Hi Rich,

I don't know if this is possible,but maybe Dropsie or Less do, I had a friend who put her house into a trust because she had an issue at work that involved a lawsuit. This may be something you can talk to a lawyer about as well. You may need money from the house to help with legal bills, but try to start making a list of questions you have, and work on an immediate plan. As well as one for the future. I also do not know if your car insurance covers anything DUI related, but all things worth talking to someone about.

Have you been able to find anything out about the other passengers? I would think the fact that it hasn't been in the news is a positive. I feel like our local news always has things like this on.

Sending lots of thoughts your way as you continue to work through this, I know you can, and although things are going to be difficult for a bit, there will be an end date in sight, and you will be okay. You've got IT skills, and you can continue he to use those. Keep going to rehab, keep talking to your lawyer, and try to keep grounded in things you can do today to continue to move forward.

Still have heard nothing about the other passengers. The accident was not in the local newspaper. I have been unable to find anything about the accident, or their condition.
My understanding is that since Florida is a Homestead state, my house cannot be taken in a civil suit. My understanding is the equity in the home is protected and I own the house and four acres free and clear.

Rich - I can't give you legal advice, but all I can say is get a best lawyer that you can afford. Walk in lock step with lawyer to get the best out of what is left. Thanks for sharing, this is an eye opener for lot of us here, just shows what alcohol is capable of.
You can't change what has happened or the mistake you have done. What you can do is pray to God to forgive you for hurting others and yourself. Try to get the best out of the rest. Be prepared mentally where ever your journey takes and pay your dues and make peace with yourself. There will always be good things that will come your way. Live on life's terms. Stay sober and stay strong. Good luck!

Best wishes Rich, to you and the other victim. I hope you can get a break on this as you do not sound like someone who is beyond redemption.

Update on injured party
 

Rich - I'm so sorry to read about your DUI. I had one with my son in the car and it was the lowest point of my life. No serious injuries to other party, myself or son thank God. I'm now 22 months sober, active in AA recovery - but I really had to want to be sober more than take a drink. Some days were shaky in early recovery but I did what was needed to protect my sobriety. Good on you for being in an outpatient program. Just keep doing the next right thing even when you don't want to.

Is your lawyer actively and urgently seeking an update on the extent of the other party's injuries? With going on a week soon it seems very odd that you haven't been briefed.

Also, make sure to talk to your lawyer and/or insurance agent (if you have one) about notifying your auto insurance carrier of the accident.

Someone else asked if an auto insurance policy would cover a DUI related incident and the answer is "yes". Companies would not be able to exclude liability coverage (essentially denying coverage to an innocent third party) because the person who was at-fault was under the influence.

I am a long time professional in the auto insurance industry... but every state has different insurance laws and I definitely have limited knowledge of auto insurance environment in Florida.

I cannot offer anything except support and prayers. thinking of you and hope you keep posting here or anywhere you feel comfortable.

Badge

I have contacted my insurance carrier and filed a claim for the accident.
Also, whenever I have asked the attorney about any information on the condition of the other people or the accident report, he keeps telling me I need to be patient and let things play out.
I suppose that means the accident report is not available, and as far as the other parties and their medical condition, I suspect HIPPA would prevent the hospital from releasing information on the other people, but I do not know exactly if that is true. I have not been charged with anything yet, so I guess that is when things get rolling.

Just do make sure to find a skilled lawyer. I'm sure your mind is running away and taking you to dark places but don't give up. Face what you've done but don't jump the gun and assume your life is over 'til you've had your day in court.:grouphug:

Rich: I don't have advice to offer but I want to thank you for sharing your story with us. You are going to recover from this. One day at a time. You are still young enough and will turn this around. Prayers for you......

Sending my support. Sorry you have to go through this, though with you and the other accident victim having survived i'd argue this wasnt the worst outcome. Make the best out of what you have

Hi Rich,
I read your story, thank you for sharing; that took some courage and a great 1st step sharing it on here. My thoughts and prayers are with you and everyone involved. All I can say is, you will get through this, your life is not over and when all the dust has settled life will get better.
Stay sober, reach out for as much support as you can find and focus on one day at a time. You will get through this...

My mother has often said, "Where there's life, there's hope". I've spent some time rolling my eyes at her "words of wisdom" but this was echoing through my head while I read this entire thread this morning, and I'm going to articulate what I think about it, with that quote in mind. Just saw this because I've been gone from the forums for a week, ironically because I was in FL for work all last week. Saw a few big trucks weaving around on and off I-75 while I was there, incidentally.

To preface it, you have said that you will never drink again, that you have tried in the past to get sober with varying short term success, and that you wish you'd enrolled in the program down the street before this happened. I completely understand your sentiment on the latter; you are in shock (you're still in shock by the way) and you are trying in your brain to undo what is done. In the same posts, you are talking about the financial hardships you'll be facing, the prison time you'll certainly be doing, etc. I get it. We all get it. It could have been, perhaps should have been, maybe has been, or God forbid could be any one of us in the past, present, or future, in your shoes. However, someone or ones out there are currently experiencing serious bodily injury for absolutely no reason other than your addiction's expression on that date. They could be recovering from a broken leg, spine, disfigurement, dismemberment, or in a coma or on life support. You don't know. But where there's life, there's hope. Right now it's not vehicular manslaughter. If they die as a result of those injuries it could be. I'm sorry to go there but it's true.

Sobriety is a lot more than not drinking, although it can't happen without not drinking. I'd wager that all of us have to learn gratitude, and the immersion of that is something that evolves. Sometimes we need a crash course. Maybe you need that right now. I'd focus on what you can be grateful for. It will get you out of self pity, take the focus off of you, onto a higher power as you understand it, and onto the real victim (s) here which are the person/persons in that car.

Right now those people are alive. And, you are alive. Yes, you could have enrolled in that program, but you didn't. You also could have been going a little faster, could have applied the brakes a little later, yada yada, and they and/or you could have been dead. Could have, would have, didn't.

All that is real is what is, right now. And I am praying for you in my own way. I am not praying for your finances. I am praying for you. This is my prayer:

May the people that Rich hit make a full and complete recovery, God willing. May Rich acquire the grace and serenity in sobriety that I know he can achieve. May this serve as a lesson for all of us. (It's already helped many here, thank you for posting, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.)

See how much your personal finances play into this? Money is a social construct we all live with, but it does not take the place of life. What would the victim's family think if they knew that you were thinking ahead a decade, imagining yourself going to SF because it's a better place to be homeless than FL, after financial ruin from illegal use of your truck as a dangerous weapon while under the influence? I'm not trying to be a jerk here, and I'd like to think I'm usually not a jerk here, I'm trying to help you see how your outlook informs your approach to sobriety when faced with the consequences of your alcoholism. Perhaps irrelevant because IMO that whole thought strain is such, but I've spent a lot of time in SFBA, and most of the homeless people on the streets there are not sober. Just food for thought.

You have played a huge role in someone's life, and will continue to. You will, to them, always be the drunk driver who hurt them. How you play that role, starting now, starts from the inside, with how you approach that role. There are literally infinite ways to approach it, but all of them fit on a 180 degree scale. One end of the scale is zero accountability, self pity, rationalization, and denial. The other end is full accountability, remorse, empathy, and grace. You seem to be pointed toward the latter for the most part but I felt compelled to point out that gratitude helps to move further in that latter direction.

"Where there's life, there's hope."

IF, God forbid, a person(s) die(s), there will still be life and hope, because you will be alive and you will be able, with the tools in sobriety, to accept the things you can't change, change the things you can, and use the wisdom you will acquire to know the difference between the two. I keep bringing this up because I think it is necessary to remember that there are still moving parts to this scenario.

I'm very moved by this post. Thank you again for coming here to share it, and thanks to all of the participants in this thread. It shook me, because it could have been me, because you and I are the same. I am praying for you, in the way I know how, as state above. My heart is wide open for you. I know you can get through this, and I hope that you do. Keep posting as long as you can.

In Gratitude,

bexxed

Your situation is part of God’s plan for you. Nothing happens by mistake.

I had a DUI conviction over a decade ago. I didn't do a course required to get my license reinstated within a certain timeframe so my license was suspended indefinitely. To get it back, I have to do a driver's test all over again.

Not bothering to get my license back has probably been beneficial because my alcoholism only got worse for the next 10 years and may have lead to more DUI's.

I have done many impulsive things/bad decisions over the years under the influence. I have had a few brushes with death and still drank. My drinking often is triggered by the shame and guilt I carry. It is very hard to sit with my emotions without wanting to numb them with alcohol.

I didn't hurt anybody with my DUI, but with all the things I have done over the years, I can get a sense of how you may be feeling right now. Just sending some support your way. Good luck with it all.

There is a video going around on FB where this woman crunches another car up in a parking lot. It takes her like three minutes to actually get out of that parking space and leave, during which time she crunches the car again, tries to put the hubcap back on, wipe the dent, tries to back out, etc. She looks totally wasted. I think back years ago, ripping off my own bumper when I ran into a guardrail while driving, and another time I shot through a light and smashed into another guardrail. Those were 30 years ago, but still horrify me. Rich, I hope things work out for you and the other party. And thank you for posting, because it will make people think twice about driving drunk.

My heart is with you, and I'm so sorry this has happened.

Cunning, baffling and powerful indeed. This can happen to any one of us. It's very brave of you to share, and hopefully this is God/HP cornering you into making the decision it sounds like you're ready to make.

My prayers are with you and the other person <3 stay strong.

How are you doing Ri ch?

Rich,

I want to see if I can give you some hope. My X husband did something VERY bad when he was under the influence. It was not a DUI, but very bad. That being said, I thought at the time he was done for. We got an attorney who handled the entire thing.

Here is what I will say. Yes, he was arrested. We waited until they had put the warrant out (we checked online multiple times a day). He went and turned himself in and posted his cash only bond (which we got back later on and turned over to the victim towards his costs), this took about 15 mins. He then was arraigned. Then court later with sentencing. In this state, there is a point system to see what your risk is to assess if you will be a repeat offender. That assessment included talking to myself as his wife, and a couple of family members. It also included how educated you are, a home visit to see your living situation, all sorts of things. That assessment decided on what level of probation he would receive. He then was supervised and checked in w/his PO every month (possibly every other, I cannot remember). It was not nearly as traumatic as I had thought it would be.

There is also an insurance coverage called Underinsured Motorists that will cover your own medical bills should the person who hit you not have enough liability coverage. Hopefully that other party had that coverage b/c in this state, the carriers do not normally go after the other party when they pay out that coverage. So that is an extra layer of coverage the other party may have had that will be of assistance for you possibly.

Since you were in the accident, request a copy of the police report (or get it from your insurance company who will also request it). This may show some details of the other parties injuries.

Lastly, a DUI in the insurance world is a DUI. It won't be any worse for your on your auto insurance how bad the DUI is. And in reality, people get them all the time.

Don't assume the worst. As your attorney said, take it a day at a time. This is only me sharing what little I know by events that have happened in my life. I don't live in FL and am unwilling to say on a public forum where l live. If you would like to PM me I can tell you.

I hope any of this helps calm you. The best thing you can do for yourself is stay sober.

To follow up on hopeful4's post...

FL is one of the few states that does not mandate the purchase of uninsured motorists coverage, which is unfortunate, but the other driver should have the coverage. They are required to carry personal injury protection... so they'll have some immediate coverage for their injuries if they have auto insurance.

Continued good luck!!

* Edit: I recall you said before that you reported this to your insurance carrier, which means your liability coverage will kick in before any UM coverage.

I will also say my X husband checked himself into an inpatient rehab before he was arrested which allowed him to report to the courts he was getting help.

I wish it would have stuck as he relapsed about a year later, and we later divorced. Take this seriously and get help.

I am so sorry for your situation.

For now I'm sure you just have to ride it out, one step at a time. You have a powerful story. One that, in time, I think you can share to great effect and great benefit to others. It may help you find some sort of peace within yourself as well. And using this experience in the future to do some good can certainly provide you with a means to hang on to staying sober, owning the situation, and navigating the tough times ahead.

No sugar coating, you are right. This is a game changer. But all the things you'll lose are just material things. Let's hope for the physical welfare of all parties involved - including yourself. We can rebuild from anything if we have our health.

Hang in there.

-B

hows it going rich?

D

Hi Rich,

I read your post and am so sorry. The shock will take a few days to wear off, I know from experience.

I had a DUI almost 6 years ago and I was also in an accident (my fault). Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt but the woman I hit did sue me/insurance company for emotional distress. I did have an attorney to guide me through the process and it was the best thing I ever did, so if you don't have an attorney, please get one and one who specializes in criminal defense as well as DUI. With the attorney's help, I was able to plead guilty into a first offenders program, which was out of the question under the circumstances because of my BAC. But the judge agreed to allow me into the first offenders program, which certainly had consequences, but not as severe as if I wasn't allowed into the program.

Best of luck to you and please keep us posted as to how you are doing.

Hi Rich,

Some great posts with people who have had similar situations, hope they are helping. Check in and let us know how you're doing.

Hi Rich. Just read your whole thread and my heart goes out to you. I too have driven over the limit but not that often severely drunk. But I could be you. Thank you for sharing your story. It has deeply affected me. Just make sure you have a great lawyer. I was destroyed in the family law court by not research ING my options with different lawyers before I picked one. I am praying for you. Please check in and let us know how you are going

Thinking of you rich xxxx

I'm so sorry, Rich. I know how scary it is waiting. I have a drink driving conviction too. I was nineteen and I stupidly decided to drive to buy more wine despite having drunk two bottles.

I nearly made it home. I lost control in the road only one mile away in quite a winding road. The car flipped and rolled a few times. Totally wrote my mother's car off. I got only a few bruises and scrapes. I was incredibly lucky. Lucky that I was not more seriously injured - the police later told me that in similar crashes people have died.

The only reason I wasn't more hurt is because I was so drunk I was totally floppy. And that at the moment I came down that road there were no other cars as it was in the early hours of the morning. If I had hit another car then the consequences would have been utterly hideous. I got a twenty month ban and a court fine and such a row from my parents I wondered if they would ever forgive me.

They did eventually. They even trusted me enough to insure me on my father's car when I was living with them in England. Did I respect that? Nope. I drove over the limit a few times. Not wasted but I would definitely have failed a breathalyser. It is a moot point though, over is over.

A second drink driving conviction would have completely screwed me over. My parents would have not forgiven me that time. I could kiss goodbye to emigrating to New Zealand and no licence for at least three years. The law in the UK is on your second DUI you get at least a three year ban.

I was so scared of that, so I just stopped bothering to drive altogether. I was permanently over the limit anyway. Didn't stop me doing it those few times again though. It was because I am an alcoholic and alcohol stripped away all sense of morality. I cared but clearly not enough to not do it again. I was bloody lucky to not get caught again and to get sober.

I could easily have been in your shoes so I don't judge you. We all have moments in our drinking days we regret and are not proud of, but the only thing to do is look forward. Please keep coming back here, we care, and want you to get through this.

I am not sure about the lawyer I have selected and retained. Every time I call, I get VM.
They keep telling me to wait until the charges are filed, but I see posts on the legal websites that this is bad advice.
So, how do you find the best attorney in the area for this sort of thing?
If anyone has any suggestion, I would be open to hearing it.

I still don't know the condition of the other people and the accident report has not been completed yet.

I am sitting and waiting, constantly checking to see if there is a warrant out for my arrest. The lawyer said not to turn myself in, unless I talk to them first, but if they don't answer the phone, just how am I supposed to do that.

I think it is time to look for someone else.

I would find someone else. Maybe message LessGravity to see if he has suggestions for searching for DUI lawyers in the area.