the neurological basis of my alcoholism
 

It was in the same part of my brain responsible for lack of effective coping mechanisms.

:13:

Mine too. Every time something happens that I can't or won't deal with the bottle is what I run to. This weekend my in laws were here. Which is fine. I like them. But i was just coming off a 2 day binge and my 15 year old was quiet and subdued. Which is NOT like him. When he finally opened up about what was wrong he said I just feel like we are acting like everything is ok and it's not. That really got me. So how do I deal with it? Exactly the wrong way. Because it's all I know. 😳

And you confirmed this with a neurologist? Or was it self-diagnosed?

I personally found that why I am an alcoholic is a lot less important than the fact that I am one. You have started many vague/theoretical threads about the origin of your issue with alcohol, is that perhaps because you haven’t accepted it yet?

My neurologist is also board-certified in psychiatry.
That was what he said.
I agree with the assessment.

When I look at when I drank, it was often related to work stress and a desire to relax or check out. Mix too many bad days with a highly addictive substance that messes with brain chemicals and you get chaos and disaster. One thing I learned about the alcohol loop is that the alcohol creates a stressor that is only relieved by adding more alcohol. Learning that alcohol didn't help me cope with the bad days, in my almost 6 months away from it, I have been able to better handle my work stress (which has not changed. I did).

That was my experience too.

Whatever stops us from putting the bottle to lip is all that matters to me at this point.

Which also means intellectualizing it, as you are wont to do, can be of aid. For me, it often is. I see my addiction to alcohol as also a component of the part of me that seeks out the stress and heightened state of being in a jam, the thrill of doing the wrong thing and getting away with it - this adolescent but powerful urge to disappoint. Lots of sh-t up there in that head.

But what also work is just saying f--k off to the Beast and getting on to the next.

So now that you have that answered, what is the next step?

Self-sabotage was a particular indulgence of mine, however perverse. An ineffective coping mechanism, but one nevertheless.

Besides not drinking, I'm not sure a next step is necessary.

Indeed. Very very effective mechanism of avoidance as well. And a real addiction.

Wish I could say self-sabotage "was" an indulgence. Even with the booze down, old habits, hard to quit.

following on from your first post, developing effective coping mechanisms might be a useful next step :)

My tendency to procrastinate preceded my alcoholism, and still exists. In that respect, alcoholism masked an underlying issue. Hence, lack of effective coping mechanisms. Remove the alcohol, and the underlying issue is exposed for what it is.

Yes - what is been brought to the forefront for me during this last round of struggles at staying sober and therapy is just how dangerous and deep the addiction to procrastinate runs.

The word itself has such an innocuous ring to it. Like putting off the call to grandma. But it is a life ruiner.

I find exercise and hobbies pretty effective. I’ve grown tiresome of meetings, but I still go. Lately it just doesn’t seem like a productive use of time.

But alas, I'm not drinking, which in itself, is an effective coping strategy by virtue of eliminating one that wasn't.

welp, ya started with:
It was in the same part of my brain responsible for lack of effective coping mechanisms.

then:
I agree with the assessment.

sooo, its not necessary to learn coping mechanisms then?

see permalink #16.

why "alas"?

I'm not sure whether eliminating an ineffective coping strategy makes for an effective coping strategy in itself - doesn't it just bring you back to where you started?

what issues do you have trouble coping with? if you can identify them then you can develop particular strategies to deal with them. family, finances, relationships, career ... ?

exercise & hobbies are great for general well-being & for avoiding boredom that may have been a trigger, but they don't necessarily address specific issues.

I can’t find redress or reprieve from existential malaise.