Hi Rich,

Like Hevyn and Mera I've been thinking about you all day. Just checking in to see how you're doing, and if you were able to find anything out about the passengers in the other vehicle.

I hope you check in Rich, and let us know how things are going today.

I’ll keep praying for you Rich. This story really got to me.

Thank you all for the encouraging words. It really means a lot, and I am not just saying that, it means a lot. Those of you who said I was in shock, are correct.
I had been like that since I got back from the hospital, they gave me a ton of pain medication, but I didn't get it filled. I have been so mad at myself for doing this. It has been hard to eat or sleep since this happened, but I am finding that I am winding down some and it may be because the adrenaline levels can only stay so high for so long.
I had been able to only nod off for minutes at a time, but I am sleeping a little better. I wake up and for a few seconds, everything seems normal, then reality sets in again and I realize once again the magnitude of what I have done.
There are two reasons I came here, one was to get the encouragement from people who know where I am coming from and where I have been, and secondly, I hope anyone sitting on the fence, will see this and see that NOTHING about alcohol is good. It can happen in an instant, and there is no taking it away.
Part of the anxiety in all of this is knowing they are coming after me, but I don't know when. I am not a fugitive or anything, but they are going to issue a warrant for my arrest, once the crash investigation is complete.
Thanks for the concern everyone, I appreciate it.
Still have found nothing about the other people involved. I have looked everywhere and asked everyone. Honestly, I could be just seeing things not there at this point, but it worries me no one has said "they are ok"

There is nothing on this earth that would make me take a drink right now. I start an outpatient substance abuse program on Tuesday and I am going to do everything I possible can to be successful. Thanks for asking.

I am glad that you are starting to feel a little bit better. And, I can imagine that the not knowing when the arrest warrant will come and not knowing what happened to the other person, would be so difficult.

I'm glad you checked in and I hope that you can get some rest.

Mission accomplished! Thanks! I had the flashback "what if" moment when you posted this. Specifically, "what if I hadn't seen that person crossing a dark street" when I drove impaired one time. Reading this story as it unfolds really made me pause and think. Thanks again and best of luck to you.

Rich

A couple years ago I was at a friends house drinking wine and I had driven my children there separately from my boyfriend . We were all having such a great time, I didn’t notice that everyone else had switched to water about an hour before it was time to leave. I just kept drinking wine .

Before I knew it, it was 11 PM and the host and hostess were yawning. ‘ Oh no, I have to go. I’m past my welcome! ‘ I could feel my words slurring. My boyfriend asked, “are you OK to drive?“ And I said “of course! I am fine!“

So he pulled out a breathalyzer and I blew .18

He shamed me in front of the host and hostess, saying how could I think I could drive my children and possibly lose my nursing license and my drivers license and kill me and my kids and possibly somebody else?

I couldn’t answer him then.... I could answer him now. Because I am addicted to alcohol.

Needless to say I sat there for an hour and a half, pounding down water and keeping the hostess up way past her bedtime, until my alcohol limit was .07, the legal limit for a driver in the United States .

I’m well aware I could be in your shoes. I’m sorry.

We are all on the same page here.

Never again. NEVER. N E V E R.

Hugs to you

Agreed. Those words stuck out to me and struck me to my core. Thank you, Rich, for including that message, despite what you are going through at the moment. I wish the best for you and all involved in the accident.

Relieved to hear from you, Rich. You'll be in my prayers & I hope you can sleep. Try to fill us in if at all possible - we are your friends & we care about you.

The story just keeps getting worse.
I am going to be charged with felony DUI with severe bodily injury. This is classified as a violent crime by the Florida Department of Corrections, which means I will be housed with the worst criminals in the Florida prison system.
I just can't believe this. I am not a criminal, how am I going to deal with this?
I just cannot believe that my life has been so totally and completely destroyed like this.
I was hoping for a minimum security classification, but there is no way now.

I'm really sorry.

I'm not really familiar with the US system, but hopefully your lawyer will be able to successfully argue that a maximum security facility is not appropriate for you,

D

Rich,

LessG and I are both lawyers.

It sounds to me like you either don't have a lawyer or s/he is not good or you are not communicating with them enough. Get a good one specialized in this exact problem. Do the research as to who is good. Spend the money. I am originally from Florida -- where are you located?

Do not let your guilt, which is well placed, stop you from acting to do the best to minimize the damage to you. You are still worth saving. We all are.

You seem like you are letting the fear and guilt paralyze you but now is not the time for that. You need to get in front of this. Now. An arrest warrant is not a conviction, there is still a lot of room for a good lawyer to maneuver.

Yes, su$ks. For everyone. But you have decided to stop drinking, which is the important thing.

Now use the rest of your sober life to do good. Like any of us, I did something similarly stupid once. No-one was hurt, thank God. But it was the slap in the face I needed.

Dont drink ever.

This. ^^^^

Thank for these words, Dropsie.

Rich,

Fear feeds more fear. Gratitude lists are powerful and can help. It may take time, yet repeatedly writing gratitude lists can make for big changes.

I am grateful you are here. I'm grateful you're alive.

Prayers for those injured. I'm grateful they are alive.

I agree... charged does not mean convicted. This is obviously hard to do, but I would not make any speculations until talking to your lawyer.

Rich,

I am sorry, I now see you have retained a laywer, but if so, why dont you know the aswers about the victims? How did you find the lawyer? Does s/he strike you are great, cause s/he should be. You have some important decisions to make about how you hande this legally, make sure he is the right partner for that process. What is his experience, success rate and what he is going to do for you? Is he conncected? any chance of having the charge redued etc etc?

Re fees, as you know, money is the least of your problems right now. Not unusual that there is not a fixed fee to the end of the case, but you should know his hourly rate, a range of fees -- in the end price alone should not drive this, but he should be upfront about fees and fee ranges.

Bottom line is -- (1) why dont you know the condition of the others involved? (2) is he trying to actively negotiate a lesser charge? (3) is he connected? (4) how are you going to communicate with him and when to build a strategy? (5) is there anything to fight (there often is) or is it better to place nice??

Your lawyer may be great, probabaly is, but these are all crucial questions.

You also need to totally lose the self pity, the judge will see this a mile away. I know its hard, you will lose a lot, but it could have been so much worse and in the end, your life could be so much better than if this had never happened.

Where ever you are, its where you need to be. Even when it totally stinks! I believe that now.

Feel free to PM me.

I'm not a lawyer yet, I'm in law school, so this doesn't qualify as legal advice.

Stop, breathe, try to relax, and get a lawyer that specializes in DUI's or criminal defense. No price will be too high. Odds are with a good lawyer you will get to plead to a lesser charge. Unfortunately, from what you say, you meet all the elements of DUI-serious bodily harm.

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I wouldn't use this as an opportunity for self pity though. Thinking of the victim and how to reconcile what you did will help you heal personally and help your legal battles. If you are truly worried about your future, legally and financially, the best thing you can do is sober up and show the court and victim/ victim's family you are truly sorry.

Get a good lawyer and you might still serve jail time but it won't be four years in a max facility. Prosecutors aren't sadists; they will realize you aren't a violent threat and just a dumb drunk. Good luck.

Very frightening situation..can't say how many times I've driven drunk...by the standard of law... with an exception of a few weeks here and there...almost every day for the last ten years. Been caught twice. Both for a seat belt check. Usually I just disregard the thoughts that come up in my head...what if I had an accident...what if I hurt someone....your experience has definitely caused me pause to think...thank you..

I'm sorry that you're facing this Rich. The advice you're getting is crucial- you really need a good lawyer. You did something terrible and someone was badly hurt. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve good counsel. Cases like this are very often plead out to reduced charges. You really need a good lawyer to keep this from making things even worse than they already are.

I am truly sorry you are going through this. As others have said, it could have happened to most any one of us. I don't say this to be harsh or rude, but...yes, you are a criminal. You drove while drunk, which is a crime. You injured an innocent party; how badly, you do not yet know. Now, you will have to face the consequences of your actions. We all do, at some point.

I had to admit to myself that I was a criminal when I got a DUI several years ago. Thankfully, I did not harm anyone, so I wasn't facing any real jail time, but it was very traumatic for me since I had previously never ever been in trouble with the law.

I truly hope your consequences aren't as drastic as what you fear they will be, but that will probably somewhat depend on the severity of the injuries to the other party. I remember when I was waiting to see the judge to set bail at the police station the morning after my arrest, one of the guys who was also waiting was told by the judge that he had killed two people the night before while driving drunk. The guy didn't remember a thing about the accident. I cannot imagine the horror of waking up in jail and finding out you killed two people.

I know you are scared to death, but you will get through this. It will definitely cost a lot of money and take a lot of time, but you will get through it. I will keep you and the injured party in my prayers.

Sorry this happened. For everyone involved. But one thought about the legal fees. Why are you worried what the lawyer will charge you? Since any remaining money will go to the victim that you injured after they sue you it's really not going to help you at all to save money on legal fees. Even if you somehow avoid prison or get to minimum security it seems to me that the victim will have a slam dunk case in civil court to take every penny you have. In this case it is in your interest to spend as much as you need on the best lawyer available to you while you still have the money.

The language of AAPJ's post is not consctructive (and largely incorrect), but the sentiment is -- get a good lawyer. Full stop. End of story.

Will reply to your PM.

And most importantly, do not drink.

I know criminal and civil courts are different, and I have heard others say, I might be able to plead to a lesser charge.
But, if my situation is a slam dunk to take every penny I have (something I am anticipating), then why would any judge allow me to plead to a lesser charge?
This place is different in that it is a good old boy culture and this type of thing doesn't happen a lot around here.
It will be high profile in the law enforcement circles and I believe the judge will make an example of me. If anything, I will get more than the minimum allowed for this which I believe is 51 months.
If the people are still in the hospital and hurt pretty badly, I could get ten years, if not more.

Good to see you checking in Rich. And I am really glad to hear you are sober.
You are getting ahead of yourself here. Understandable, I did too for my DUI and often do in other situations. But it does not serve us well. You need to get with your lawyer and listen carefully to the information and advice they provide you. You need to ask questions and get answers.
I would press for information on the condition of the other people involved, for me personally this would be important to know. It is strange that after a week you have no information on this.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don't get too ahead of yourself thinking about all the things that could happen. Focus on what you know you can do today- stay sober and listen to your lawyer.
I will continue to keep you in my thoughts.

Ignore AAJPs comment entirely.

If you want to speak, though not in any lawyer/client relationship, but as a friend, PM me. I've dealt with both the criminal and civil aspects of this.

Drop is right - your lawyer needs to have the answers to your questions.

Tough row to hoe ahead man. Keep your head down and start making the hard decisions. Be careful what you post here or elsewhere about the nature of your accident or anything else frankly.

Nothing useful to add here but thanks, Rich, for your honesty and I'll also add this could have easily been me - I drank drove several times during my last relapse and was probably over the limit on many, many mornings-after.

I can't begin to imagine how you feel. Please do keep us posted.

If a member's comments upset you, please use Ignore, rather than posting on the boards.

Thank you for sharing your story. It is brave and for sure helps remind me of how very easily I could have been right where you are. I am shocked at my own irresponsibility and lack of awareness.

I am with Less on this. Get a good attorney. Try to stay away from 'assumptions' and 'conjecture'. I know that's really hard for sure. I don't know if you have kids but if you do then you have a will and trust. Speak with your elder attorney about moving assets into some kind of special trust, irrevocable or what have you. I dunno. This is most definitely NOT advice of any reliable kind. But there are ways to 'hide' assets but ya better get cracking. I've moved my parents assets, for different reasons, but got started years ago so the point may be mute.

LG would be a good one to PM.

Most of the problems you are mentioning are out of your control. Focus on what you can control. Stay sober and talk to a lawyer see what your options are. That's all you can do.

Self-pity is only going to make the situation worse. Trust me I know.

Rich, I'm praying for you to get valuable advice from your lawyer, & to rise above this terrible time. You can still have a great life in spite of what's happened.

Thanks to all who offered supportive and constructive advice - it's so kind of you to take time to help Rich, so he doesn't feel alone.