Feeling very low and probably in danger - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-28-2018, 10:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,187

Feeling very low and probably in danger


I posted awhile back about a job I got with a landscaping company that specialized in block, stone and paver stuff. This kind of work is high dollar and requires expensive equipment, but you can really transform a property. The guy that hired me would rather be on the job than doing administrative work like getting permits, meeting with architects, estimating, sales and so on. It was part time, low wage and no benefits but I loved it. I like running around coordinating work efforts etc....

So I hurt my back badly last week (Monday night) and I was laid up for 3 days. It was so bad I was stuck on the top floor of my house for 2 1/2 days and needed a walker to go from the bed to the toilet.

I was fired for missing work and he has a 0 tolerance policy for that. I was stunned. He also said I had a lot to learn about the landscaping business. Keep in mind I had my company for twice as long as he's been in business. I'm really low right now.
thomas11 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (06-28-2018), Anna (06-28-2018), BDTL (06-28-2018), biminiblue (06-28-2018), ChloeRose63 (06-29-2018), Culture (06-29-2018), Delilah1 (06-28-2018), Ladysadie (06-28-2018), Mireille (06-28-2018), MissPerfumado (06-28-2018), MythOfSisyphus (06-29-2018), saoutchik (06-28-2018), Tatsy (06-29-2018), Trelkovsky (07-07-2018), tursiops999 (06-28-2018), Verdantia (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 10:56 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
So sorry to hear about this, and I hope you’re feeling better.

Is it legal for him to fire you for getting hurt on the job? That sounds more like a lawsuit against him! Perhaps some others can offer a bit of guidance on that topic.

Do you feel triggered to drink because of this? Is a support system in place for you to lean on during this tough time?
VigilanceNow is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to VigilanceNow For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), Delilah1 (06-28-2018), hopeful4 (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Meraviglioso's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Italy
Posts: 4,009
Yes, that sounds illegal Jeff. I understand feeling low, and in a low sport myself. But I am finding taking tiny positive steps each day has been helpful. Maybe just researching from home the laws in your state or if you feel empowered, making a call to a lawyer and getting in for a consultation.
Please don't drink Jeff. Please.
Meraviglioso is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Meraviglioso For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), Delilah1 (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:06 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
soberclover's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,045
I'm sorry this is happening. Drinking will only make this situation soooo very much worse and it certainly won't help you feel better physically. I know that you can move on from this - don't give up -
__________________
Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
soberclover is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to soberclover For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018), Trelkovsky (07-07-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:07 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 348
Hello, Thomas11

Sounds like the guy might be intimidated by you, or he could just be an a**hole, or he's figured out a way to make more money without you being there, or, or, or, or, or - who knows? Based upon just the facts you've laid out, the way you were let go isn't fair. When I first got sober I applied for a job, and like you, had had more experience than the person interviewing me. I didn't get the job and I was highly upset. I truly felt like my life depended on that job, close to home, good money, benefits, etc. My sponsor asked me to write him a letter and thank him for his time he spent interviewing me. I didn't want to. I kept telling her, but you don't understand. But I wrote a simple letter thanking him for his time. Guess what happened. I prayed about it, mostly that I'd stop resenting him because it was eating me up. Not long afterwards I applied for a job and they hired me out of 1,100 other resumes. So I'd say when you apply for another job you're going to find somebody who appreciates your talents. Just don't drink "at" him.
djlook is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to djlook For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), Delilah1 (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), MissPerfumado (06-28-2018), Rar (06-29-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018), Trelkovsky (07-07-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:07 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 18,524
Thomas11 didn't say he got hurt on the job. All he said was Monday night...

I've been fired unfairly from jobs. All I could do was accept it and look for something else.

If you're still in pain a lot of this will seem bigger and more unmanageable than it will once you're able to be up and about again. Chronic pain will do that.

How about binge watching some action adventure series where the good guy wins.

You're a good guy.

You'll land on your feet...soon.

Don't drink at it.
__________________
The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea.
~ Isak Dinesen
biminiblue is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), Delilah1 (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), Mireille (06-28-2018), MythOfSisyphus (06-29-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018), tomsteve (06-28-2018), tursiops999 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:34 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
yinzer's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 772
Sorry to hear that. Like Bimini said, you’ll land on your feet so don’t drink on it!

I’m betting you can find a job doing the same stuff fairly quickly if you wish once you are up and about.
yinzer is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to yinzer For This Useful Post:
thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:35 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 4,878
Aw Jeff I'm so sorry. There will be other jobs. And the guy sounds like a butt head so maybe its a bullet dodged.

The back thing sucks big time. A walker? Yikes. Watch out for those pain meds my dear! I have back and hip problem and it sucks a bag of you know whats. You have my sympathies.

Its hard but this too shall pass. A big part of staying sober for me is knowing that sometimes I just feel like poop. And there really is no way around it other than through it. And when I'm physically hurting, as well as mental, that just compounds things.

Hang in there. I can assure you that drinking or using will not help one little bit. That whole thought process is a lie.
entropy1964 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to entropy1964 For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), Delilah1 (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), Rar (06-29-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018), Trelkovsky (07-07-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 113,994
I am so sorry to hear all of this, Jeff.

Hope that you concentrate on getting well and taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally. I have the utmost respect for, and confidence in, you. You are. Strong and wise man. These events don’t have to be risky to your sobriety.

You will find something else. Of that I am certain.

Stay close to us.
SoberLeigh is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:50 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 531
your boss sounds like a real tool. Hope you can heal up in short order and get back to work soon. My back goes out every so often and I find these exercises will put me back in no time. Try this link:

https://orthoinfo.aaos.org/en/recove...g-program-pdf/

I think landscaping and brick/paver work is an art form! I hope you can land a job right out the gate. Hoping you can resist going to the drink. Be strong!
Ladysadie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ladysadie For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:54 AM   #11 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 52,438
Jeff, I'm really sorry that you hurt your back so badly. It's awful that your boss fired you. Did he understand your situation?

I hope you feel up to job hunting before too long. It will probably make you feel better to be out there seeking employment.

Whatever happens, it's not worth drinking over.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), Delilah1 (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 11:59 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
AnvilheadII's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,507
in At Will states an employer can fire an employee for (almost) any reason and an employee can quit for same.

i'm sorry you hurt you back jeff. i swear there is no worse pain. and i'm sorry the job went as a consequence.

but you are skilled and willing and can probably do just about anything!! make SURE your back is fully rested and healed up before seeking another job. this could be the Universe telling you something.....like slow down, take it easy, be nice to your back!!!

don't drink over it, for pete's sake.
AnvilheadII is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to AnvilheadII For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), Mireille (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018), tomsteve (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 12:13 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 129
Let your back recover properly and you can pretty much guarantee there will be another job opportunity; all the experience you seem to have will make you a very desirable commodity. No drinking though! It won’t help your back heal: instead, it’ll create inflammation that will dramatically slow the rate at which you recover. Best to you and keep the ice going.
wynwrights is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to wynwrights For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), Mireille (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 12:21 PM   #14 (permalink)
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,165
Sorry to hear that Jeff, glad you came here to talk about it first. You know drinking right now is without question the absolute worst possible decision you could make, no matter how bad the other circumstances might be.

Don't take what he said about your skills to heart, you know your capabilities and what he may or may not have said is irrelevant at this point. Yes it doesn't feel good but it's not something you can control and resentments will only hurt you.

My guess is that he's not someone you would want to keep working for anyway so I'd seek assistance in unemployment or disability that can help you now.
ScottFromWI is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ScottFromWI For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), Delilah1 (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 12:23 PM   #15 (permalink)
under new management
 
2ndhandrose's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,093
Jeff, I was just reading an article this morning about how physical injuries cause emotional distress, depression, etc.

Adding to that, you have been unfairly fired!

It's no wonder you are feeling low.

You have made such great strides in your recovery, managing all of the big life changes that came your way. I have been cheering you on from afar as long as we both have been here (and even before I signed up, when I visited as a guest first several times!).

This is tough, Jeff, but I have seen great things come out of the lowest of low places.

Whatever you do, please keep your sobriety front and center. You will overcome this.

__________________
"Catch your breath, take your time."
2ndhandrose is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to 2ndhandrose For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018), Trelkovsky (07-07-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 12:47 PM   #16 (permalink)
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 11,731
Hi Jeff,

I'm so sorry you hurt your back, and lost your job on top of that. I know you, and know that you will move on to find something even better.

I'm glad you came here and posted instead of drinking.

Do you have any contacts from your old business who may be able to point you in the right direction to find a better position?
__________________
Delilah

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway

Sobriety Date: January 1, 2016
Delilah1 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Delilah1 For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), JK130 (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 01:11 PM   #17 (permalink)
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,366
Blog Entries: 22
I'm concerned for you. Two posts in about a two month span about you being in the "danger zone" of drinking...this one and https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-slope.html (Slippery Slope).

I hope you can re-engage with what strengthened you before.
doggonecarl is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:
August252015 (06-29-2018), BDTL (06-28-2018), djlook (06-28-2018), MythOfSisyphus (06-29-2018), Rar (06-29-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018), tursiops999 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 01:28 PM   #18 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,885
Back issues are probably some of the worst pain I've ever experienced and that includes broken bones. There's no reason to drink at it though. I can understand his zero tolerence policy to a point, from being in the construction field, being left shorthanded in the past and missing a deadline,thus me 'somewhat' addopting the same policy..Although I'd be a bit more leniant if it wasn't a new guy or extenuating circumstances happened. There will be other jobs and the sun will still come up tomorrow,so be ready to face it still sober.
__________________
'Dumb' it down as much as you can....makes it WAYYYY easier!!
DontRemember is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to DontRemember For This Useful Post:
August252015 (06-29-2018), BDTL (06-28-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), thomas11 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 01:30 PM   #19 (permalink)
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,187
Quote:
Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Thomas11 didn't say he got hurt on the job. All he said was Monday night...

I've been fired unfairly from jobs. All I could do was accept it and look for something else.

If you're still in pain a lot of this will seem bigger and more unmanageable than it will once you're able to be up and about again. Chronic pain will do that.

How about binge watching some action adventure series where the good guy wins.

You're a good guy.

You'll land on your feet...soon.

Don't drink at it.

Thanks Biminiblue, you are correct, I did not get hurt on the job. I hurt my back at the gym.
thomas11 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
BDTL (06-28-2018), biminiblue (06-28-2018), Delilah1 (06-28-2018), MythOfSisyphus (06-29-2018), Rar (06-29-2018), SoberLeigh (06-28-2018), tomsteve (06-28-2018), tursiops999 (06-28-2018)
Old 06-28-2018, 01:36 PM   #20 (permalink)
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,187
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Sorry to hear that Jeff, glad you came here to talk about it first. You know drinking right now is without question the absolute worst possible decision you could make, no matter how bad the other circumstances might be.

Don't take what he said about your skills to heart, you know your capabilities and what he may or may not have said is irrelevant at this point. Yes it doesn't feel good but it's not something you can control and resentments will only hurt you.

My guess is that he's not someone you would want to keep working for anyway so I'd seek assistance in unemployment or disability that can help you now.
Hi Scott, to address your first sentence, I have been told multiple times that I am a horrible drunk, so I think drinking would not be the answer. I appreciate the feedback.
thomas11 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
MythOfSisyphus (06-29-2018)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:18 PM.