When I was in my final binge when I needed to go the doctor (several trips to my primary care and one to the psychiatrist....who said in no uncertain terms that I needed medical detox or I might die), I would drink nearly two bottles of wine, try not to throw it up in the Uber, and hope that it lasted long enough that the shakes and vomiting wouldn't start until I got home, then chug a bottle and try to hold it down long enough to stop the shaking which by this point was becoming violent.

I got it done.

BTW, medical detox takes care of most of the anxiety and insomnia because they give you a benzo taper.

It can be done.

Tetrax- what's going on now? I see you liked a number of folks comments since you started the thread but haven't piped up again. We care and are trying to help - let us know where you are (even if you know it's not what we're going to support).

Reading this brings back bad memories of alcohol induced anxiety during withdrawals. Waking up at 3am in a blind panic, feeling like I was losing my mind. It's terrifying.

You know what I did? I woke up one morning and arranged an appointment with my Doctor, I told them it was an emergency. I had drunk about two bottles of wine between me waking up at about 5am and about 9am when I went to the Doctor. I took some more wine with me in a water bottle, and drank it in the Uber on the way to the Doctors. Pathetic I know, but I did what I had to to allow me to make it over to the doctors.

Well, I did the whole night of withdrawal (Wednesday night). My hands were shaking, my arms intermittently. I had hallucinations in the dark of spider plants attacking me, furniture I tripped over that wasn't even there. And finally slept. At about 7am. Then I spent yesterday napping here and there and started to feel good. Then as I was preparing to go to bed tonight my housemates arrived from their bar jobs at around midnight being loud as anything and I was just like, 'I can't get sober in this damn house!' I had a glass of wine and now I'm on my fifth. Large. Sorry all.

No need to apologise to me. You're not doing any different than I did for years.

So...how do you see yourself quitting now?
what is it you think you need to make that happen Tetrax?

Is the moms place ideas still tenable?
D

Quitting is hard, staying quit is even harder. Being around others that are drinking does not help, but that in itself doesn't make it impossible.

Having said that, if you are truly serious about quitting you have to either quit using your surroundings as an excuse to drink, or change your surroundings.

You either want to stay sober or you don't. Stop making excuses.

I like what someone said about getting sober....”it’s not a free ride”. Drinking comes at a much higher cost and you already know that. Pay up now or pay more later. There’s no waiting for the right time because there will be no better time than now

Wishing you the best

Woke up at 9pm today. PM! This is getting insane.

I agree with Matrac.

You need to rip off this plaster - just do it ! You CAN do this - but if and only if you really, really want this.

Make your decision and commit to it.

It's already insane, Tetrax.

What is it you want us to say that we haven't said?

You know you have to quit. You haven't chosen to yet.

The final insanity is killing yourself with alcohol.

There comes a time with any sponsee I have, or an IRL friend or SR friend...or anyone...where I cannot be of service til that person is ready.

I can't be useful to you now -and each of us has to be available to folks who are ready to quit and use available help, and that is partly for our own sobriety. I don't have enough teflon in my head to keep banging it against a wall with someone determined to keep going on what they know is the wrong path.

I hope someone gets thru to you and you decide to be done.

A, peacing out.

Perhaps I am a hopeless case. But I've got depression and anxiety and am off sick from work because of it. My housemates partied till 9am today, though were considerate about it; they weren't too loud (though one of them had to ring the doorbell for me to let her in at 3am because she forgot her keys). Yes I make excuses to still drink. But my life is my life. The anxiety when I go without at least in this house is intolerable. I hate my house/life right now but I am utterly broke so there's not many options. It goes on...

I don; think anyones beyond hope Tetrax - but it takes making some different choices, man.

You're living arrangements don;t sound great but if you can;t move, you're going to have to get sober there.

Will it be hard - heck yes - but I've seen people on this website cope with worse and stay sober.

D

You will have depression and anxiety if you keep drinking. There is no hope of getting help or getting better or improving these conditions until you stop drinking.

it seems as though being off work enables you to keep drinking really. What are yu going g to do to stop?

as others have said if your living arrangements are intolerable then change them. If you're not going to change them then you need a plan to stop drinking in that environment. You have various choices but only you can take the steps you need.

I finally got sober when I stopped blaming my surroundings for making me drink, if only there was more of this and less of that I could stop I used to tell myself. Back then I wouldn't have stopped even if things were perfect. The problem was me and as soon as I accepted that it was a whole lot easier to stop.

Good luck :)

Only you can choose to not pick up--also, if money is tight, how can you afford to keep drinking?

I hope you choose sobriety. This addiction can be fatal in the end.

I often would get stuck in daily drinking cycles for weeks at a time because of the intolerable insomnia and anxiety. I could handle the physical withdrawal symptoms like shaky hands and nausea but the mental aspect was torture.

If I could make to 48 hours without a drink, I knew I was through the worst of it. Take it hour by hour if you have to. It's a tough call about work because, while you have to show up, you may be not in a presentable state.

Chin up! You can sober up. 2-3 days and you are well on the way.

Your situation is not unique. Not to be harsh but you are not unique. Here in SR there are now sober people who were in the same circumstances, had the same fear of insomnia and anxiety, same excuses to not see a dr, no money, roommates or partners enabling drinking on and on. Difference is they wanted to stop. Just try something different, no excuses, just do it. Go to your moms. Get up and on a bus to see a dr. You have to want to take the first step, just one. It's not easy but as you can see here, we are glad we took that first step. You can do it

Alcohol is a killer. Project out how you will feel if you keep going this path 5 years from now, even one year. It's not pretty.

Lots and lots of excuses there tetrax. And yep, it's definitely your life and you can absolutely do whatever you want. With one exception - you cannot drink without consequence.

All of the problems you list above , especially the anxiety and depression, are actually made worse by drinking - not better. And yes, it's going to suck for a while after you quit. And you may need to seek professional help for some of those other problems - especially the mental health issues.

So yeah, it goes on...until you decide that it doesn't.