One last time
 

I'm back. Broken, bruised and have spent an horrific night vomiting but I'm back. I'm ready to do all I can to stay sober before this kills me. Thank god for this place.

I'm sorry you put yourself through that but I'm glad you're back Gabe.

any ideas yet on what 'ready to do all I can to stay sober' might mean in practice?

D

Hi Dee. It's lovely to hear from you.
Yeah, I have quite a few. I was going to AA for a bit and for me it seems like this might be a good place to start. I have the number of a lovely woman who I'm hoping might sponsor me.

I've got a first alcohol counselling app on Tuesday morning. I think I get 12 sessions and I need to talk about feelings of shame. I think thats a big factor in all this.

I've had a few months sober time but I still always end up back here and its terrifying. I came off antabuse and spiralled really quickly. I also know than when I take I don't take responsibiliy for my recover. It just all sucks and I hate it.

Phew....

Sounds like a good foundation tho Gabe - all the best :)

D

God, I really hope so 😰

Nothing will change unless things change. I'm sorry to hear that you're still drinking. It's been a couple years since the horrific incident on the side of the road that sent you here. How are things going to be different this time? Can you convince yourself and truly believe that you can never have another drink?

Good for you for coming back here. There is a better life waiting for you.

Hello and welcome back. Well friend lets give this another try yeah? Starting now. You can do this ✌

I've been asking myself the same thing. I don't have any belief that I can actually do it and I must be in denial. I MUST be. What I am doing is so dangerous, I'm lucky to be alive.

How do I accept this? How do I change from denial to acceptance. I've never managed to get there.

Agreed. Starting now. Thank you for the welcome 😄 it's not the easiest thing owning where I am just now but I've seen the forum work for so many people. I've never properly committed to any of this, I'm ashamed to say.

Hiya Gabe, I don't know you, and maybe you Scots are just very polite and reserved people, but this doesn't have the tone of resignation and determination I like to see in someone who's serious about their alcoholism and willing to do anything to get away from drinking.

Are you very sure you can't control your drinking?

Me? I was thoroughly beaten, in total surrender, and willing to do anything I was told.

It's a fair point. I definitely can't control my drinking once I start. Your right too. I don't feel that determination or have strength/belief this time will be any different. I feel utterly hopeless, if I'm honest. I'm just praying to God for a change of mindset and acceptance of reality.

You are still alive so you aren't hopeless.

You have started by praying. I love that. That's where I started.

Go back to AA, ask this woman to take you through the steps, commit 100% to your recovery and you wont ever have to drink again, one day at a time.

Thank you for your posts - I'm going to text her now. It's good to feel a wee bit more hopeful 😄

Me too!

welcome back, Gabe.
good to hear you are taking the texting step now and hopefully you will get on the further-steps-road with her.

Hello Gabe. Good to see you back.

Thanks so much everyone.

Welcome

support to you

Welcome back Gabe! Congratulations for your decision to take responsibility for your recovery. Sounds like you have already put a good plan in place