretty entertaining. I think his name was Clancy. I’ll give this one a listen when I get a chance. I hope you continue on the upswing and have a good weekend.
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Old 10-04-2019, 09:58 PM
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Originally Posted by gypsytears View Post
Thanks . I listened to an old curmudgeon that was pretty entertaining. I think his name was Clancy. I’ll give this one a listen when I get a chance. I hope you continue on the upswing and have a good weekend.
I love Clancy. And Chuck C.

Thanks Gypsy. Have a good weekend too. I was saying today I wish someone would just throw their arms around me and I know exactly who will do that. So I’m driving two hours to surprise my three kids at their games tomorrow then take them shopping and to church. I have them next week anyway, but they are just so good for my soul and mom is cool whenever her schedule permits ❤️.
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Old 10-05-2019, 03:15 AM
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Good to have you back & positive BABM enjoy your weekend with your kids 😊
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Old 10-05-2019, 04:07 AM
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Originally Posted by BeABetterMan View Post


I do 3 meetings per week religiously. I love AA meetings most days.
Good habit- I am glad someone told me early to "go when you want to go, go when you don't, just go." Meetings are important to my recovery.

Sometimes we have to take small chunks of time, 15 min, 30 min, sheesh one even, like when I hold my breath and have to make myself start again.

Glad you are sharing- one thing at a time today. I know that early on, tho it was weird and hard to "accept," some days if I "just" stayed sober - a shower or eating or laundry were only bonus things, added to the single most important victory.
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Old 10-06-2019, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by BeABetterMan View Post


So I’m driving two hours to surprise my three kids at their games tomorrow then take them shopping and to church. I have them next week anyway, but they are just so good for my soul and mom is cool whenever her schedule permits ❤️.
dont you have a suspended license?
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Old 10-06-2019, 11:53 AM
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How are you today Better Man?
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