Feeling very low and probably in danger
 

I posted awhile back about a job I got with a landscaping company that specialized in block, stone and paver stuff. This kind of work is high dollar and requires expensive equipment, but you can really transform a property. The guy that hired me would rather be on the job than doing administrative work like getting permits, meeting with architects, estimating, sales and so on. It was part time, low wage and no benefits but I loved it. I like running around coordinating work efforts etc....

So I hurt my back badly last week (Monday night) and I was laid up for 3 days. It was so bad I was stuck on the top floor of my house for 2 1/2 days and needed a walker to go from the bed to the toilet.

I was fired for missing work and he has a 0 tolerance policy for that. I was stunned. He also said I had a lot to learn about the landscaping business. Keep in mind I had my company for twice as long as he's been in business. I'm really low right now.

So sorry to hear about this, and I hope you’re feeling better.

Is it legal for him to fire you for getting hurt on the job? That sounds more like a lawsuit against him! Perhaps some others can offer a bit of guidance on that topic.

Do you feel triggered to drink because of this? Is a support system in place for you to lean on during this tough time?

Yes, that sounds illegal Jeff. I understand feeling low, and in a low sport myself. But I am finding taking tiny positive steps each day has been helpful. Maybe just researching from home the laws in your state or if you feel empowered, making a call to a lawyer and getting in for a consultation.
Please don't drink Jeff. Please.

I'm sorry this is happening. Drinking will only make this situation soooo very much worse and it certainly won't help you feel better physically. I know that you can move on from this - don't give up -

Hello, Thomas11

Sounds like the guy might be intimidated by you, or he could just be an a**hole, or he's figured out a way to make more money without you being there, or, or, or, or, or - who knows? Based upon just the facts you've laid out, the way you were let go isn't fair. When I first got sober I applied for a job, and like you, had had more experience than the person interviewing me. I didn't get the job and I was highly upset. I truly felt like my life depended on that job, close to home, good money, benefits, etc. My sponsor asked me to write him a letter and thank him for his time he spent interviewing me. I didn't want to. I kept telling her, but you don't understand. But I wrote a simple letter thanking him for his time. Guess what happened. I prayed about it, mostly that I'd stop resenting him because it was eating me up. Not long afterwards I applied for a job and they hired me out of 1,100 other resumes. So I'd say when you apply for another job you're going to find somebody who appreciates your talents. Just don't drink "at" him.

Thomas11 didn't say he got hurt on the job. All he said was Monday night...

I've been fired unfairly from jobs. All I could do was accept it and look for something else.

If you're still in pain a lot of this will seem bigger and more unmanageable than it will once you're able to be up and about again. Chronic pain will do that.

How about binge watching some action adventure series where the good guy wins.

You're a good guy.

You'll land on your feet...soon.

Don't drink at it.

Sorry to hear that. Like Bimini said, you’ll land on your feet so don’t drink on it!

I’m betting you can find a job doing the same stuff fairly quickly if you wish once you are up and about.

Aw Jeff I'm so sorry. There will be other jobs. And the guy sounds like a butt head so maybe its a bullet dodged.

The back thing sucks big time. A walker? Yikes. Watch out for those pain meds my dear! I have back and hip problem and it sucks a bag of you know whats. You have my sympathies.

Its hard but this too shall pass. A big part of staying sober for me is knowing that sometimes I just feel like poop. And there really is no way around it other than through it. And when I'm physically hurting, as well as mental, that just compounds things.

Hang in there. I can assure you that drinking or using will not help one little bit. That whole thought process is a lie.

I am so sorry to hear all of this, Jeff.

Hope that you concentrate on getting well and taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally. I have the utmost respect for, and confidence in, you. You are. Strong and wise man. These events don’t have to be risky to your sobriety.

You will find something else. Of that I am certain.

Stay close to us.

your boss sounds like a real tool. Hope you can heal up in short order and get back to work soon. My back goes out every so often and I find these exercises will put me back in no time. Try this link:

https://orthoinfo.aaos.org/en/recove...g-program-pdf/

I think landscaping and brick/paver work is an art form! I hope you can land a job right out the gate. Hoping you can resist going to the drink. Be strong!

Jeff, I'm really sorry that you hurt your back so badly. It's awful that your boss fired you. Did he understand your situation?

I hope you feel up to job hunting before too long. It will probably make you feel better to be out there seeking employment.

Whatever happens, it's not worth drinking over.

in At Will states an employer can fire an employee for (almost) any reason and an employee can quit for same.

i'm sorry you hurt you back jeff. i swear there is no worse pain. and i'm sorry the job went as a consequence.

but you are skilled and willing and can probably do just about anything!! make SURE your back is fully rested and healed up before seeking another job. this could be the Universe telling you something.....like slow down, take it easy, be nice to your back!!!

don't drink over it, for pete's sake.

Let your back recover properly and you can pretty much guarantee there will be another job opportunity; all the experience you seem to have will make you a very desirable commodity. No drinking though! It won’t help your back heal: instead, it’ll create inflammation that will dramatically slow the rate at which you recover. Best to you and keep the ice going.

Sorry to hear that Jeff, glad you came here to talk about it first. You know drinking right now is without question the absolute worst possible decision you could make, no matter how bad the other circumstances might be.

Don't take what he said about your skills to heart, you know your capabilities and what he may or may not have said is irrelevant at this point. Yes it doesn't feel good but it's not something you can control and resentments will only hurt you.

My guess is that he's not someone you would want to keep working for anyway so I'd seek assistance in unemployment or disability that can help you now.

Jeff, I was just reading an article this morning about how physical injuries cause emotional distress, depression, etc.

Adding to that, you have been unfairly fired!

It's no wonder you are feeling low. :grouphug:

You have made such great strides in your recovery, managing all of the big life changes that came your way. I have been cheering you on from afar as long as we both have been here (and even before I signed up, when I visited as a guest first several times!).

This is tough, Jeff, but I have seen great things come out of the lowest of low places.

Whatever you do, please keep your sobriety front and center. You will overcome this.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Hi Jeff,

I'm so sorry you hurt your back, and lost your job on top of that. I know you, and know that you will move on to find something even better.

I'm glad you came here and posted instead of drinking.

Do you have any contacts from your old business who may be able to point you in the right direction to find a better position?

I'm concerned for you. Two posts in about a two month span about you being in the "danger zone" of drinking...this one and https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-slope.html.

I hope you can re-engage with what strengthened you before.

Back issues are probably some of the worst pain I've ever experienced and that includes broken bones. There's no reason to drink at it though. I can understand his zero tolerence policy to a point, from being in the construction field, being left shorthanded in the past and missing a deadline,thus me 'somewhat' addopting the same policy..Although I'd be a bit more leniant if it wasn't a new guy or extenuating circumstances happened. There will be other jobs and the sun will still come up tomorrow,so be ready to face it still sober.

Thanks Biminiblue, you are correct, I did not get hurt on the job. I hurt my back at the gym.

Hi Scott, to address your first sentence, I have been told multiple times that I am a horrible drunk, so I think drinking would not be the answer. I appreciate the feedback.

im not sure how it is in minnesota( thats what MN is,isnt it? ) but the job market for skilled trades is huge. hopin that with this door closing another one will open for ya.

It doesn't really matter how "bad" of a drunk any of us are really. My response was directed at your comment of being "in danger". I assumed that meant that you were in danger of drinking - and I was replying to reinforce the gravity of making that choice, nothing more or less.

I have the urge to get drunk right now. But I keep thinking about what people have told me since I got sober and how horrible I was when drinking. I don't want to go back to that.

Battle that urge, my friend. Flex your sober muscles. Drinking will only make you feel worse.

I think that's a wise choice. I remember very clearly what happened last time you went out and got drunk too, and it was not pretty at all. Stay close to your support here and pull on any you have locally too.

Also try to remember all of the positive things that have happened in your life since you quit drinking. The negative consequences can be a deterrent, but the positives you gain by staying sober are the real deal so to speak. Think of all the others you have helped here over your time sober too, that's quite an accomplishment.

excellent!!
one thing im certain of for myself is there is another drunk in me.
one thing i am uncertain of is if there is another recovery in me.
its just not worth the risk to find out.
not only that, getting polluted never solved anything. one thing recovery has shown me is there will be times not very comfortable- times i have to go through and allow myself to feel. thats how growth happens.

Hi Jeff - I'm sorry bro. Our bodies and other people get a lot less forgiving as we get older.

One thing I've learned for sure is - I'm a good man -I don't have to punish myself anymore - which is what any of us would be doing if we were to entertain that crazy thought of drinking.

Drinking at people never works - even when that person is yourself.

I have no doubt you'll find another job.

Be careful at that gym too - you've got nothing to prove man :)

D

Hey buddy get that back healed up properly and then forget about this situation. It's history and you have a great future if you want it. Please don't drink as that REALLY brings on self pity and the outcome would be awful. Just think about how bad that sickening headache feels as opposed to fresh morning air with a good cup of coffee. Come on partner move on and up!

Jeff, you've been on these boards about the same time I have. I remember your story so well and your early struggles that developed into one of the best examples around here of turning things around. You are a truly resilient character with a lot of insight and capability to self-reflect, learn and grow.

I hope you take this the right way and don't think I'm belittling how horrible this recent news it, but you have been through more and come through it. This job doesn't sound the right one for you because the fellow is an intolerant d!ck and your skills will land you the right one.

BTW, zero tolerance for injuries to workers (no matter how they happen) - that belongs in the sweatshop era of the Industrial Revolution.

In every state of Australia, what he did would be illegal if you're on an employment contract or even a consultancy contract that resembles an employment contract. He would be looking at a huge pay out to you for unlawful termination. Here, you CANNOT terminate an employee who has missed work due to injury. If it happened here, I'd say to him, mate, are you crazy or do you just like to walk on the wild side of the law? It's worth just getting a consultation from a lawyer on that one.

All the best Jeff. Thinking of you. You're tough!!

maybe look at it this way....the "desire" to get drunk over something is really just our brains seeking a solution......it's just that for so long we had A solution for EVERYTHING.

so now, you brain is wanting you to DO something....it's noticed your anxiety levels are elevated, that your pain levels have been peaking, that you have a general sense of doom and malaise. these are all alerts. address them......deal with them.......feel them. allow yourself to go thru a disappointing situation and not do anything stupid.