Weekender 19- 23 April 2018
 

I've been trying to build my library back up recently - I had to sell a lot of books over the years, sometimes for money when I was drinking, and then in recent years for space considerations.

so...I've started with a few of my favorites, and one arrived today - Ray Bradbury's The Illustrated Man.

It's a cracking collection of short stories, bound by the idea that each story is a tattoo or illustration on the body of the title character.

I have no tattoos myself, but it got me to thinking about my journey, and how many scrapes and scars and wrinkles I've acquired over the course of my life - some visible some not.

I decided long ago, when I first came to recovery, I wasn't going to be ashamed of these markers any more - I wanted to celebrate them.

Each of them stands for something - good bad or indifferent - which has led me to this point, and who I am now.

Rather than defects or scars I feel maybe it's better to think of them as gifts?

I've spoken before about the Japanese practice of kintsukuroi - repairing broken pottery with gold and other precious metals - repairing things are 'broken' in such a way they actually gain value and a new unique identity.


https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ntsukuroi.html

a wonderful analogy for recovery I think?

Have a wonderful weekend everyone - and remember this thread is here, all weekend, open to everyone for help and support :)

D

Hi shotgun good morning

Stotgun!

Thank you Dee for that thoughtful OP.

Congratulations on shotgun GMS, I hope you are well.


I think most of my scars are either internal, to my insides and my psyche or external, to family relationships, friends and career prospects and whilst some of those are broken beyond repair others are stronger now than they have ever been. My scars are definitely a part of who I am.

ps. I have not read the book but The Illustrated Man starring Rod Steiger is an excellent film.

Thank you, Dee!

What a great intro!

I love Bradbury!

The scar theme reminded me of the lines I wrote back when I was about one month sober:

"...My walls are made of broken glass,
With false reflections of reality;
My soul is scarred with wounds of past,
At least I'm strong in my sobriety.

Congrats on the shotgun, GrantMeSerenity!

What a wonderful, wonderful intro, Dee. Thank you very much for it.

Being hung up on past regrets is one of my greatest weaknesses, and definitely the one I’d most like to be free from.

I’ve always loved the kintsukoroi analogy, but have had a hard time believing it or myself.

Your “cataloguing” of your scars is a really cool idea.

A lot of my scars I have never even “looked straight in the eye” at—at the very specter of them, I cringe and move on.

Maybe it might be a good idea for me to make a gratitude list featuring them all! :)

Morning,

Books and Tattoos.... I've never been much of a book reader, but I do much preffer a 'real' book. We read to both our Children as they grew up. Once they graduated from the toddler books it was 'The Velveteen Rabit','Moby Dick, Treasure Island, 'Swiss Family Robinson', ect. My son is an avid book reader, and I'm proud of him for that. How many kids would spend all their allowance at the book store? At least I (we) got something right.

I've been mulling about the idea of tatto for a number of years now, just haven't settled on where and what type. But now that I can afford one.....

You've heard me talk about my Daughter and her mental health issues before. She is my greatest golden repair. We have become quite close and are often out and about together during the week and weekends. My relationship with my Son is also beginning to improve.

Oh ya, this Saturday the whole family (Grampa included) will be headed to a book fair. Proceeds to the Childrens hospital, we go every year and find a treasure or two. My son always leaves with arms full...

Hope everyone has a good day - thanks for sharing that MB :)
D

Asst. to the Asst. shotgun :)

I'm in for the weekend but out of town, so won't be posting much.

Love the metaphor Dee, but sometimes I wonder if I'm more gold than pot
I've broke myself so many times with drink.

Be safe and sober everyone--

I’m in.

A really busy weekend ahead. I work a regular job during the week and pick up shifts at a restaurant on the weekend. Taking on more hours as spring hits so I can take my kids to six flags and a cubs game in June.

They aren’t fans when I’m gone on the weekends, but they love the benefits! Sometimes a Mom can’t win!

I like a stiff drink after a work shift, but even thinking about it makes my stomach turn.

Every weekend gets a little easier.

Let’s do this!

I'm in.

I'm in.

Like Hawkeye, I sometimes wonder if I'm more gold than pot. But - if that's true, doesn't that make us even MORE valuable?? :)

But seriously. I used to be really afraid to look at those scars, both physical and emotional. Didn't think I could handle the memories, or face up to what caused them. I have a picture of myself in the hospital after I tripped on my front steps, hitting my head hard, and causing two small skull fractures, a small brain bleed, and the loss of my sense of smell (permanent, probably). I hated looking at it for a long time. There I am, two big black eyes, looking quite banged up. For a long time, I denied to myself and others it was from drinking. My front steps are rather easy to trip on, so I went with that. That allowed me to keep living in denial for a few years, and saved me from having to confess how bad the drinking was getting. Amazing that no one called me out on that. People HAD to know. And deep down, I knew. I didn't quit for over two years after that.

I can look at the picture now, even though it still makes me cringe. But the cringing is because I'm kind of mad at myself for not seeing it as the wake-up call it certainly should have been. Not because I'm ashamed to admit it was mostly because I was drunk. I see it as one of things that eventually got me to where I am now, sober and filling in the cracks with gold.

Hi!
I'm in for another sober weekend.
I like the idea of seeing scars as gifts. It's difficult to learn how to forgive and love ourselves. Today, I try to be the best person I can be. I can't change mistakes of the past. I Continue to make positive changes. Life is good these days.
Ok....I love weekends!!
:c011:

What a beautiful post Dee....and yes, what a wonderful analogy for recovery.
And one that is very close to my own heart....my signature reflects the way I feel. And like you, I am proud of my scars....proud of the way that I am healing in the broken places....I like the woman who I am piecing together.

Building a library here too because I left all of my books in Australia. Dumb. Should have shipped them. But I love that books are cheaper here, and the library is taking beautiful shape.

Think I'm doing OK too. :)

Onto the weekend with all of you.... :grouphug:
So much love. xx

Thank you Dee. Wonderful post.

I'm in for the weekend. I hope everyone has a really nice weekend.

Your post is beautiful MLD.... :hug:

And yes, if we are more gold than pot, that makes us even more precious.

(And my mother's surname was Goldman and my dad's was Silver. :))

How cool, Suze!

thanks Dee. I'd never heard of Kintsukuroi before, but I rather like it, very Zen :)

If anyone is interested, there's quite a bit of Kintsukuroi for sale on Etsy. I am sure it's not "real" gold - most of it isn't expensive enough, but some of it is quite nice looking and might be a cool thing to have as a visual reminder. I might buy a piece.

I'm in.
Went out after work tonight - and strangely no-one in our group was drinking.
Plenty of wine around on other tables, but everyone was, no- have other stuff to do.
I'm definitely still cracked at the moment - may need to invest more heavily in some repair work.

Thank you Dee.
So glad to see all the weekenders.......I am in.
Looking forward to an active and healthy weekend.