That's not negative at all love....that is you looking after yourself.
And that is the MOST important thing. :hug: ♥

I've survived through my first day after the relapse.

My biggest psychological issue is that I grew in poverty and when I was 12 years old I went almost a week without food.

And I have kind of emotional fixation - I don't tolerate being hungry, it make me panic.

And I feel like I have this "roving anxiety" if I don't stuff myself extra-full on a regular basis.

When I am at a grocery store I want everything.

Regular healthy meals help a lot with that because when blood sugar is stable and the brain is happy it's easier to apply logic.

But I still need to find the key to make my scared hungry inner child feel secure and happy.

And I am determined to do this.

Hunger is a humiliating experience. I have to leave it in the past and stop leaking into my present.

See you.

Just reading this one Suze- are there any local farms in your area that you can scope out for raw milk products? I know they are illegal to sell in some states but not all. Maybe it's worth looking into? They sold it in when we lived in PA but you have to really look for it here in Maryland. I didn't realize you were so sick here.

Went to a movie and on the drive home I saw a sign by the road that read, "Readings, Crystals, Astrology." Thinking it was a metaphysical shop I made a U-turn and stopped in and I ended up having a Tarot card reading.
She mentioned stuff about my life and marriage and when I asked about the food stuff she said "it's nothing you can't handle- you've overcome bigger addicdtions in the past." She also said it's going to be a gradual change and isn't going to happen in one day. She even used the phrase, "One day at a time..."

It makes this all feel so much lighter. I think putting so much pressure on myself to abstain from compulsive overeating is making things harder. Yes, that is my goal but I am making baby steps to get there. Every binge feels different- every urge is a bit easier and the binges are half the size that they used to be so I take that as an improvement.

I didn't abstain from my trigger foods today and that's okay. I still love myself, no matter what.
Hope everyone is doing okay- I'm sorry so of us are getting triggered it seems. Wish I knew how to help.

Oh honey...and you said "wow" to my fortitude.....what you have endured. I love you so much.

And I get it.....from the perspective of a Jew who lost family in concentration camps, and studied the Holocaust in detail.....I know the fear of being hungry.

I have heard these same sentiments from many of the older care clients I worked with....and many people I grew up with...it's one of the reasons Jewish people always want their family to eat...eat....

Except I was told over and over that I was born looking like a skinny chicken and that I ate for two years. My grandma thought it was funny....I did not. Do not. I still blame their indulgence on my eating issues...but they weren't to know. They were just happy to have a healthy child.

I am so sorry you went through that darling Midnight....just prouder and prouder to be your friend every day. :hug: ♥

I love this post. I always think you are so very hard on yourself, although of course I understand this trait... :)

I am unbelievably proud of you.
You and Midnight are the most determined women I have ever known. You are both my heroes. :hug: ♥♥♥

And ha....we may need to let someone know the thread is over....you can always report the last post if you like and just let them know.... :) :hug: ♥

I don't know....I don't really know what that means.
But I will find out....I know their are dairy farms you can buy milk from directly, and maybe some of the milk is like old-fashioned milk without all of the preservatives?

It's really the only issue remaining....I/we have sourced everything else....almost. :) :hug:

I am really late to this thread. I have a true sugar addiction especially in the
form of chocolate and ice cream. I am known to have two large bowls of chocolate many nights. I know that it is so unhealthy butI literally crave it at night. About a week ago,I bought Giradelli chocolate bars with86% cocoa. I started out having three squares a night,found it surprisingly satisfying, and am now down to 1-2 squares.

Cookies and cake are also a big problem. If there is cake in the house, it is gone I notice.

I have been this way all of my life. Often, I am the only one to order dessert.

Support to all. I have a motif reading to do to catch up

Aww honey......no, I did not know. :hug:
Glad you are here. ♥♥♥♥♥

Have you ever tried cauliflower mashed instead of mashed potatoes. Irteuly
Is
Pretty good

Hi, Soberleigh.

Kicking sugar addiction is tough but doable.

As Michael Jordan's trainer says: "If you really want to know what a person is made of, make him go through 10 days sugar detox".

One day at a time goes a long way.

During my sugar-free time I was on a couple of all-inclusive vacations. You get the picture - temptations all around.

I was fine and didn't struggle, didn't feel deprived or restricted.

Really, it was mostly in my head.

Hopefully my dentist will fix my tooth tomorrow and I will be able to eat properly again.

Best wishes to all.

Sunfloweife, you did a fantastic job.

Well you are just the greatest. Thank you for always believing in me.

Hi Leigh!!

Thank you! I am working on painting the windows blue this week. Then I need to find curtains. Cant wait to share the finished product with you all!

I think you girls have similar colour tastes....OK, color, American spelling...bet Leigh is going to be all over helping you to find the right curtains Sunny. :) ♥

I love curtains! If that gorgeous room (with that beautiful brick and amazing mantel) were mine, I would go for plantation shutters

But I love curtains, too - they create so much softness and interest (not to mention the fun you can have coordinating pillows
!

Ouch, MB; Ihopw that your dentist can completely
take care of that tooth.

Love that Michael Jordan quote. A ten day detox :scared: just the thought of it.

Thete was a miles long chocolate on a cruise that we were on. I embarrassed myself and my husband.

I simply cannot imagine what you went through,MB. I am so sorry.

Ooh- I’ve never had plantation shutters!

I really wanted bamboo shades but they are not in the budget and also it’s very difficult to hang anything with these windows as the lip is like 1/4” thick. So curtains are my only option. Also I have about $120 left to spend :/

Have a look at Overstock....just even to get a good range of options, if you haven't...I always get ideas from there. :hug: ♥

I love bamboo shades, too; they are some of my favorite things from the 70s. I bet that they are much nicer, now.

This was dinner tonight....my mum's old favourite....sorry about the mayonnaise but it's organic and made from good stuff....so lots of tuna and lettuce, eggs, beans, beetroot, tomatoes and cucumber. I love it....so does Nick....luckily. :)

https://i.imgur.com/EmDzvAF.jpg

That is an excellent dinner, Suze. I love the presentation, too!

Time for a Part Two - come join us in the Daily Support Forum :)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-pt-2-a.html